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Third trimester with a toddler - how are you coping?

(20 Posts)
mistermagpie Tue 21-Feb-17 19:09:33

I'm 34 weeks pg and have a 19mo DS. He's the absolute light of my life but I'm so tired. I think I'm even more shattered now than the first trimester and literally feel knackered from waking up to going to bed. I can't even blame DS because he's a good sleeper, although he's quite, erm, demanding when he's awake. I'm also working full time.

I don't remember feeling this weary the first time round and am struggling with the idea that it's going to be another six weeks or so. I'm also feeling shit about my parenting skills because my back is killing so I avoid lifting DS if I can, which makes him cross, and I'm a bit half hearted (to put it mildly) about games because I can't get up and down off the floor like I used to. I also hate not seeing him when I'm at work, but then I can't wait til he's in bed so I can have a rest!

Anyone else in my boat? Any words of wisdom or anything?

mistermagpie Tue 21-Feb-17 19:11:40

I fear my thread title may make it sound like I am gestating a toddler... confused

talulahbelle Tue 21-Feb-17 19:12:46

No advice but sympathy, I'm 28 weeks with a toddler DD and it's bloody hard work.

IrnBrufan Tue 21-Feb-17 19:17:15

I'm 35 weeks with a 20 month old and feeling your pain 🙈 it's hard going. I'm juggling work, toddler and being very pregnant and it's a struggle

Chosenbyyou Tue 21-Feb-17 19:19:34

Hey

I am in your boat!! 34 weeks and this week it seems to have hit me along with a cold sad

When are you finishing work? I finish in two weeks time and I actually fine work less tiring than the days I look after toddler normally on my own - 3 days per week.

I don't have much advice but I think not picking up straight away is probably a good thing cuz before I would just pick her up straight away regardless.

I am a worried bout dealing with toddler on they very little new born sleep as I struggled with no sleep last time.

Have you got everything rest? I have tried to be more organised this time but so far don't feel like I am getting very far as I spend all sore time looking after DD and not actually getting things ready lol.

Take care xx smile

Jojo13 Tue 21-Feb-17 19:37:08

You're not alone! 38 weeks here and whilst I have left work and am now luckily getting a couple of days to myself, the days I'm with my toddler are just exhausting! I'm shattered at the end of it and sometimes finding it difficult to think of things to do with him to entertain him whilst not totally knackeringmyself out!

haventgotaclue1 Tue 21-Feb-17 19:45:31

Snap! 34 weeks and have a 26 month old.... My energy levels and tolerance have gone in the opposite direction of her "toddler-isms"....sometimes (most times?) she's great, but when she throws a toddler tantrum or I hear "mummmeeeeeeeee" for the umpteenth time, I really do have to grit my teeth now.

Luckily I finish work on Thursday and for 3 days a week my DC will remain in nursery, so am hoping for some rest-time then....But I do feel like I'm on my last legs now (unlike last time round). Am also wondering what on earth it will be like at 38 weeks etc and how it will be with a newborn....

mistermagpie Tue 21-Feb-17 20:27:49

Oh I'm not alone!! Thanks all. I'm working up to 38 weeks but have a total desk job so it's actually more of a rest for me to be at work than home. Totally not organised this time but I think I'm being a bit blasé because, well, I already have all the 'stuff'. I was at an ante natal thing last week and was the only second-timer (I only went because work give me the time off so I might as well!) and they were all talking about resting and 'not doing too much' and having little naps when they get in from work - cue bitter laughs from me!

InsaneMummyOfThree Tue 21-Feb-17 21:51:55

My God, I'm really feeling your pain and tiredness!!!! My children don't know how to sleep through the night!!! I also get they feeling of being an awful mummy cos I can't pick them up. Today we went to an adventure Park, daddy was working and I thought it would be a good idea to take my 4,3 n 2 year old by myself!!!! All was going well as I plonked myself down on a bench and watched the little darlings playing lovely. There I was feeling smug until the four year old wouldn't stop shouting me to push her on the zip wire the three year old sat in the middle of the field crying cos she couldn't do the climbing frame and then the two year old made a dash for it!!!!! We left after that and called at the chippy for tea because I couldn't be bothered to cook and then got them all in bed by 6.30 by lying and telling them that daddy was working very late tonight. Now I should be thinking about going to bed but I'm enjoying my "me time" too much. I say that as I still have my fourth kicking me from inside just to remind me its not really time for myself. Don't feel bad your little one won't remember and you just need to do what you can to get through it, it won't be forever. X

toomuchtimereadingthreads2016 Wed 22-Feb-17 08:36:57

Not quite belonging in this club yet, am only 22 weeks and my daughter is 31 months... but just wanted to say hat off to you all! When I remember all the naps I took when pregnant with DD1, all the advice to take things easy... now I just laugh hysterically! So is the resting to be done 6am -8am before work/nursery? or whilst driving? or 9am-6pm at the office? or 7-9 with toddler (more hysterical laughter) or at night whilst being kicked from the outside by DD1 and the inside by DD2? Plus housework shit, parents, inlaws, birthdays... oh to sleep...

NickyEds Wed 22-Feb-17 08:48:36

You poor lot have all my sympathy! I distinctly remember how knackering and generally shit being heavily (and I was heavily)pregnant with a toddler is. The exhaustion.....The guilt..Awful. I'm a SAHM and I still shudder at the amount of c beebies ds watched in the last 3 weeks of my pregnancy.

Rest as much as you can. Eat cake. Resist the temptation to punch people in the face who say ' not long now!! Nearly there!!' at you cheerfully.

Having a newborn and a toddler was much easier than being 9 months pregnant with a toddler. Or at least it was for me!

NerrSnerr Wed 22-Feb-17 08:58:29

I'm 32 weeks with a 2.5 year old. Luckily she is just old enough to understand a bit about what's happening but she's got molars coming through at the moment so is sleeping really bad.

mistermagpie Wed 22-Feb-17 10:51:47

Oh god InsaneMummy, i think I should stop moaning immediately - you have THREE under 5 already? You deserve some sort of award. I'm struggling with my one!

My DS won't even watch TV (not interested) so i can't fob him off with that, which believe me i would sometimes. He loves books though, yesterday he wanted me to read the same book a million times and I was practically nodding off after the first few times.

No idea when we are supposed to do the 'taking it easy' either, my DH is great to be fair but we're up at 6.30 for work and don't get in until about 6pm. Then it's dinner, bath, bed, story etc for DS plus sorting the pets, then there is always laundry and cleaning to be done, and that's not to have a tidy house, just to have one that isn't ready to be condemned. Its exhausting.

GreyBird84 Wed 22-Feb-17 11:16:11

I'm only 27 weeks but have had very sickly pregnancy & toddler that decided sleep was for wimps literally the second I was pregnant, I'm part time but it's just so hard. I cry & feel depressed most days.
Toddler watching more tv than I would like but as long as we are fed & clean that's a success.
I'm finishing work at 32 weeks & I can't wait.

hearyoume Wed 22-Feb-17 11:22:54

I'm on the other side now. It was really hard. I had pneumonia too. I was a really rubbish mum and generally just left NickJr on all day for weeks on end (nursery in between) and fed her junk while I lay on the couch crying. She survived as did I. You have my sympathies. Being pg with a toddler is worse than having a newborn with a toddler imo.

jel2014 Wed 22-Feb-17 12:00:40

This is me! 33 weeks with a 19 month old. I've felt ill nearly the whole pregnancy and just coming out the otherside of bronchitis! My LO is definitely more clingy to daddy at the moment as a result of my less than impressive parenting. looking forward to finishing work in 4 weeks time so i can at least have 3 days a week to rest...or prep for the baby as i have done nothing this time!

sweetchilli77 Wed 22-Feb-17 14:09:43

This is me also...adopted a newborn baby...got pregnant straight after...will have 2 under or just over 12 months depending if i go early or on time.

Im pretty much shitting myself.

I feel more tired in my 3rd trimester than i was in my 1st,and a bit fraught. Baby sleeps though up to now so I'm just hoping i establish a good routine.

arrrhhhhhhh

InsaneMummyOfThree Wed 22-Feb-17 20:38:00

Op that is not why I posted, we are in it together. One toddler or 3 is bloody shattering!!!! I actually tell people that it's slightly easier as they entertain each other. Sometimes when the eldest is in school and the youngest is taking a nap it's the worst time because the three year old ( who refuses to nap even though she's shattered) is so full on. "mum do this, mum read that, mum play this" aaarrrggghhh!!!! One thing I will say is someone bought my daughter a doctor/ nurse play set and she loved it so we used to play doctors ALOT. This involved me lying on the sofa while she performed various medical examinations on me. I got to rest and she got to play. Lol. X

Cakescakescakes Wed 22-Feb-17 20:43:00

I fell and broke my arm when I was 34wks with DS2 and was in the midst of potty training almost 3yr old DS1. I think I've blocked that whole period of my life out!! So traumatic!!!

OuchBollocks Wed 22-Feb-17 20:48:36

I broke my leg at 33wks, 10 days in hospital, DD (2.7) super clingy when I got home. 38 wks now, c section booked for next week, largely housebound and dependant on DH and friends visiting and YouTube to keep poor DD occupied. Total nightmare. I do feel sorry for DD, I am a mega shit mummy right now.

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