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I feel so FAT and ugly

(20 Posts)
TickingTimeBomb2017 Wed 29-Mar-17 19:56:20

Before getting pregnant, I took great pride in my appearance - went to the gym every day, loved clothes, makeup, hair, etc.

Pregnancy has NOT been kind to me. I am only in the second trimester and I've already got a HUGE arse and my face has ballooned. No amount of makeup will address this (obviously). I feel hideous every time I look in the mirror. It's making me very miserable. I've even started avoiding places where I think I will bump into old friends and other people that know me.

I try to eat only when hungry, however I get nausea after 3+ hours of not eating which will only go away if I eat.

How do you ladies cope with body issues while pregnant?

It doesn't help that my DP's ex is skinny as a rake and we have to deal with her often because of his DD.

Happyandhungry Wed 29-Mar-17 20:15:23

Who cares? Its temporary, you're creating a life inside you that i presume is very much wanted and loved so focus on that. Who cares about weight? I am 38 weeks I've put on 20 pounds but i know most of that is baby and waters etc and I'll lose the rest later. Just be confident i am sure you're a beautiful pregnant lady flowers

Lovechild2016 Wed 29-Mar-17 20:27:04

OP i sympathise. I was all like oh yeah I going to go to the gym all the way through my pregnancy and be really fit and healthy and have a great diet. I've been once to the gym which was a disaster as threw up and my diet is white bread. I feel saggy and pale and spotty.

You are in good company and at the end we will have lovely babies and it will be worth it. It is so much harder than I expected. The people who matter won't give a shit what you look like though and yes one day in the distant future we will get back in shape and look great again. Some people have told me I look great with the extra weight and glowing (sweaty) skin so I think a lot of it is perspective as I feel like a tramp!

TickingTimeBomb2017 Wed 29-Mar-17 20:43:26

I feel saggy and pale and spotty.

Yep sad My hair is shit too.

I think I'm finding these changes so hard because taking pride in my appearance is a core part of my personality. So now it feels like my body does not match who I am.

AssassinatedBeauty Wed 29-Mar-17 20:59:03

Maybe it's a good time to look at whether basing your personality around what you look like is worth changing? I don't think it's healthy long term. What you look like is one of the least important things about you as a person.

There are reasons for all the changes to your body. You're not fat, you're body is making a baby and some parts of your body have to change to do that. You haven't got fat because you've just decided to do no exercise and eat more than normal. It's all for a very good reason.

Old friends and other people that know you will be able to tell the difference between being pregnant and having put on a bit of weight. And even if they did think you'd put on some weight, if they're the kind of person that would think badly of you because of it then they're really not worth bothering with.

Mollyboom Wed 29-Mar-17 21:08:43

I feel your pain, there seems to be some kind of taboo about expressing these feelings, as if somehow it is unmaternal. I hated pregnancy I hated not being able to strut around with attitude because I was waddling in wide ugly sketchers. There is no shame in admitting that you don't like being fat etc. I love my children but I'm not one of those who sees stretch marks as some kind of badge of honour. Anyway OP, I was back to pre pregnancy weight fairly quickly with no stretch marks or spaniels ears. You can do it for a few months xx

DirtyDancing Wed 29-Mar-17 21:21:25

I just wanted to say I sympathise. I was not exactly a skinny mini by any means prior to pregnancy, but I ran twice a week and tried to keep my weight down.

With my first baby I put on 3 stone and had terrible water retention. Puffy face, fingers and feet. Awful. I gave up running almost as soon as I found out I was pregnant as I was too tired in the first trimester

I'm now pregnant with my second and I haven't put on as much weight, but still enough. I'm not as puffy as I am drinking loads of water, but I defo have a fatter face.

Thing is, I learnt from no1 is that you will go back to 'normal' and part of it is some women do just put on weight and have some of these issues in pregnancy.

All I can advise is walk as much as possible to keep moving, and do some gentle yoga. It will make you feel better. Try and plan your meals a bit so your are eating a bit better and drink lots of water.

But main advice is to accept yourself for who you are- a beautiful and very lucky Mamma to

Sparklyuggs Wed 29-Mar-17 21:26:34

Yup, I used to look nice and now I look like a mess. Even when i do my hair, make up and put on a nice dress I still get told I look tired...

I'm trying to keep up my beauty stuff for my own sake but I keep telling myself that the changing body shape is temporary and I can lose the weight afterwards and get my fitness back.

KittyWindbag Thu 30-Mar-17 03:28:32

Make sure you're eating enough calories, when you eat, please don't punish yourself. You're growing a baby that requires a lot of energy! You've got about double the blood you used to have now to mentione extra fluid and fat in your bun to enable breastfeeding later on. It's all to nourish your baby. Try to see it that way.

You might find in a few weeks the tables turn and you absolutely love the way you look. I felt horrendous and ugly in first and beginning of 2nd trimester. Am in 3rd now and I'm loving my hair, which was awful and has suddenly turned fab, my skin has gone from hormonal spots to clear and glowing and I sort of love my bouncy round firm body. Embrace yourself. And for goodness sake don't compare yourself to an ex!

CluelessMummy Thu 30-Mar-17 03:56:06

Sorry to state the obvious OP but you are not fat - you are pregnant! I was the size of a whale during my pregnancy and like you I take pride in my appearance, but I actually felt quite liberated by it all by the end. It's been the one time I've ever got into a swimsuit on the beach and not felt self-conscious! I quite enjoyed the anonymity of people looking at the bump rather than feeling like they were scrutinising ME. I know it probably feels like you've lost a bit of yourself but you're going to have a beautiful baby at the end of it all. And PLEASE don't starve yourself. That doesn't work in helping you lose weight, pregnant or not. And you are growing a little person so you do need the calories!

TheDowagerCuntess Thu 30-Mar-17 06:16:56

I sympathise - DD is 6 and a half now (closer in height to an 8YO), and our combined weight is still less than it was the day before I went in to get induced!

I ballooned and felt terrible, especially towards the end.

All I can say is, this will pass. It feels interminable, but really, it passes in the blink of an eye.

SarahOoo Thu 30-Mar-17 08:19:10

I'm 39 weeks and I've just accepted it. You're pregnant and nothing you can do will change it. As well as as feeling crap for most of the past 9 months my legs swelled up which meant I couldn't wear my boots, my face and my nose are huge (my nose!!?!) and I have carpel tunnel in my hands so have constant pins and needles in my fingers which makes putting make up on a challenge.

Stretch marks are now coming through thick and fast...yay!

"Comparison is the thief of joy" so sod the fact that the ex is 'skinny'. We all have our hang ups, she may have her own and finding it hard that you and her ex are now having a baby.

DirtyDancing Thu 30-Mar-17 14:06:21

Sarah my nose has grown too!!! Why?!

SarahOoo Thu 30-Mar-17 16:09:19

I don't know!! I did google it though and can happen haha!! I bloody hope it goes back down though grin

DirtyDancing Thu 30-Mar-17 19:48:15

grin me too or this could be an expensive pregnancy if it ends up in a nose job confused

DaisyS91 Sat 01-Apr-17 09:39:56

I was really excited about getting a bump but at 36 weeks the novelty has really really worn off. I feel like those people on 600lb life who just have a bit of fabric draped over them to keep their dignity. Fashion and clothes has always been such a big part of my life 😭😭😭. Also OH didn't help this morning by saying "Daisy you look unnatural" just as I left the house for the day 😬😬😬. I never appreciated how lucky I was to have a body that I liked before

hmcAsWas Sat 01-Apr-17 09:48:30

I agree with Assassinated Beauty's first paragraph. What are you going to do when you start ageing given the inevitable physical changes that accompany that?

Just concentrate on trying to have a healthy pregnancy with good nutrition and rest when you need to, rather than on what you look like

SummerRayne17 Sun 02-Apr-17 07:47:22

I feel your pain! I have gone from a toned size 8 to a 14 and feel grim! I am suffering dreadfully with SPD and exercise is impossible, so I have had to cancel my gym membership. By mid afternoon everyday, i have swollen legs, ankles and feet (working at a desk really doesn't help!!) I also can't sleep for more than 1.5hrs in one go at night, due to pain. On the plus side though, my hair has grown loads and my skin is good, DH reckons I have the pregnancy glow, even though inside I feel like crap! Lol. I just keep reminding myself that all this is only temporary, and i will lose weight again, be out of pain and come out the other side, with a beautiful little baby as well smile.

Urglewurgle Sun 02-Apr-17 18:08:45

Oh God, you read my mind!

I used to be a toned size 10 but am now a flabby, spotty, rashy, bloated 14. I'm only 15 weeks but just feel so miserable with how I look. A few people have said 'oh look, you're showing!' but I'm not, I'm just fat and can't suck it in any longer!

I know looks are not what's important but still, I feel blah. We've just moved house and I'm starting to feel a bit better so hopefully back to the gym and less white carbs! Although I am missing my weight training.

ZippyG Mon 03-Apr-17 02:37:46

You are NOT fat and NOT ugly!!!
You are bound to gain some weight... You have a whole human growing inside you!! Do light exercises if it may make you feel better... But hunni, you are going to get bigger... Its the curse of a woman!!
Ragrding the eating try having smaller portions. Eat often and regularly...
Forget what his ex looks like she's an ex for a reason... Just try remember once this is by with you will have a beautiful baby...

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