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How do you get on with your midwife?

(26 Posts)
Flappergirl86 Fri 07-Apr-17 18:21:44

My midwife seems really disinterested in me. I know she's a medical professional not a mate but she is completely unenthused about pregnancy in general and makes me feel like I'm a chore! Today was only my 2nd appointment with her (at 25 weeks) she asked if I wanted her to check the heartbeat or if I was OK with knowing it had been kicking. When I said I'd like to hear the heartbeat she seemed a bit pissed off! She also didn't measure my bump which I thought was standard. She told me to get my bloods done at the hospital with my gtt so she didn't have to do it and when i spoke to her at my previous appointment about having nipple pain she told me to see a Dr as she didn't know about it. She's in her 50s so I can't really put it down to inexperience. She also got a bit snappy with me when I asked if I could check both our local hospitals out before registering with one to deliver at -which the NHS website had encouraged me to do!
She's the only midwife at my surgery, do I just have to suck it up or do I have any options? Am I just being a drama queen?

vfoster Fri 07-Apr-17 18:28:53

I don't have one midwife and tend to just see whoever is on duty. I've had some who were like this and some who were super friendly. I generally feel rushed out though!
If you can't change I guess just continue to be firm with her and tell her what you need. It's tough but only three more months left!
Are you getting growth scans? I went to my appointment on Monday (I'm 25 weeks too) and they said they wouldn't bother measuring my bump as I was having growth scans for the next three months so maybe why you're not getting measured?

FrenchFrys Fri 07-Apr-17 18:35:05

I like my midwife but my OH and mum seem to think she is awful 😐 She tells me she is going to do a lot to help me with my mental health issues but nothing every comes of it. Just constant "oh I'll have to chase that up"

user1471433387 Fri 07-Apr-17 18:46:31

I'm not in the UK so don't have a midwife but at every appointment my doctor listens to the baby's heartbeat with a doppler. The kicking means the baby is alive, yes, but they should still check the heart rate and what it sounds like. Not because the mum wants to hear but to check it is medically OK!

I don't think they measured my bump until the third trimester.

Flappergirl86 Fri 07-Apr-17 19:09:39

I'm not having any growth scans so I'm not sure why she's not measuring. I think I am gonna have to just be firm with her and suck it up. Hopefully they'll be a bit more supportive when I really need it come labour day! Guess it's luck of the draw. Thanks for your replies and hope your midwife pulls her finger out French! X

SprogletsMum Fri 07-Apr-17 19:16:47

They don't usually measure until 28 weeks.
My midwife is nice enough but appointments are quick, it's my 4th though so I don't have any questions for her.

ellesbellesxxx Fri 07-Apr-17 19:21:30

Mine is very relaxed and chilled.she would be fab if you were having a home birth or in a MLU only but a few things she has missed during my twin pregnancy/not really sounded bothered about. Luckily I see the consultant and her midwife team on a regular basis now and I just talk to them about any concerns, she just does the paperwork/bloods etc

glitterglitters Fri 07-Apr-17 19:22:42

They don't measure till 28 weeks now.

glitterglitters Fri 07-Apr-17 19:23:47

Oops pressed post! My midwife is lovely but she's the community one and the same one I had for my daughter and knows my DH's family.

justanotheryoungmother Fri 07-Apr-17 19:29:42

My old midwife seemed to be was bothered by the fact that I'm young (19) and for some reason once managed to get herself into a tangent on how David Cameron had done wonders for this country maybe she's just mentally a bit unstable. But yes, was quite rude at some points (due to my age), so I wouldn't say she was the best or most professional.

I've had a different midwife since 33 weeks (moved) who I've only met once, she seemed nice enough but did get things wrong, e.g. she said my baby was a breech and was tiny, referred to hospital where they said baby was most definitely not small and most definitely not in a breech position. So I don't know, she seems okay but DP's mum had her before and said she got everything wrong in all three pregnancies (position of baby etc) so whilst she's nice, I'm not tooooo confident in what she says to be the gospel truth. Not even sure if any of that was relevant to the post grin

Mummyme87 Fri 07-Apr-17 19:55:12

Fundal height isn't routinely measured until 28/40, fetal heart rate monitoring I believe isn't advised routinely until 32-34/40 I believe.. movement is much more indicative of fetal well being

gigi556 Fri 07-Apr-17 20:02:24

Your midwife sounds like a bitch. I'd complain! And try to get a different one if possible. My midwife is lovely. I've also seen one other when mine was on holiday plus a couple student midwifes who assisted at my appointments. The appointments are a bit quick, but I think that's standard. Everyone I've dealt with so far has been lovely. I'm 33 weeks and no complications so far. I'm planning a home birth and just hoping the midwives that show up on the day are as nice as everyone I've come across so far.

SlB09 Fri 07-Apr-17 20:03:47

Sounds like shes mentally checked out and needs to retire! I had issues with confidentiality with my original one (as in she basically told me all about my neighbour who she was,the midwife for) at my booking appointment, made me massively uncomfortable! So complained and as she was the only one for my surgery another midwife from another surgery sees me and she couldnt be nicer or more professional. Appointments are quick but to be honest I dont mind as the one time I had an issue she took the time to discuss it. Ask to change x

TestingTestingWonTooFree Fri 07-Apr-17 20:34:47

My midwife is a pain in the arse in that she doesn't listen, makes assumptions, talks at length about herself and is chronically late. She's nice enough though and good when you actually need her. I've discovered a drop in clinic once a week not far from home that is far more efficient for checks/advice, so I prefer to go there.

podrig Mon 10-Apr-17 15:30:05

I'm quite attached to my MW. last couple of times we've moved my appt to last so we have time to chat! I've had a bit of a peculiar life the last few months though which I've discussed with her quite a lot. If you like her ignore the others, and if you don't start making your appts with someone else!

LeBoob Mon 10-Apr-17 15:44:40

I was measured 2 weeks ago at 25+6 hmm

2014newme Mon 10-Apr-17 15:47:22

My bump was never measured. I saw a different midwife each time. No dramas I wasn't looking for someone to fuss over me and make me feel like a princess

kikibo Mon 10-Apr-17 16:45:07

I'm not in the UK, but my gynaecologist has no time really, which is a shame, and when he does he doesn't seem to really listen at all... Like most doctors here in Germany (compared to Belgium where I come from, where the first 10 minutes out of 20 a doctor will actually devote to listening to their patient).
Thankfully the midwife who'll do my birth (fingers crossed) talks a lot and seems to really value a personal connection. smile. She's over 60, I think (40 years in the business) and works as an independent midwife with a colleague, sometimes doing 36-hour shifts.
The first time we met she told me about her absence (she tore a tendon in her hand by slipping on the stairs and was off work for 2 months). I think during that first half hour she talked and I listened.

Creatureofthenight Mon 10-Apr-17 17:04:08

I also have had a different midwife at each appointment, whether at hospital or with the community midwives. They've been mostly fine, the booking in one was the nicest.

Bubblysqueak Mon 10-Apr-17 17:10:03

Loved my midwife and saw her for both dc. She couldn't do enough for me, spent ages at every appointment and even came to the house to do a few appointments as she was in my village doing home visits on new born and thought it would save me the hassle.

throughgrittedteeth Mon 10-Apr-17 17:11:21

2014 it's not about feeling like a princess it's about getting the correct care and checks when you're pregnant! OP isn't looking for special treatment, just to be reassured that everything is OK and that the midwife actually cares. The attitude of some people on here today... hmm

2014newme Mon 10-Apr-17 18:19:16

If the correct checks are not being done you call the practice manager don't you?

MissJC Mon 10-Apr-17 19:26:28

My midwife was lovely, she was the same midwife my mum had when pregnant with me so she was really old and sweet. Gave me a big hug too when she did home visit after DD was born and signed me off.
I felt like she really did give a shit. She would often reply to my querying texts with a little x at the end too!

Mummyh2016 Mon 10-Apr-17 19:45:21

They don't measure or do bloods at 25 weeks normally. Bloods are only at booking appointment and 28W and they don't start measuring until 28W. You will feel like more is getting done from your next appointment.

inspiredbutohsotired Mon 10-Apr-17 19:50:56

I love mine! She's friendly, super respectful and very nice. I've seen some above saying that your midwife treats you differently because you're young - that's awful! I'm 21 and she made a note of my age but no other mention of it and certainly not like it's a bad thing. She always tells me how well I'm doing and is just a lovely person! But not intrusive - I don't hear from her between meetings, which is just how I like it, and she gave me her personal number in case I need to contact her.

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