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Can anyone offer me any reassurance? Early BFP

(9 Posts)
Mollymolly76 Fri 31-Mar-17 09:27:49

This week I've got my first ever much longed for BFP at 11dpt (ivf cycle)

We've been trying for many many years so I'm absolutely delighted I've finally got that 2nd line on a test.

I tested the day after too and the line is slightly darker so I know that's a good sign.

Now I'm absolutely petrified that something will go wrong - I imagined the elation of a bfp would keep me on cloud 9 for ages but instead all I can think is 'what's going to go wrong'.

So I know I'll have a heartbeat scan between 6/7 weeks (currently 4 weeks).

Does anyone know how common early mc are? Or chemical pregnancy? What are my chances?

I just want some reassurance if I'm honest!

AprilShowers177 Fri 31-Mar-17 09:36:52

Try not to spend your time researching failure rates. Enjoy the fact you have BFP, you say you've had ivf so I assume there haven't been many bfp tests for you- hold on to the positives. Yes there is a chance of losing baby but there is lots more chance of this being a healthy pregnancy. I understand it's worrying, but this is one step closer to babysmile

GreedyDuck Fri 31-Mar-17 09:42:59


My sincere advice would be to step away from google. Statistics can't tell you whether your individual pregnancy will work out, and it becomes very easy to obsess about everything.

As a rule of thumb, if there is a hb at 8 weeks, the chance of mc drops significantly, but that statistic is of little comfort if you are one of the 1%.

I find that saying to myself 'today I am pregnant' is a good way of getting through the interminable early weeks. Live in the present and try not to worry too much (good practice for once you have children too). Good luck.

Lilly948204 Fri 31-Mar-17 09:45:12

I'd say don't research it. I know how hard that is to do but it won't give you any reassurance. My first pregnancy ended in a MMC and when I got pregnant again I spent ages researching and reading every day about the chance of this and the chance of that. Realistically there is nothing you can do and the best piece of advice I got was 1) Remember you are much more likely to have a healthy pregnancy than a miscarriage (even if you've had a MC before.) 2) Just take it 1 day at a time. Don't think beyond that to months and months, it's too overwhelming. I'm currently 35 weeks pregnant and I honestly never thought I'd get here. Keep positive and good luck with everything xx

EpoxyResin Fri 31-Mar-17 10:44:01

First of all I agree with all the other posters who say STEP AWAY FROM GOOGLE. But I also know you probably won't, and also that for some people statistics are hugely reassuring. I'm one of those people. When I got my first BFP the first thing I asked my doctor (in disbelief) was, "so, what are the chances of me actually having - you know - a baby??". FWIW I had a baby grin Do remember as well that you've already gotten over the first hurdle; many early miscarriage statistics include the fact that a large number of pregnancies fail before a BFP is even seen.

So in case it goes some way to ease your anxiety here is a site you can put your due date in and it shows your risk of miscarriage dropping day by day. You'll notice that even now at 3-4 weeks from LMP (I'm guessing - I don't really understand dpo) you have a 66-75% chance of everything being JUST FINE. 75% chance and growing! That's great, right??

Clicky link for you to see your odds improving every day

Mollymolly76 Fri 31-Mar-17 22:04:31

Thank you for the replies.

It's crazy how all this takes you completely by surprise. All I've ever done is pray for a positive HPT now all I can do is pray for it to stick.

It's good seeing the statistics. I like the fact it's about 70/30 in my favour smile

I'm going to POAS in the morning and pray the line is darker - hopefully that will make me feel a bit better for all of 5 minutes!!

Lemondrop09 Fri 31-Mar-17 22:49:32

Careful about POAS too much. You can drive yourself crazy over line darkness. If you are slightly more/less dehydrated, use a different test etc, all sorts of reasons can make your lines different shades. It's easy to send yourself into an unnecessary panic over lines! Definitely don't start with clear blue digital tests to see the weeks go up, you can drive yourself insane.

Also, without sounding too depressing and only saying this for perspective, pregnancy hormones stay in your body for a while. So even if you were unlucky enough to have a miscarriage, you'd still get positive tests for some time. So positives tests don't tell you much and can make you worry.

Just take a deep breathe and realise with every day that goes by, risk of miscarriage drops. Stay the hell away from Google, you'll scare yourself silly. Just think positive, you have no reason to think anything will go wrong.

I say all this from experience, as I took none of my own advice and stressed myself out beyond belief in the first two weeks. Then I got HG, which certainly gave me something else to think about!

It can be worrying. If you can afford it, maybe book in for a private scan around 7-8 weeks. You should be able to see the heartbeat by then, which is very reassuring.

Lemondrop09 Fri 31-Mar-17 22:50:53

Sorry, just saw you said you will have a scan. Good idea. I'd try to hang out till closer to 7 weeks, as if your dates are slightly off, early scans can also cause stress. Should have a lovely heartbeat by 7 weeks smile

Lemondrop09 Fri 31-Mar-17 22:53:02

You know what, ignore me, I see you had ivf, hence the scan. So I guess you'll have it when the clinic wants. Sorry, I've got baby brain and have been throwing up all day. Well that's my excuse!

My SIL have ivf and had my niece with her first cycle. I'm sure it'll all be fine

stops gibbering rubbish and goes to bed

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