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(6 Posts)
libm127 Thu 06-Apr-17 09:21:02

Quick question (perhaps more for people who already have a child)...

I left Facebook about 18 months ago. It wasn't adding anything to my life and it was a drain on my time. I have also wondered if it's not that great for new mums because it seems to encourage people to compare and worry.

Anyway, fast forward to now and I am 31 weeks pregnant. All the local NCT stuff seems to be organised on Facebook, as well as various local groups for selling baby things. Also, the new 'Tinder for mums' app requires a Facebook log in.

Am I shooting myself in the foot by not being on Facebook? I'm a teacher, so this holiday is a little trial run for my mat leave, which begins 4 weeks after I go back to school. I am already starting to think about whether I will feel socially isolated and how I will make friends.

Thanks in advance for any advice.

Beansonapost Thu 06-Apr-17 09:46:21

I found Facebook made me feel even lonelier when I had DD.

I felt really isolated. I have deactivated my account, but I do still use facebook. you can most definitely find pages without needing to log in unless they are private etc.

I sometimes log in when I need to get information. Just turn the chat off and no one will know you came online.

FeelingForSnow Thu 06-Apr-17 11:21:24

I feel the same. I really dislike FB simply because it doesn't add much value to my life but it do tend to use it anyways for things I could easily live without.
I have thought about deactivating but then I do have a few people I keep in touch only via FB and I wouldn't want to loose it.
I'm not socially very active and if someone needs me in the future and I am not on FB I know ppl won't go that extra mile to find me using any other way.
Therefore I stay and the only solution I can see is not to use it.
It might be difficult to start with but if you decrease it gradually then it will work.
You can use notification options that you can receive in your email like if someone has tagged you or sent you a friend request or a message.
It is somehow sad that we are tied to it but if you aren't a very social animal then to deactivate your account might put you even a bit more isolated place IMO.
But it is all very individual and some might find deactivating very beneficial.

libm127 Thu 06-Apr-17 13:12:17

Thanks for your thoughtful replies. I haven't found it too difficult being off Facebook. For example, I might WhatsApp a photo to just a few people rather than posting it, which feels more personal anyway. I'm still in touch with everybody I used to be.

It's more making new 'mum' friends that seems to possibly be a bit Facebook dependent. I have one really good friend who will be on mat leave at the same time as me but we live a good 1.5 hours apart so I know I'll need local buddies! I might wait to meet my NCT group and see what they think...

It's interesting and not totally surprising to me that some people find Facebook more isolating than not being on it.

Sparklyuggs Thu 06-Apr-17 13:41:23

My SIL is on Facebook under a very private profile with her first name and middle name for this reason. She only uses it for local mum stuff.

PerspicaciaTick Thu 06-Apr-17 13:43:35

Have a basic profile, don't bother posting anything of your own and just use it to follow the groups you are interested in (not the gossipy stuff but the "Mother and Baby group is cancelled this week due to a burst pipe in the hall" stuff.

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