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7 month old son and just found out pregnant

(30 Posts)
user1485952235 Sat 18-Feb-17 08:19:00

Hi,

My son is 7&half months old and we've just found out that I am pregnant again. Please people who have been in a similar situation give me advice on feelings of guilt. I feel so sad that my baby won't be my only baby and I'll have to share my time with him. Is it normal to feel this way?

No negative comments please I don't need to hear it.

Bobbybobbins Sat 18-Feb-17 08:20:25

We had a larger gap of 22 months and already now they are 16 months and 3 they love to play together. They will be such great friends!

yikesanotherbooboo Sat 18-Feb-17 08:21:19

He'll have a great friend to do everything with... fun for him and easier for you( apart from slightly gruelling first few months. He won't remember ever not being a big brother.

Temporaryanonymity Sat 18-Feb-17 08:23:01

Congratulations. It is normal to feel the way you do. It is the way you feel. It will all work out ok. I think smaller age gaps are easier in some ways and life will get easier as they get older.

TheWiseOldElf Sat 18-Feb-17 08:25:29

Congratulations. I have 15months between my DDs and, although it was quite hard at first, they are best friends now (3 and 4).

Shamoffour Sat 18-Feb-17 08:25:55

My son was 14 weeks old when I found out I was pregnant again. They are 2 and 3 now.
Lots of pros-
They really are best buddies.
They've always got someone to play with who likes similar things.
They don't remember a time before the other one was there.
All the baby bit (nappies, potty training etc.. ) done at the same time.
You will share your time but you will all have fun together doing similar things because they will enjoy the same things.

It can be quite hard work but so can having one baby! Congratulationsflowers

NSEA Sat 18-Feb-17 08:27:00

I had these feelings with a gap of 22 months. I think everyone probably does. When new baby arrives it won't matter - you will love them as much as the first and be grateful for them. All those feelings of guilt get replaced when you realise your first has another baby to love and to love them. It is so lovely, believe me.

blibblibs Sat 18-Feb-17 08:27:57

I was pregnant again at nearly the same point as you. DH was terrified but I was quite pleased.
The DC don't even remember a time when it wasn't the two of them and eldest DC doesn't feel like he missed out not being the only baby in the house.
I'm not going to lie, two babies in the house was hard work but I'd do it the same way again. Finished with nappies and all that baby stuff at the same time, massive toddler toys were done with at the same time and planning days out were easy with them both being so close in age. They're only a year apart at school so tend to be in the same nativity arc ratherthan being split between infants & juniors.
I do remember the fear though but all in all its been great for our family.
Congratulations flowers

ohforfoxsake Sat 18-Feb-17 08:33:21

Gosh, I remember the guilt. I wasn't expecting it at all. 14 months in between my two boys. In some ways it's much easier to have two babies. They slept at the same time which made life a lot easier. As they got older they played together, did activities together. One was never far behind the other.

The guilt subsided (and I went on to have DC3 with a 20 month gap).
My boys are now 15 and 14 and I'm so glad they are close in age. They have shared milestones, developed emotionally together and have been through the tougher times together. The only downside now is that they are the same size so no more hand-me-downs!

SumAndSubstance Sat 18-Feb-17 08:54:35

My sister and I have a gap of about 18 months. We've always got along brilliantly. Your son won't really remember a time when his sibling wasn't there. It will be good.

DianaMemorialJam Sat 18-Feb-17 08:56:25

Don't panic! My son was three months old when I found out I was pregnant again. In all honesty I did panic a bit. Being heavily pregnant and chasing after a crawling screaming baby was hard, but it was SO worth it. Ds2 is 8 weeks old now and I wouldn't change a thing. Congratulations!

user1485952235 Sat 18-Feb-17 09:05:07

Thanks everyone. It's really warming to hear I'm not the only person to feel like that x

Msqueen33 Sat 18-Feb-17 09:10:54

I have a 13 month gap between my older two and although it was tough when they were small (though younger one had special needs). They're great mates now though.

Snoopysimaginaryfriend Sat 18-Feb-17 10:45:32

Don't worry. My DD is just 9months and I'm 16 weeks. We talked and decided we should try again soon because I had three miscarriages before dd and we didn't want a very large gap. We just didn't know I was already pregnant when we had that conversation and that this little one would stick.

It will be tough but a second maternity leave so close means I get to see more of dd growing up. Of course I'll then feel guilty I won't get to see the youngest for two years! There's always something to feel guilty about haha

TheTartOfAsgard Sat 18-Feb-17 10:51:13

Dd was 6 months when I found out I was pregnant with ds. I felt massively guilty and can remember after giving birth I was obviously ecstatic and in love with my new son but equally wanted my dd there immediately and got DP to go and get her from my mums.

They're 12 and 13 now. It was hard for the first few years but once they're both at school it gets so much easier.

24+6 with ds2 now and we're seriously considering Ttc straight away after he's born

flippyflapper Sat 18-Feb-17 18:54:09

My dd was 11 months old when my twins were born.

Don't panic it will be fine. They are all great together and have an amazing bond.

Artandco Sat 18-Feb-17 18:58:32

15 month gap here. Now primary school age and best friends. It's never been stressful really either the age gap for us, was basically same as one child. If anything made easier as they have always had someone to play with.
They have pretty much always had same timings also, same time to bed, bath same time, eat together, now school and play and homework and activities all together

mysteryfairy Sat 18-Feb-17 19:05:36

11.5 month gap here. My DSs I honestly don't feel missed out at all and when they were little they did a lot of the same things - same swimming lessons, same football coaching etc etc. I can't imagine either would say they regretted in anyway their close in age sibling though their lives at 21 and 20 have gone in very different directions.

I did feel I missed out a bit on the baby years as it was such a whirlwind and I went on to have DD several years later. She moans about having no close in age sibling and desperately misses having her brothers around (as both at uni now).

Elizabethsimpson Sat 18-Feb-17 21:00:49

I've just gone through this exact thing. Our children have a 14.5 month age gap and I felt guilty the whole pregnancy. I thought I'd ruined my son's life by having them so close together and I didn't feel that I could possibly love the second one as much and felt guilty about that too. As it turned out, the second one is just as loveable and special as the first, and all the worry was completely pointless. They are both brilliant and I'm so pleased Ive got them both. It's really hard work at times, and I feel completely torn when they are both crying, but when the three of us are having a good time with my daughter in her vibrating chair and my son stroking her head I feel like I'm the luckiest person alive.

Please don't waste your time with worry as it was the most pointless thing I've ever done.

AmyB1986 Sat 18-Feb-17 22:06:34

Age gap of 19 months here. Two daughters now 7 & 8 almost 9 currently asleep in the same bed.

They have their moments but generally get on great. It was tough in the beginning having two in nappies, breastfeeding one. You could almost guarantee I'd latch the baby on and my eldest would do a poo and need changing! I wouldn't change it for the world though. They always entertained each other and learned to share my attention equally. Lovely as they grow up. Double cuddles are great!

unicorn24 Sun 19-Feb-17 19:19:02

Thanks everyone. It's so nice to hear I'm not the only one. although it is hard to stop these feelings as it's still fresh and a massive shock. I'm sure it will all work out great. Now just to crack getting the little one to sleep through hmm

iMatter Sun 19-Feb-17 19:21:15

I have a 12 month gap. Hard to begin with but so much easier after a bit.

No jealousy, great friends. It's a win win!

HughLauriesStubble Sun 19-Feb-17 19:31:10

Congrats! 12 month age gap here so I didn't even have the chance to get used to having 1 before number 2 arrived. Best buddies now, no jealousy and they're great at entertaining each other smile I find the key is to have a good routine and stick to it. Try and get out for a walk every day for your own sanity too.

I'm due number 3 any day now so we'll see how that goes grin

1bighappyfamily Sun 19-Feb-17 19:37:05

16mo gap here. DC1 was just shy of 8 months when I got pregnant with DC2.

I'm not going to lie, the first six months were tough. DC1 wasn't walking when DC2 arrived, and DC1 was a great sleeper, DC2 wasn't!

But despite all of that it was great - all the baby stuff was out of the way quite quickly. They are great pals and really keep each other company.

I love it and Am really glad it worked out this way.

Good luck!

Nicae Sun 19-Feb-17 19:44:58

16 month gap for me, little one is only 11 months now, it was tough for the first 6 months (didn't help that DD2 was very poorly for a while) but it does get easier and DD1 doesn't remember her sister not being there. I do a rhythm time class with DD1 once a week and it's nice to have some time just the two of us, I think she appreciates it too but that's only possible because my Mum lives close by and is an absolute star Grandma!

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