Got my BFP and going on a hen party this weekend...?(13 Posts)
Unexpectedly got my BFP yesterday - so thrilled but SO overwhelmed
DH is working away for 2 weeks and not really contactable (he's in the forces) but I'm happy to wait and tell him as I want to do it face to face.
However, I'm going away this weekend to Marrakech for a hen party - I am nervous about saying I can't have a drink and also I can't go in the hamman, which we've planned to do. What excuse can I use? The bride is one of my best and oldest friends and I know I'll look like a spoilsport but I feel I can't tell them until I've told DH (and I wouldn't tell anyone before 12 weeks anyway I think).
Any advice? X
To be honest I would tell the bride the truth.
This is her special time and she would be very hurt if she thought you weren't on board with the events.
Just explain it to her and ask her to keep it to herself as she will be very happy for you and also there to support you.
First off; congrats!!!!
Secondly; you cab hide this if you want to. I got my bfp tye day before my own hen (weekend in Alton Towers). The trick with the booze is to have an alcoholic drink which you conveniently allow to be poured into the nearest plantpot/empty glass/loo. Something with a coke or lemonade mjxer so you can order plain coke many times.
Wrt the Hamman can you do a little online research and see what facilities they have there? Possibly you could change and go into it with everyone and after 5 mins or so fein a headache or dizzyness and come out/go to a rooftop pool or cooler area? I hate saunas and steam rooms so wouldnt have lastes longer thab 5 mins even not pregnant.
Another option (I did this at 7 weeks preg at another hen) is to have one person there in the know and have them switch drinks. Get yourself into a Round with them and each buy a G&T and a Just T or similar. Or you nurse your Prosecco and once theyve drank half of theirs the swap so you look like youve drunk some? My friend even got me a shot of water when we did a round of Sambuccas.
Thanks for the replies. Yes another thing was that I didn't want to make it about me - it's her special weekend!
I would tell the bride too. Better that than animosity over the yep because she thinks you're not joining in properly. I understand wanting to tell DH first but he would understand given the circumstances I'm sure.
Not giving it away to the rest of the party is probably best done like napqueen says and have alcoholic drinks poured for you, then discreetly dispose of them. You can wander about with them and tip them into nearby sinks, flowerpots etc as you go. And if you're ordering drinks order yourself a soft drink.
It's always a total giveaway as soon as you say you're not drinking, people will be guessing. Better to feign a tummy bug and say you're not planning on drinking heaps, but you'll have a few (then tip them out).
Congratulations on the BFP!
I'd be honest with your friend in advance of the hen weekend and ask her to keep it a secret, you don't want to fall out with her if she thinks you're spoiling her time. It's easy for these things to blow up in the run up to a wedding which would be bad for you both.
I thought I hid it well at Christmas when I went to a friend's for a party. I had a great excuse about being on strong antibiotics and couldn't drink but I had avoided certain foods I would have usually eaten. She was quite funny with me until she finally realised, 2 months after me announcing I was pregnant, why I was avoiding certain things and not drinking during her party.
Congratulations! I would tell the bride, it won't detract from her as much as being awkward Annie who refuses to do stuff for no apparent reason. I went to a wedding at 8 weeks, my best friend knew and helped do drinks swapping, and I came down with a stomach bug three days before the wedding to the rest of my friends and explained I was still feeling ropey thus the not drinking much, eating bland food etc. Try not to worry too much, once you tell people they'll put two and two together, but having someone onside definitely helped as she'd change the subject, not question me etc.
Tell her you have a tooth abcess and you're on metronidazole..
You can't drink a drop on that antibiotic! It's nasty stuff!
I think you can also hide. Unless you go into massive details the antibiotics story is always a clear give away for pregnancy. Best bet I think is to not draw attention to it. Have the glass of prosecco of champagne and pretend to drink from it but hide or take to loos when you can. Take a bottle of sparkling water in your bag and swap the liquid if you can and then be visibly drinking. If you refuse alcohol people will notice but if you're not taken real sips no one will.
At a Christmas do I went to I didn't have any alcohol but everyone remembered me drinking loads!
Sauna will be harder. I agree with post before that said go in a for a minute and feign a headache. Maybe you can say you're on your period and feeling a bit meh? And then just leave and read magazines in the waiting room and just don't make a big deal of it.
I went on holiday recently while still in early stages of pregnancy. I did the drink trick, accept, pretend to dip then get rid. Shots of water. Spirit and mixer minus the spirit. I did have a cold so used that for not going mad with the drinks, no own blinked. I also went into steam room, lasted 5 minutes then went to the pool. I totally understand you not wanting to tell the bride before your other half and not wanting to rain on her parade.
I went on a work course, the culmination of which was a residential. We'd looked forward to celebrating the end with lots of drinks but I found out I was pregnant on the first day! I ended up pretending and no one noticed, I'd buy a red wine, have a sip then swap with a non alcoholic drink.
If you choose to give a non pregnant friend your drinks beware...I got so drunk doing that for someone a few years ago!
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