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So scared about having a stillborn

(12 Posts)
Happyandhungry Thu 30-Mar-17 18:05:32

I have about zero luck in general in life. We tried for a baby for 5 years with no luck then somehow randomly got pregnant after a holiday away! And now I'm 38 weeks. I've had what i feel is a very easy pregnancy I've had no issues really at all, no morning sickness etc, strong heartbeart and good baby movements however i have got this fear that if i go overdue I'll likely have a stillborn and i dont know why. I have a high BMI although i am healthy and baby is apparently perfect (we've had 6 scans including 1 private early scan) but i can't get the fear out of my head about the cord being round the neck etc etc. Am i being ridiculous?!

BakerBear Thu 30-Mar-17 18:09:52

I feel its very common to feel like this.

When i was pregnant with dd 4 years ago i had a friend who was much older than me and had 2 stillborns at full term. She put the fear of god into me by telling me often that i could have a stillborn and not to buy things until baby is actually here etc.

Its also more in the media now about a still born and the SANDS charity is now also very popular.

But i still think the odds of having a stillborn are still very slim.

Kennethwasmyfriend Thu 30-Mar-17 18:11:29

What does your midwife say? Is an induction a possibility for example?

Happyandhungry Thu 30-Mar-17 18:14:26

No she doesn't say much about it but I've been embarrassed to say how i feel when i have no reason really to feel this way and everything has been going really well. I am seeing her again in 2 weeks the day before my due date so maybe at that point if nothing has happened in terms of any labour signs then i might explain how i feel. I thought about going for an elective c section but this will probably be our only baby and its our first so equally i want to try and experience a natural birth.

TheFirstMrsDV Thu 30-Mar-17 18:14:35

YOu say you have zero luck but here you are about to have a baby.
So you are clearly not unlucky are you?

Perhaps your tendency to see the negatives are making it really hard for you to believe anything positive can happen.
Did you develop this as a defence mechanism when you were trying to get pregnant? It must have been really tough trying for that long.

I was very anxious during my last two pregnancies due to the loss of my DD (she was a teenager, not a baby). I had to try hard to keep my head above water and I found hypnobirthing techniques helped A LOT.
I did loads of exercises to help me stop the intrusive thoughts.

As baker says, your feelings are not that unusual flowers

mycatloveslego Thu 30-Mar-17 18:16:32

You're not alone, it's very common to feel like this. I'm 38 weeks too, worry constantly and am a bit obsessive about checking movements. I've no idea why I'm so worried this time, I don't remember thinking about it much the first time around.
It will be such a relief when baby is finally here! Hope all goes well for you. X

DaisyS91 Thu 30-Mar-17 18:19:52

I'm 36 weeks pregnant and feel the same. I just cannot imagine having a live baby at the end of this. It's horrible and also lonely as everyone else around me is so excited for the baby.

RNBrie Thu 30-Mar-17 18:20:19

I had anxiety like this in my pregnancies too. It's quite common and Google is not your friend!!

For the record, my third was born with the cord tightly wrapped around her neck and she's fine. Cord entanglement doesn't mean your baby will be still born and she was really late too.

Have a look at the count the kicks website, that should help ease your mind that your baby will be ok.

Linner83 Thu 30-Mar-17 19:53:15

My daughter was still born last year, I'm
Blessed to be pregnant again and I'm extremely worried I will have another still born child.
All I can say is count the kicks - if you have any concerns you contact your unit and get assessed

RooMama Thu 30-Mar-17 21:35:39

OP you need to tell your midwife about your anxiety. They can put things in place to reassure you that everything is ok, for example arrange a few appointments for fetal heart rate to be monitored. Might also suggest inducing slightly early, etc.

As Linner has said you need to count your kicks and if you feel something is out of sorts, don't be afraid to speak up. The midwives I've dealt with have always said they would much prefer you to be pestering them unnecessarily because you were anxious than you shrug away any concerns and end up at the hospital when its too late and they have to tell you there isn't a heart beat. They deal with anxious mums all day every day... you will not be the worst and you won't be the last.

Happyandhungry Thu 30-Mar-17 21:42:59

Thank you all for your helpful replies flowers

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties Thu 30-Mar-17 21:54:54

I agree with the advice given; speak to your midwife or doctor if your anxiety is taking over your thoughts. Fears over the birth and for your baby are very common. Thinking rationally, it is highly unlikely that your healthy pregnancy will lead to anything other than a healthy baby. You can learn methods of relaxation, mindfulness techniques can be really useful.

Voicing your fears and tackling your anxiety now is the best thing to do. Pre natal anxiety can spill over into anxiety about your newborn's health and well being after the birth which is best avoided.

I hope you can enjoy the rest of your pregnancy flowers

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