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Labour fears

(22 Posts)
Blackberrybakewell Thu 09-Mar-17 17:04:28

I'm 38+5, first baby.

Up until now I've had a fairly pragmatic attitude to labour, millions of women have done it before me, it's what my body is built for etc. I plan to start in the pool and would love a water birth if possible but if I need it I'm fine with an epidural. I've been reading about hypnobirthing and listening to a cd, taking my raspberry leaf tea and evening primrose oil, even got an epi-no to attempt to help with my fear of episiotomies. I'm aware it's going to hurt but thought I was strong enough to deal with it.

But...now labour is impending I've suddenly become absolutely terrified! I may also have been watching too many episodes of one born every minute, I found it interesting earlier in pregnancy to see how things can go (obvs heavily edited) but I've stopped watching it because I can't deal with the screaming and the fear on the women's faces and knowing that one day very soon that's going to be me. The labour horror stories that people have told me are coming back into my head, plus all the things that people say about 'you don't know what's coming' with a stupid smirk on their faces. Well if course I don't know, I've never done it before, not helpful!

Anyone feeling the same? Any words of wisdom to calm me down? Positive birth stories? Ways to make these last days not so horrendous? Help!

Pitchforktotheface Thu 09-Mar-17 17:43:23

Yep, felt the same. Was fine about it, then really wasn't. I think it's pretty normal.

At the end of the day, baby has to come out. Some of my friends had awful labours yet still had more kids.

YouJumpIJumpJack Thu 09-Mar-17 17:50:17

Well it's not going to be fun but what helped me was just thinking about my first cuddle with baby. Also, remembering that with each contraction you're one step closer.

And if you're struggling with the pain you know there's always pain relief on offer (I had every single thing on offer).

I know it's hard not to feel scared but that pain won't last forever.

Hope you get to meet your baby very soon smile

ethelfleda Thu 09-Mar-17 17:54:56

I don't know if this helps but my Mom's labour stories are very positive. She was three sheets to the wind when she had my sister (this was obviously before they started to advise that pregnant women shouldn't drink)
She felt a few twinges and went to the hospital just in case. She apologised to the nurse as she didnt even think she was in labour and she wasn't in a lot of pain. My sister appeared an hour later, apparently! She gave birth to 5 children in total and all stories were similar!

ILikeSalmon Thu 09-Mar-17 18:06:52

I'm 38 weeks and absolutely scare day about the labour
I've already had 2 kids and they wet every relatively straight forward and quick births (under 5 hours in total)
Yet I can't forget the horrible horrible pain.
I stupidly watched a One Born Every Minute the other day and it's made me even not want scared :-(

drinkyourmilk Thu 09-Mar-17 18:39:13

Hypnobirthing is definitely the way forward for me.
Try watching YouTube videos of hypnobirths
I've been practicing my breathing, discussing how my partner can help- simple things like a very gentle massage or resting his hands on my shoulders to help me relax, and when I'm feeling worried even now I try to find my happy place where I feel calm and in control.
Also- there are drugs. Fuck loads of drugs they can give you to help. I'm going in with the breathing and tens etc- but make no mistake if I feel out of control I'll be asking for drugs!

SittingAround1 Thu 09-Mar-17 18:54:14

My strategy was to try not to think about it beforehand. Even when in labour i tried to think of other things between contractions and to stay as calm as possible.

Basically it might be easy for you or it might be a total nightmare- you just don't know. I had an episotomy which was totally fine. Recovered well as well.

SittingAround1 Thu 09-Mar-17 18:55:49

Oh yes drugs. Take all the drugs-they are good!

Wolfiefan Thu 09-Mar-17 19:02:13

I think shows like that show the dramatic births.
I expected to be screaming and panicking. In truth I laboured at home with my first and only went in 2 1/2 hours before birth. I had a lovely calm water birth.
good luck.

NotWithoutMyMerkin Thu 09-Mar-17 19:04:13

Positive birth story - so positive that I was desperate to do it again but had to have an emergency section at 34 weeks with dd2.
Waters wentjust past midnight on due date. Contractions started at 2am. Tens and paracetamol. From the get go they came every 45 seconds to a minute. Laboured at home until 6:30 when we went to hospital (at my husbands insistence - I was all for waiting as I was told they needed to be a minute long and mine were only lasting 45 seconds). Into the birth centre where they struggled to get my blood pressure as I couldn't sit still/down as the contractions were coming so fast and my coping mechanism was to March up and down doing jazz hands and singing jingle bells. Quick examination revealed I was 7cm and transitioning which is why I felt a bit frantic. Into the pool and it all calmed down. Dd born at 9am in the pool. Calm, lovely and absolutely euphoric afterwards. It was difficult but not due to pain, I'd probably say it was intense more than anything else. Honestly I'd do it again in a heartbeat. You need to try and beat the fear if you can- the body needs hormones to labour and fear stops them and you can end up fighting against your own body. I really recommend Ina mays guide to childbirth to help

annlee3817 Thu 09-Mar-17 19:29:15

I was on my feet for a lot of my labour which I think may have helped me to progress so quickly. 3 1/2 hours after my first contraction I was ready to push. It does hurt but you know there is an end to it, whether that's opting for pain relief or whether it's the relief once the baby is born. I still say the worst pain for me is tooth ache, feels never ending and sod all you can do about it until you get a dentist appointment and even then they send you away with antibiotics first before they can do the work!

I just kept breathing through, telling myself that each contraction was bringing me closer to meeting my DD. I got in the pool about an hour before starting to push and got out when I was too hot and continued pushing on a huge mat and bean bag on the floor, I wasn't the most effective pusher, took just under two hours but only had a very small tear with stitches which caused me no pain following the birth. Hope that helps, I'm usually a wimp, and using the breathing techniques from hypnobirthing helped me stay calm.

user1488971576 Sun 12-Mar-17 22:07:03

Someone please help me figure out what's going on, I am 39+3 weeks and basically my boyfriend came over today and we had sex but he was on top, but since then I've been in agony in my hips and at the bottom of my tummy my hips hurt so bad I cant walk, I tried to walk to the shop after we finished and I just couldn't I had painkillers and everything in still in agony everytime I move my legs my hips start killing me the baby feels like he sometimes pushes himself outwards but downwards if that makes sense I've been losing my plug the past few days and I am just at 2cm dilated, I get really painful uncomfortable Braxton hicks as well but I don't know what this is I went to have a bath about half hour ago and fainted on my bathroom floor but I've been taking iron tablets so they kicked in about a week ago, I threw up before I fainted I have no idea what's happening should I phone the midwife 😞

sweetchilli77 Sun 12-Mar-17 23:07:03

to the above poster
Ever thought you maybe in labour ?

user1488971576 Sun 12-Mar-17 23:11:14

I don't know because I'm not having regular contractions or anything

ruthieruthuk Sun 12-Mar-17 23:51:19

Try not to over think about it, just go with your body and the hospital will do the rest, as scary as it is it will be over before you know it.

Im pregnant with my 4th child so it really isn't that bad, yes its painful i wont lie to you, but your giving birth to another human bean.

All the best xx

user1488971576 Mon 13-Mar-17 10:22:32

I'm so nervous he's due in 4 days its really freaking me out the closer I get to my dd, I don't know why I'm panicking so badly but I'm way to scared about this 😞 I'm worried about talking to my mw because im having a sweep on my dd but im 1-2cm dilated its real slow but I've got such bad period pains today woke up this morning and its been on and of, between my thighs just ache so bad and my hips hurt to much to walk haven't had that this pregnancy its strange

Scottishweddinghelp Mon 13-Mar-17 10:45:33

Totally normal to be terrified! I was so ready to have baby out at about 37 weeks and then by 39, I freaked about the birthing process and the reality of a little one ... this happened with my first and second and probably will happen again as I've got #3 (an final hopefully) on the way smile. But when it began it felt normal and I relaxed and settled into it. When it got more difficult I just kept thinking, "it'll be over soon", "it's not going to last forever", "there is an end in sight" etc.

Take a deep breath, and stick that nervous energy into some 'nesting' smile.

Leopard12 Mon 13-Mar-17 10:48:01

izzieandtheo.wordpress.com/
Not mine but a positive pool birth story

user1488971576 Mon 13-Mar-17 10:52:29

I've been scrubbing and bleaching the whole house for two days straight Its so strange I'm normally quite a sit down and take my time person but its been crazy, now I'm in to much pain to do anything 😞 I'm just glad I cleaned before the pain kicked in this morning x

grounddown Mon 13-Mar-17 10:54:57

I had my first at 38+5 smile
I had 2 really easy births without pain relief but I didn't get any medals OP, it doesn't matter how you have your baby, whether you take all the drugs on offer or give birth in the car park, the baby will come out and you will forget all about it.
Try not to be too concerned about the actual birthing bit, my only advice is to just go with it and do not panic.

The worst bit is not the labour and birth, it's the bit where they give you the baby all wrapped up like a burrito and expect you to take it home and look after it grin

missymousey Mon 13-Mar-17 19:42:05

I agree with pp who said try watching some hypnobirths on youtube - lots of happy relaxed women coping calmly with the contractions, often using the pool, no screaming or fuss. One born every minute is definitely not the norm!

user1488971576 Fri 17-Mar-17 15:41:54

Has anyone else on here had a baby and want to share their labour story, I need help taking my mind of things as I was going to have a sweep tomorrow but I went into labour yesterday I'm at 3cm dilated and my "bloody show" has been coming away since 4 this morning and the contractions are absolute hell to handle, midwife thinks ill be back in hospital tonight at some point and I'm nervous 😞

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