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Can I have a hand hold?(3 Posts)
I find MN pregnancy forum a place of real comfort so I wondered if I could just let my feelings out on here?
On Sunday I had a melt down. I'm not coping well with pregnancy and it all just came a bit much and I self harmed for the first time in years and years. I just can't cope with the constant thinking about my baby dying and nothing I have tried can take my mind off it. It's exhausting and affecting my sleep and my relationships. Now I'm so worried about what the midwife will say if she sees anything.
I have been promised help with my mental health since sixteen weeks and I haven't had any. I am now 35 weeks. I have asked my GP for help so many times and the midwife but it never gets beyond form filling in. I'm so tired and would just love an hour or two when I'm not thinking about being pregnant or to be able to enjoy making baby purchases. Sorry for the essay just feel really alone in rl
I'm so sorry you're struggling so much Jessie. Please don't worry what the midwife thinks but please do talk to her about how you're feeling. It is so important that you are able to get some support in place as soon as possible. Are there are mental health services you can self-refer to? My local trust has services where you can phone up yourself and they will assess what support is appropriate over the phone. Also it might help to see your GP again too and explain how you're anxiety has increased. Are there any local ante/postnatal depression peer support groups in your area as they may also be useful? You're not on your own, so many women struggle with anxiety in pregnancy. Sending you hugs xxx
Oh Jessie I'm so sorry to see this - I think I have been on some of your other threads... I am sorry you are not getting the support you need from the mental health teams... You really have to be a pain in the arse with them in my experience and it's sometimes just too hard to do that when you are struggling day to day...
Pregnancy is a massive deal at the best of times, when you are not feeling altogether well on top of the usual pregnancy worries it is hellish. I had a similar experience to you in my first pregnancy and was really unwell. It seemed to me that there was so much to worry about and I just didn't feel able or ready to cope with it.
If your midwife sees that you have hurt yourself then she sees it - it can't harm your case for further mental health support, even at this late stage of your pregnancy. You shouldn't feel like you have to hide your feelings in any event.
When do you next see your midwife or GP? You really do need some support urgently... Is there anyone in RL who could speak for you / make a PITA of themselves for you to help you get the support?
I am sure you have heard of these guys already but just in case, here is a link to the PANDAS website - www.pandasfoundation.org.uk/ they give pre and post natal mental health support - I am not sure if they can be of any help to you.
I know it seems like forever away but you really only have a few weeks left now - you are on the home straight. Soon your lovely baby will be here and then the fun begins! Don't put too much pressure on yourself about baby purchases either - they really don't need very much to start with and you can buy things as you need them.
I remember being as high as a kite after DC was born - I was so delighted to meet him and so in love with him and I was also so absolutely delighted to not be pregnant anymore! It was like a dark cloud lifted from me and I felt on top of the world!
Please keep talking - there is always someone on MN to help and support you.
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