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(11 Posts)
user1490882356 Fri 31-Mar-17 13:59:02

I'm 5 months pregnant the boyfriend and I are moving into our first house this summer I have major trust issues because of things he's done in the past and recently and all he seems to want to do is be going out drinking on a weekend and making jokes about it.
I'm worrying about making sure everything's ready for the baby aswell as worrying about what he's doing once my backs turned even though he says he's doing nothing.

FrizzBombDelight Fri 31-Mar-17 14:22:50

Don't move in with him!

Tilly2017 Fri 31-Mar-17 14:50:38

Maybe sit and have a chat about how your feeling. He might be living night up knowing thats soon going to stop or be less often. But talking or letting him know is always a good option. You could even write a letter or email to him to read.

Know95 Fri 31-Mar-17 15:00:31

I think you should talk to him about your feelings and explain that your hormones are higher than usual due to the pregancy. It might be the case that he's making the most of his time/letting off some steam until your baby comes along, I know my partner would do the same to a certian extent before ours is born. You definitely need to try and figure it out though, even if it's compromising like he goes out every other weekend before your baby's born or something, talk about solutions that will make you both happy. I found from experience that if you try and control them it pushes then away more, but don't let them take advantage of you! Stay strong, be postive and keep smiling. Good Luck.

user1490882356 Fri 31-Mar-17 15:07:05

Thanks for your posts.
He says he's not gonna hurt me again and wouldn't risk everything we have, but I've heard it before, I'm just scared of giving him that chance he can trust me again for him to ruin everything we have.
He's one of them drunks he loses sight of everything and doesn't think about what he's doing and the excuse is "well I don't remember so it never happened" every time he goes it he regrets it and wishes the night never happened. I never get asked to do anything or go anywhere with him sometimes I think he forgets just cause I'm pregnant doesn't mean I'm not capable of a social life. He thinks I should stay at home why he's out doing whatever.
We both do love each other and I can see a change in him recently but I'm scared of his childish ways coming back

Tilly2017 Fri 31-Mar-17 15:31:55

So why not initiciate something yourself... a night at the movies or dinner out or inviting some friends round for drinks and nibbles. He might get idea and then hopefully lead on from tgere maybe?

user1490882356 Fri 31-Mar-17 15:42:58

He goes mad if I make plans even if I go to see family he tries to wind me up saying I've not been where I've said I've been but I feel like that's just a guilty conscience. Luckily he's going to an event at the end of April so I've arranged to meet some friends and get some food with them

anxiousandpregnant Fri 31-Mar-17 15:45:37

Been there and got the t-shirt, you need to talk to him and tell him to stop going out every weekend, that's not how a dad acts and you know that deep down don't you. If he's not willing to change then your going to spend a lot of time being miserable and depressed during your pregnancy while he's out living the high life without a care in the world. As long as you let him do this he's never going to stop, give him an ultimatum and be prepared to follow it through.

Tilly2017 Fri 31-Mar-17 16:01:29

I can relate to your last comment OP but dont be scared to really put your foot down and be very firm. I was and walked out on mine for a weekend he soon changed his veiw but still a working progress. However he now knows boundaries and wouldnt dare accuse me of being places im not. Good luck x

NerrSnerr Fri 31-Mar-17 16:54:21

'He goes mad if I make plans even if I go to see family'

Do not move in with him. Once you've had the baby he'll never 'let' you out again. It is not normal or right for a boyfriend to go mad if you make plans to go out.

kathrynelizabeth3005 Fri 31-Mar-17 21:27:27

Your messages are throwing up a lot of red flags regarding him becoming extremely controlling and abusive if you do move in with him.

Do you mind me asking how old you are and who you're living with at the moment.

I would be extremely wary of moving in with him based on what you've said and from how you've said it, you seem to be having strong doubts that living with him is the right thing to do.

Similarly, if you have major trust issues, you should listen to him and not give him the benefit of the doubt. He sounds awful, immature and quite controlling!

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