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Hiding early pregnancy

(23 Posts)
FluffyEwok Wed 22-Mar-17 20:33:56

Im 5 weeks and 4 days. First pregnancy after 18 months ttc. Im trying to hide it as much as I can but some of my work has had to be swapped. Ive got a friends bday coming up and it would be weird if i didnt go but i need an excuse. Anyone in the same boat?

Kas1362 Wed 22-Mar-17 20:50:24

Hiya, same for me - I'm 6 + 2. So far I've given in and told my manager because I was off sick once or twice, and my in-laws because of an early mother's day celebration (would usually be downing a glass or two of prosecco), but it's so hard keeping it from everyone else because I'm feeling super tired/sick so much of the time.
Personally, I'd give the old antibiotics excuse for your friend's birthday - wouldn't have worked with my MIL because she's a former midwife and would have spotted the excuse a mile off, but for everyone else it just might!
Congrats, by the way smile

10Betty10 Wed 22-Mar-17 20:54:51

You could always go with the classic- 'I have cystitis' excuse for your friend's birthday. I used that in early stages of pregnancy and nobody questioned it as alcohol is pretty much the worst thing for aggravating cystitis. Women would totally get that. And men won't push you on it because 'lady illnesses' tend to terrify them!

FluffyEwok Wed 22-Mar-17 20:55:30

Congrats to you. Most of my mates are HCP so couldnt say antiobiotics. Im going out Sat but driving and using work as an excuse. Sunday im with different people so will say hungover from Saturday.

10Betty10 Wed 22-Mar-17 20:55:33

Drink cranberry juice at the party to further back up said excuse!

DinosaurFanGirl Wed 22-Mar-17 20:56:31

Also the antibiotics excuse doesn't always work as most antibiotics you can continue to have alcohol... it's recommended that you don't drink whilst you're ill which is where the confusion lays. You may then have friends asking what's wrong or being like "you can still drink" which was what I was faced with. X

FluffyEwok Wed 22-Mar-17 20:57:11

I might just say im away that weekend instead x

Laura2507 Wed 22-Mar-17 20:59:21

I told my friends as soon as I got BFP. I figured if anything went wrong I would tell them anyway so I would want their support.
I have chosen to do this on my own though so I guess with not having partner support I am seeking it from friends and family.

I did want to keep it quiet from work, mostly because I wouldn't have told colleagues if I had an early miscarriage as it was too private. However I've had severe sickness and had a number of sick days and adjustments made and in the end I told most colleagues by 11 weeks as again I needed their support rather than getting stressed that they may be thinking I'd gone all flaky on them.

I do think there is a culture of keeping it secret from everyone for first 12 weeks but I think it can be a bit OTT. Most people usually guess by changes in behaviour anyway!

FluffyEwok Wed 22-Mar-17 21:05:02

Im a private person so want to avoid people knowing. Ive not got any symptoms either really yet

Emma2803 Wed 22-Mar-17 21:35:01

Your on metronidazole for an abcess in your mouth!!! You definitely can't drink with that (Pharmacist!!)

FluffyEwok Wed 22-Mar-17 21:39:21

grin

AuntieStella Wed 22-Mar-17 21:46:59

Saying antibiotics is tantamount to an announcement- no one really believes it.

Fake drinking often works - accept a glass, put to your lips from time to time then tip away or swop with DH from time to time. No-one really cares (or indeed notices) how much you are drinking, just so long as you look as if you're joining in and acting much as younusually do.

Or drink plain tonic - people will just assume the gin is there.

Or be designated driver - and complain that you're not drinking.

FluffyEwok Wed 22-Mar-17 21:59:16

I think ill just make an excuse and not go. Theylll be shots going round and things get a bit rough.

Sparklyuggs Wed 22-Mar-17 22:03:32

I either didn't go, said I had cystitis or had just had a bout of norovirus so didn't feel up to drinking. I had Hyperemesis though so ended up telling most of my friends early.

FluffyEwok Thu 23-Mar-17 15:08:14

Thanks guys. I dont feel pregnant really confused boobs sore on and off and have been having a wee overnight but thats it. Im concerned im not even pregnant

Emma2803 Thu 23-Mar-17 15:57:53

Don't worry, I never really had any symptoms as such other than a massive belly and swollen ankles!!

FluffyEwok Thu 23-Mar-17 16:04:16

I just cant believe im pregnant after 18 months ttc and on waiting list for ivf. It seems too good to be true.

10Betty10 Thu 23-Mar-17 20:55:43

If it makes you feel any better, I think it's quite common to feel disbelief when pregnant. I'm 23 weeks, have a huge bump, feel baby movement, have had multiple scans and sometimes I still don't genuinely believe I'm pregnant. I think it's some weird 'I don't want to get too excited just in case I'm wrong' thing!

dinosaurkisses Thu 23-Mar-17 21:00:07

I told people I was off the drink for lent - a lot of people here (Ireland) tend to use lent as a second attempt at new year resolutions so it was actually very successful!

FluffyEwok Thu 23-Mar-17 22:41:22

Thanks guys. I actually have got a bump when im naked and lines on test are very positive. Im small framed so i think ill show earlyconfused terrified is an understatement

Frillyhorseyknickers Fri 24-Mar-17 07:35:53

Im 13+5 and I feel as though I'm in the awkward stage where people wonder whether you are pregnant or just fat.

I'm a massive drinker and pretty much every excuse is out for me - I will happily drink on cystitis.

I've told quite a few people now as we've had the scan and to my disbelief there is a little person in there. However, after "dry January" 🙄 I disappeared from the social scene and stayed inside. I literally ate, slept and worked for Feb and half of march. 😬

Good luck - completely normal to have anxiety all the way up to your scan.

Orangedaisy Fri 24-Mar-17 07:43:32

Congratulations! A friend of mine came to my hen do and wedding whilst early pregnant and basically just held a drink without touching it for both events. Which were massively booze-laden. By not making any statement or fuss nobody noticed at all. I take my hat off to her managing that as my personality would force me to make excuses, but might be worth you considering this approach.

FluffyEwok Fri 24-Mar-17 08:17:30

6 weeks tomorrow. Think i look big grin

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