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Did anyone else feel the pressure second time around?

(4 Posts)
CurlyCallie Thu 23-Feb-17 16:57:25

Sorry folks this is liable to be a long one lol...
I'm almost 5 months pregnant with baby number 2 (🎉)
So far everything is good with the pregnancy (health wise for me & the baby) but feeling so tired and out of energy the last couple of weeks, by the time hubby comes home i can barely stand up to make the tea! He's brilliant at helping but works long and hard 6 days a week 10 to 12 hours a day so don't like to put on him too much, I already feel like the first thing I do when he comes through the door is moan and winger and I really try not to! I have been suffering with sciatica practically every day the last 4 weeks or so and just started the dreaded heart burn all evening and night 🙈
DS is 20 months now and getting to be a bit of a handful but that wouldn't be a problem if I had the energy to keep up with him or constantly keep him in check if he's playing up. I've got a big family (6 sisters) and they spoiled me when I was expecting the first time, always coming over to do chores, check up on me and spend time with me... not being ungrateful but I kind of wish they'd saved it for second time around cos I hardly see anyone this time lol they've all had kids that are older and in school so sometimes I wonder do they remember how hard it is second time? Then I feel shitty for thinking that and wonder is it just that I can't cope with this?
My in laws are great and always have DS once a week so I can get on top of housework which hasn't been a problem but today I just sat and rested most of the day and did the washing and ironing and now I feel guilty that when they drop him off they'll wonder what the hell ive been doing all day.
Feel like other mums around me and on social media are all like Mary poppins with pristine kids dresses like child models, all done themselves hair done makeup on and the house gleaming all before I've put DS down for a nap! I've started leaving the blinds closed all morning because I'm embarrassed that visitors might drop by while I'm up to my eyes in weetabix and play dough still in our PJs at 11am 🙈
I worry all the time about how I'll cope with a newborn and a toddler if I can't get into gear with a bump and a toddler.

Don't really know what I want tiger from this post other than I don't know who else to vent to? A kick up the bum maybe?

CurlyCallie Thu 23-Feb-17 16:59:49

Haha what I want to get from this post... don't think I really need a tiger 😳🙈

IceLemonGin Thu 23-Feb-17 18:58:42

I'm with you callie! I'm only 15 weeks so don't feel like I'm allowed to complain to anyone. DD is 18 months and I'm exhausted, some days we don't leave the house or get dressed as I just don't have the energy or motivation, especially when the weather is like this.

My house is a tip most days too, I try to tidy once DD is in bed but most of the time I just want to get into bed. I leave the blinds closed too to hide it from the outside world grin

I don't have family close by so it's just me and DH when he's home from work and although he does more than his fair share, I feel the guilt.

Would it be worth sending a message to your sisters? I'm sure they would rally round to help you out if they knew you were struggling, maybe they think you have it all under control?

Don't beat yourself up, it's hard work growing a human AND raising another one at the same time flowers cake

drinkyourmilk Thu 23-Feb-17 19:06:55

I think you are being too hard on yourself. I'm almost 35 weeks with my first, on mat leave, and the house looks a sight!
You are doing considerably better than I am.
Look at it this way- if you just do what you can, while ensuring you rest from time to time too then you won't end up on your knees. Do too much and ignore your body saying 'rest' and you are likely to totally wear yourself out and be unable to do anything.
I second the suggestion to talk to your sisters. Even just general chat saying how much harder it is this time round may spur on some offers of help .

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