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pregnant/ depression.

(3 Posts)
user1488222922 Thu 02-Mar-17 08:00:06

I am 22 and pregnant and I am depressed. I think. I am in my final year of university and feel I am missing out on so much, I can't go clubbing with my friends, go to birthday parties and I am probably going to be missing the university summer ball and graduation ball which I was so looking forward to.
I just wake up every morning thinking about what I am missing out on.
I feel guilty for feeling this way.

thisgirldid Mon 06-Mar-17 15:07:38

Hi - i just wanted to say, I'd love to give you a big hug. I found my first pregnancy SO HARD. I had pre-natal depression and was a mess for most of it. But it must be especially hard when you're young (I don't mean that in a patronising way, I'm just old!) and the baby wasn't planned (I'm guessing). Don't feel guilty at all. All of these messed up, confusing emotions are just part of being pregnant and you can't help them at all. It is totally normally to go through a period of shock and almost grieving for what you feel you're missing out on. It's also really hard to see the positives ahead of you when you have no real concept of what they are. I would say, if you can, try and speak to someone you trust - can you talk to your mum or a sensible close friend? Also, is there a university counselling service? I had counselling through my first pregnancy and it saved me. You might be lucky and there might be something free available on campus for you. It's worth looking into because you need to talk about how you're feeling and get some support. Even though missing the ball and things is a tough break, it doesn't feel like it now but there'll be other opportunities for these fun things in the future. It feels like your life is over, and it's not, it's just taking a different tack for a while. I'm sure there must be a young mums board on here somewhere, so try and find it and find other mums in the same position as you - it is so reassuring to find other people who are experiencing the emotions you are. I'd also really recommend the book Nobody Told Me by Hollie McNish about her experience as a young mum. I found it reassuring reading it recently going through negative emotions in my second pregnancy. Anyway, good luck. And really don't try and go through this alone.

user1480264544 Mon 06-Mar-17 15:17:20

I am 24 and pregnant with baby number 2, After my first I suffererd with depression and thought there was no way out, I can assure you as much as I understand you are missing out on these things you will gain so much more in having a baby! I felt like you I see my friends traveling.. partying etc whilst I'm at home in my pjs by 8 trying to get some me time .. but actually I've realised I would rather be this way.. cuddling up on the sofa hand in hand with my daughter is the only place I need to be now! Having a baby flips your life on its head but the changes are amazing! And plus you still get to go out and have fun .. maybe not so often but when you do it's more enjoyable.. you will. Ale new friends who are also mothers and end up doing different things.what I'm trying to say is having a baby opens up a whole new world for you.. take it from someone who has been exactly where you are you may not see it now but it is one of the best things that can happen in life x

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