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Giving a small gift in the following circumstances

(18 Posts)
StudentMcStudentFace Sat 25-Feb-17 18:19:50

So I'm student midwife, and I've started caseloading women. One of the women I'm seeing is nearly due. I want to get her a small gift, but I'm not sure what?

Also, do you think it would be odd? She doesn't have to let me caseload her, and I've really enjoyed getting to know her and following her through her journey so far. Just want to show my appreciation.

Somehow I'm not sure a snot sucker quite gives over a certain sentiment of thanks.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sat 25-Feb-17 18:53:31

Sounds kind but unnecessary. Would you feel more comfortable with a card thanking her and wishing her luck? Are there any professional restrictions on this sort of thing?

PotteringAlong Sat 25-Feb-17 18:55:40

When I had my first child we were part of the family study for the first year medical students at the local university. When he was born they gave me a card and a pack of babygro's and I was really touched.

CurlyCallie Sat 25-Feb-17 19:01:01

How small of a gift are you thinking? When the supermarkets do "baby events" you can pick up a johnsons toiletry box for around £12 or the mum to be/new mum pamper bag (lotions, bubble bath etc) for the same, maybe less? Just a thought xx

archersfan22 Sat 25-Feb-17 19:08:36

Definitely check with your supervisors about professional boundaries first. I would have thought a card might be enough?

OnTheUp13 Sat 25-Feb-17 19:16:11

I received a card from my midwife and what she wrote in it was better than any gift

StudentMcStudentFace Sat 25-Feb-17 19:21:40

archers see when we've had the boundaries talk, it's been around the use of social media and contact outside of a professional context. However, it's an odd thing to caseload, I do feel the boundaries can blur a smidge. Don't get me wrong, I'm not planning on becoming BFF's.

However on my part, it feels an immense privilege to see someone through their journey to parenthood. To just say 'see ya' when her care ends feels a bit anti climatic. I suppose part of me just wants to mark it in a small way.

StudentMcStudentFace Sat 25-Feb-17 19:26:15

I think maybe a nice card and something for baby might strike the balance. I just didn't want to be weird.

Poorlybabysickday Sat 25-Feb-17 19:29:05

One of our student doctors at my work got my dd a jelly cat teddy and some baby grows. I was so touched, and I will never forget her because of that smile

ReturnToWorkSoon Sat 25-Feb-17 19:30:25

I think it's a lovely idea and very thoughtful of you! If you want to & it's permitted a pack of babygrows or pyjamas would be greatly appreciated if it were me.

Supermarkets all have cute ranges at reasonable costs.

ReturnToWorkSoon Sat 25-Feb-17 19:31:44

Woops meant to say or a book! Reading to a new baby is lovely. I adored getting books for my DC. He's still so young that he's only interested in the textures ones that he can interact with so we have a lovely range of that and other books

RuckingMarvellous Sat 25-Feb-17 19:32:26

I'm a midwife and I caseload women, working on call for them. I personally would not do this. However if I was set on it, then no more than A card. Professional relationship and boundaries are even more important when caseloading. Best wishes

BikeRunSki Sat 25-Feb-17 19:36:18

A card would be nice and wouldn't be inappropriate. Anything more would be a grey area of different people interpretation of appropriateness and boundaries.

StudentMcStudentFace Sat 25-Feb-17 19:41:35

Bike I suppose thats why I wanted to gauge it on here as to appropriateness of a gift or lack of one.

drinkyourmilk Sat 25-Feb-17 21:24:43

Can I ask how it works the other way round please?
I'm under a specialist midwifery team, and my midwife has gone above and beyond as far as I am concerned. Without her I don't think I could have coped with my pregnancy as well as I have. She has never failed to answer a text, and really takes her time.
I will obviously write a card thanking her and being specific. Would a box of chocolates cut it? Or something more personal? I know she knits so could get a couple of balls of nice wool.

sycamore54321 Sat 25-Feb-17 22:47:00

I wouldn't like to receive a gift from a healthcare professional in those circumstances. It is overstepping a mark.

I would be worried if I were you about the quality of your course. Before you are in clinical contact with patients, you should be crystal clear on ethical questions like this one. I'd advise you to tell your tutors that you feel unprepared for this situation and that the class should have further guidance on these issues.

A token gift in the other direction, from patient to midwife, would not pose the same concerns. However I'd avoi anything too personal - the relationship is supposed to be professional. If it starts blurring into friendship, then that could compromise your quality of care and your midwife's objectiveness.

CatchingBabies Sat 25-Feb-17 22:59:33

Make sure you check with your university etc. I know we wouldn't be allowed to do this as you have to maintain that boundary, even more so when caseloading as you can become quite involved with one family. A think a thank you card thanking the family for the experience and the privilege of sharing an important moment with them would be lovely and enough.

StudentMcStudentFace Sat 25-Feb-17 23:50:36

Whilst I understand your concerns, I was already feeling a little conflicted about it all hence why I asked here for a womans perspective.

This person and her family are facilitating my learning, they don't have to do it. They've had me following them around for the last several months. In my eyes, the thought was a token gesture of thanks for how they've worked with me and helped me.

However, I have taken on board your points and will just write a nice card out. Thank you for your posts, they've been helpful.

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