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Self-care while parent terminally ill

(3 Posts)
Chloris33 Mon 27-Mar-17 22:18:10

Just wanted to get some thoughts on self-care during a tough time. My Dad was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer a few months into my pregnancy. He has about a year to live. I'm 19 weeks now and have a 2 year old too. Trying to remember that I'm pregnant. I want there to be space for joy for this baby. I'm giving a lot in caring for my 2 year old too. My part time nanny just quit -I'm really upset as DC loves her. I need to think about self-care in the midst of this, for my little ones' sake, too. Any ideas? x

crapfatbanana Mon 27-Mar-17 22:55:47

Try to set aside five or ten minutes just to quietly lie and focus on the baby. Maybe buy a small notebook and just write a couple of paragraphs or sentences each day, purely pregnancy focused. I don't know if you keep a diary already, but perhaps a pregnancy notebook could just be a place to keep happy thoughts, like a gratitude book?

Buy something really nice and pampering like a body lotion or oil and indulge yourself. Talk to the baby while you rub lotion into your bump.

Just a small conscious acknowledgement each day, allowing yourself to experience pleasure without guilt amidst the stresses and strains.

Frazzle76 Mon 27-Mar-17 23:04:16

I was caring for my terminally ill mum when I found out I am pregnant. (Now 37 weeks) I practically ignored the baby until mum had gone. But I did find that when I had insomnia in the middle of the night I would lie in bed and hug my (totally flat) tummy and tell the baby stories of her grandparents who would love her so much but she'd never get to meet. I'm hoping at some point to write some of these things down into a notebook for her so she knows something about them and that in the midst of all the pain she was a ray of light to us all. I hope this helps somewhat. Stay positive and sending love x

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