Talk

Flip

Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

Pregnant and scared

7 replies

Sea83 · 25/02/2017 07:56

Hi I'm 33 and just found out I'm pregnant and I'm terrified, I can't stop crying. I'm married and it was planned but happened so quickly, I'm worried I'm going to change and stop doing the things I enjoy. I know I should be happy but now I just feel guilty about the negative feelings. I don't know how to cope. Has anyone else get like this?

OP posts:

Report

SaltedCaramelEverything · 25/02/2017 14:01

Firstly congratulations. Secondly I'm sorry you're so upset

I'm guessing in your mind you thought it would take a while so it's a lot to take in? Although it's quick - it's a long time til baby will be here! I was also in shock to get a positive test quickly, particularly after being advised we'd get referred for fertility treatment after 6 months as was expected we'd need that.

How does your DH feel? Is there also someone else you can talk to? Not necessarily your best friend, but maybe someone with a baby / child who can reassure you? I know people usually wait until the first scan, but I think breaking that "rule" is a good idea as you need support now.

I'm 6 months pg and yes I know my life will change. But so many people have told me it's for the better. And once baby is a bit older (I'm talking a few months) I still plan to do things for me. DH / family can babysit.

Report

theclick · 02/03/2017 21:18

This is exactly how I feel. Exactly. I am less anxious now but still sometimes think if I were tonmiscarry would it be the worst? Like you, it was also planned. It just happened much quicker than I expected.

Report

HN42 · 02/03/2017 21:54

Congratulations! Its a lot to take in, I got pregnant first time trying and didn't expect it so it was a total shock as mentally I was expecting it to take a lot longer and very quickly my mind started thinking about how my life was going to change. Pregnancy hormones also don't help with the emotions but you maybe just need to time to absorb the information and get over the shock as a lot will be going through your head right now. It's totally natural to be worried about the journey ahead of you, you don't know how your life is going to change but just give yourself time to absorb. Don't feel pressure to feel happy or excited, I didn't start feeling remotely excited or happy about being pregnant until I was 14 weeks as I had so many worries (and I felt really ill for most of the first trimester) but once I knew all was progressing well and I started to get a bump I more just started to enjoy pregnancy. I'm still terrified of what's coming but part of me is excited too.

Report

Orangebird69 · 02/03/2017 21:57

It's a massive shock. Give yourself some time. I fell at 39. Planned and v much wanted. Tool over a year to conceive. Financially sorted. All good on paper. Totally terrified when it happened. 16mos in now and it's amazing. Exhausting but amazing. Congrats

Report

krakentoast · 02/03/2017 22:14

Yes I know exactly how you feel. To be honest I think it would be weird not to be terrified. It's a big life change!

What has helped me so far is thinking, yes this is a huge change, and it's a world of unknowns, but at the end of the day I personally want to have children. There is never a perfect time, and if I got to 60 years old without having had kids when I had every opportunity, then I would be sad. And so that necessarily means you have got to bit the bullet and do it sometime.

Talk to your partner about it, be honest about your feelings, and see if you can make plans together now to still do things you enjoy once the baby comes and make sure you will still feel like yourself. Also remember that at some point they do grow up and you can do whatever you want again! (I assume. I'm pregnant with my first right now so take my advice with a pinch of salt)

Report

TeaTeaTea · 03/03/2017 19:51

Aww everyone has given such good and perfect advice, how are you feeling now Sea83? I'm 14 weeks pg and have a 15month old. Both pregnancies were planned but happened quicker than expected, first time I tottered between extreme elation and sheer panic. This time around too dog-tired to think!

But as previously said it'd be strange if you weren't scared. It is a big thing but such a wonderful experience. The first trimester can be rough so advise telling a couple of trusted confidants to offload onto, it will help. Try and batten down the hatches and ride out the 1st trimester, fingers crossed by 2nd trimester you'll feel awake and with it again.

Not many days went by when I didn't browse Mumsnet in my last pregnancy for answers, help, advice, HUGS! It was a real help.

Report

Sea83 · 06/03/2017 18:42

Thanks again everyone, TeaTeaTea I am feeling better now, starting to get my head around it, krakentoast you are right looking to the future I can't imagine not having children and there is never a right time. I'm pretty tired at the moment but still trying to get out and have some adventures on my days off even if I have to have more breaks. Thanks again for all the replies it's really helped