Scared to tell husband I'm pregnant

[user1490908264]

So I took a test earlier today after feeling a bit off key the last week and realised I am pregnant with baby no 4. Terrified to tell hubby because I'm not sure what his reaction will be. Bit of background, I have a 5 year old, 3 year old and 1 1/2 year old already. Last pregnancy was very scary for me and both myself and the baby almost didn't make it. She was born very premature at 28 weeks but thankfully does not have any lasting issues and is now very happy and healthy. I was very sick after and in hospital for 3 weeks. I went on the pill when my periods returned and have been on it since. Haven't missed any days but a few weeks back I has a very bad infection which I had antibiotics for. After that cleared I ended up with an infection on my wisdom tooth and had to have another dose of antibiotics. Didn't think anything of it at the time but that's the only possible explanation I have for falling pregnant again. Hubby wasn't overly happy when he found out I was pregnant with no 3 as he only ever wanted 2 children. Having said that, he is an amazing dad and it didn't take him long after finding out to get on board and support me. He never pressured me to have a termination or anything like that. He had mentioned he is stressed about finances as he is the only one of us working at the moment until the children are in school as we can't afford childcare. Sorry for the long story, I'm just very shocked and scared at the moment. Not sure how to tell hubby, how he will react. Not even sure how I feel. How will I cope with 4 on my own with hubby working 12-14 hours shifts 6 days a week. I'm just very overwhelmed right now. I feel like I want to be happy but at the same time I feel guilty for the pressure it will put on my hubby. I don't want to push him away but he has been very adamant about the fact that he does not want any more children.

[salsaysthis]

You didn't mention if you want the baby or not, that's the most important question.

How far along are you? Are you against abortion?

[user1490908264]

I only took the test yesterday so haven't had much time to think about it but yes, I am shocked, but happy. I am not against abortion but for me right now, I know I would not want to have one. I estimate myself to be around 4-5 weeks along based to dated of last period

[AprilShowers177]

Tell him! You've both had such a scary experience with your last child you need to share it with him. You can approach it by saying your worries for the pregnancy.

If your DH really only wanted 2 children he needs to take more responsibility for contraception especially after arrival of number 3.

[BernardsarenotalwaysSaints]

It's horrible that feeling isn't it?! Our dc4 was unexpected & I was really worried about telling him. He was fine, asked me how I felt about it all & ultimately went with the flow, he had worries & concerns but also made sure I knew that he was fully behind her & the baby.

Please tell him sooner rather than later, the longer you leave it the harder it will get.

We're expecting dc5 now (I'm 21 weeks) & we couldn't be happier, this will be our last

[BernardsarenotalwaysSaints]

Behind her? No, behind me! Can't see half of what I'm typing again

[user1490908264]

Thank you everyone for the responses. I literally only joined mumsnet yesterday just for advice on this because it's been stressing me out so much. Thought I would feel better after I slept on it, but I think I'm even more stressed now that it's sunk in. I am definitely going to tell him. He's away this weekend for his friends stag do, so when he is back I will tell him and see where it goes from there.

[Bellabutterfly2016]

Hey op, how did it go?
Just been scrolling about and I've come across this thread.
I'm in a similar position I've just been made redundant and I'm pregnant and darent tell my partner - we had dd who is 3 and would like more but stopped TtC the minute we knew about potential job losses end of march, there was 1 incident unprotected in April but way outside the ovulation "window of opportunity" (according to my app!!)

I've known for definate about 2-3 weeks but my period in march was very late and unusually light (potential implantation bleed) then no period at the end of April and a BFP beginning of May.

Potentially I'm either 7-8 or 11-12wks and bricking it. I'm not sleeping very well it's just a mess!

I'm trying to be positive but he's gone out to meet his brother and I'm sat here in my own thinking all sorts, dreading him leaving us getting very very upset.

Fortunately I've had no sickness at all (I didn't last time either) so no signs as such apart from sore boobs but I can manage with that!!!

I need To go to the doctors - I have a history of miscarriage but so scared about "making it real" if that makes sense!! I so want to tell my partner but I'm worried about his reaction!

Any advice gratefully received x