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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

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Get updates on how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy by signing up to the Mumsnet Pregnancy Newsletters.

Pregnancy

Feeling in limbo! Early pregnancy

44 replies

Missonhartbaby · 16/02/2017 23:11

Hey all, so I've just found out I'm about 3 weeks pregnant and just feel like I should be doing something more than I am. I've booked in a midwife apt and got my pregnancy pack etc... I keep feeling like I'm not really pregnant! I'm so scared that Il go see the midwife and she'll just be like your not pregnant. Is all this normal?!?!

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AgentCooper · 16/02/2017 23:16

I know how you feel, OP. I just found out yesterday that I'm about 5 weeks (3+ weeks according to Clear Blue). Not seeing midwife until 22nd March which feels so, so far away! I think I may have a UTI though so I'm going to see if I can see my GP tomorrow, ask them a few questions about the basics of being pregnant because being left to my own devices for another 5 weeks is scary!

Congratulations, by the way

NotTheBelleoftheBall · 16/02/2017 23:17

Absolutely normal, I said exactly that on another thread earlier today; by the time I got to my 12 week scan I'd convinced myself I'd made a mistake and that it was all in my mind (and is somehow misread 10 or so pregnancy tests). When I saw that tiny human and heard her tiny heartbeat I was genuinely amazed.

It is utterly normal to feel quite alone at that point, I felt a massive responsibility to keep this tiny lentil living inside me healthy, and even though my DH, family and friends were very supportive it was quite a lonely and insular time, I was just utterly distracted by the idea that I had a baby growing in me but I had no real proof of her existence.

I worried a LOT, I think that's normal too.

Many congratulations and lots of good luck to you!

NotTheBelleoftheBall · 16/02/2017 23:22

Oh and DD is now four months old and VERY real. I didn't even quite believe it until she was born. It's like I knew there was a baby there in theory, and by 22 weeks I could feel her almost all the time. But until she was actually in my arms I didn't quite have 100% faith that she was a real baby, I know that sounds a bit strange

MotherofA · 16/02/2017 23:26

I was the same , totally normal ! Only started feeling real at around 20 weeks to be honest (36 weeks tomorrow ) . Congrats

Missonhartbaby · 16/02/2017 23:46

Aw thank you! I'm glad its not just me! I think il be doing a few pregnancy tests just to make sure its still there! And I don't know if I should tell people yet or wait until my scan... Seems so far away though... I've told a few close friends because I just need to talk about it! I'm so excited but so worried as well for no real reason... I guess its just a big responsibility creating and looking after a life!?!
Congrats to you all as well 💜💜

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LilacSpatula · 16/02/2017 23:48

Yep! Totally normal and even when you finally see the little baby at the first scan you won't really believe it. My DD is now 10 weeks old and it still doesn't seem real! Congratulations OP it's the ride of a lifetime

Missonhartbaby · 16/02/2017 23:49

Agent, yea I think getting a drs abit earlier is a good idea especially if you think you have a uti... I would for sure! But unless there's nothing wrong there's no reason to go until your first midwife apt which is what's making me feel so lost I think and like its not real!!!

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LilacSpatula · 16/02/2017 23:49

There's a real thing called Scanxiety - worried about scan, got to scan, feel better for half a day, start worrying about the next scan....

LilacSpatula · 16/02/2017 23:50

Someone said to me, when I was first pregnant, "The worry starts now and you'll worry forever now...you're a Mum." So true...

Missonhartbaby · 16/02/2017 23:52

Lilac, haha that does sound about right to me!!! And scanxiety??? I have never heard of that.. But makes sense actually! Like I feel like I need to see it to believe it!

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emvy · 17/02/2017 20:25

Been feeling like this big time over the past 2 days. Got my BFP a week ago and the initial excitement has subsided into worry! I also keep convincing myself I've somehow made a mistake and am too scared to repeat a test in case it actually isn't positive anymore so good to see I'm not the only one feeling this way!

Missonhartbaby · 18/02/2017 13:27

Emvy its definitely not just you!!! I've been feeling like it and think I will throughout my pregnancy but I think I'll feel abit better when I have my first scan! Good luck with everything!

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emvy · 18/02/2017 14:10

Yes exactly OP. It's the super long wait before you even speak to a professional that's difficult I think. I just want reassurance! Good luck to you also. Fingers crossed our anxiety will subside and we can enjoy it properly as I know how lucky we are to be in this position

arbrighton · 18/02/2017 17:14

I've had two scans now, and passed half way and ordered a travel system but still not convinced it's real....

Missonhartbaby · 20/02/2017 21:13

Hey girls, I'm keep wanting to take another test... Just to check. Think I'm going crazy!! Haha. I don't think I can wait till 12 weeks for a scan... Ahhhh

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emvy · 20/02/2017 21:25

I actually did this the other day Missionhartbaby it put my mind at ease for all of about 12 hours then I was back to worrying again! I've found by keeping myself really busy with work and jobs (as long as I can keep awake!) then I worry less. Maybe try that

Missonhartbaby · 20/02/2017 21:32

Yea that's what I think, I don't think it actually stop me worrying to be honest. Sometimes I completely forget about it and then I realise and panic that I might not even pregnant. It's so silly!!! I know I am and from what I've looked up I should be quite low risk for having a miscarriage but it still terrifies me! I hope I'm not like this for the whole 9 months, I think once I have my scan or at least the midwife I'll be better... Fingers crossed!

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emvy · 20/02/2017 21:37

Although I wouldn't wish anyone feeling like this, I'm kind of glad I'm not the only one! I also keep worrying that I'll be worrying for 9 months, ha! So silly. I keep trying to tell myself that even if the worst was to happen then there's nothing that could've prevented it, in an attempt to try to stop me from panicking about it and just going with the flow. I go through the exact same thoughts though - am I pregnant? Am I still pregnant? Has it stopped growing? Will they pick up a heartbeat on the scan? Will I worry for the entire duration? In amongst all the excitement of the possibility I'll become a mum in 9 months. We have a lot of hormones being pumped around our bodies - it's no wonder we're all over the shop!

Missonhartbaby · 20/02/2017 21:50

Exactly!!! It's nice to know your not the only crazy one haha. Yea I know that if I did lose it there's nothing I could do and it means that it wasn't ready to be a baby and that's fine... It's the not knowing i think because i can't physically see it so it's almost as if I've just made it up! Ha. But then I do think I'm very lucky as I only came off the pill on Xmas so it didn't take long at all and for other mums it takes months and months! Yep. I'm just gonna blame the hormones!! Haha

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emvy · 20/02/2017 21:53

Haha I get moments like that! Silly isn't it. I can't wait for a scan although like you say, need to even meet with the midwife first so I have no idea when my scan will even be! I was the same, we started ttc in December so I definitely feel very lucky. I think I almost feel like it's too good to be true and therefore something bad is bound to happen! We will have to keep in touch - when will you be 12 weeks? Do you have another appointment with the midwife first or is that your first one?

Missonhartbaby · 20/02/2017 22:16

Yea definitely! Um well I'm about 4 weeks now I think so still got two months! Although I'm not entirely sure of these dates haha. I'm waiting for the midwife to ring me to arrange everything so I haven't even seen her yet, no idea when my scan would be either! ... When are you 12 weeks then? Yea I know what you mean about it being too good to be true!

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Mumh3art16 · 20/02/2017 23:34

Hey!
I'm exactly the same.. I'm 9 weeks and had my first midwife appointment last week. It was so strange they went through everything and at the end of it I said to my OH "but what if nothings in there". I'm desperate to see my baby and know he/she is there. I feel pregnant but I think the worry will always there till there in my arms. I think just get to the scan but even then I think after the scan I will still worry.. are they growing, are they ok? etc etc.

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emvy · 21/02/2017 06:28

I don't know how far I am either Missionharbaby. Crazy irregular cycles mean I haven't had a period since November but then had 3 negative tests over the space of 2 months then got my positives a couple of weeks ago. I'm estimating between 5-7 weeks based on last negative but it's all very confusing and hope I too get an appointment soon so I can find out more!

Mum3art16, hi! Definitely get the "what if nothing is there" feeling! working towards the 12 week scan seems sensible - I think that's what I'm going to do - give myself small milestones to reach!

Missonhartbaby · 22/02/2017 15:25

It sounds like we should be pretty close in our due dates then! I did another pregnancy test this morn just to make sure... Still pregnant haha!! I think all this worrying is normal tbh! Also I've got my midwife apt on the 15th so I can't wait for that to have abit of reassurance from them!

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emvy · 22/02/2017 16:40

Ha we are so silly. Good luck with the appointment! I've literally had the worst day ever though had a bleed last night and so have an emergency scan tomorrow morning. I've never been more scared in my life! Been the most distracted, grumpiest person ever today trying to sort it out. Another sleepless night on the horizon as well I'm sure! Hope all well with you!

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