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Excited but also an anxious wreck

(15 Posts)
ThatGirl82 Tue 14-Feb-17 14:12:25

Hello,

I recently found out I am pregnant and was over the moon smile I'm just over 4w.

However, the past couple of days, all I have been able to think about is that lots of pregnancies end in miscarriage, this thought already distresses me as I have wanted a baby for so long, it's kind of clouding my excitement now.

I know that if it doesn't work out then that's just the way it's meant to be and that there will be other chances, and I know that most women must go through these same thoughts.

I'm not really sure what I want from posting this, maybe just some positive vibes. It feels like such a long wait before the 12 week scan and I almost don't know what to do with myself apart from worry.

Rockandrollwithit Tue 14-Feb-17 14:37:33

I understand, I'm 9 weeks and the first trimester is so painfully slow!

I had a private scan at 7 weeks, is that something that would be possible for you?

ThatGirl82 Tue 14-Feb-17 14:58:47

Thanks rockandroll I have considered this and know some other people who have had early scans, so it may be worth considering.

Did it really put you at ease? Did they pick up the heartbeat and were they able to reassure you it is the right size? I think that would calm me a little bit.

I'm sure one we're into the second trimester things will speed up and seem more real smile

Sparklyuggs Tue 14-Feb-17 14:59:44

I know it's so hard, I think when I was 4w the miscarriage rate was about 25%, so I kept telling myself that 3 in 4 will be ok which is the majority, and beyond NHS guidelines there was nothing I could do to prevent anything happening. Start taking folic acid if you aren't already and take good care of yourself.

ILoveCheeseMoreThanYou Tue 14-Feb-17 15:07:37

I'm 24weeks and still worry everyday, so I have no advice-sorry! Maybe it's to prepare us for a lifetime of worry as parents confused

ThisisrealityGreg Tue 14-Feb-17 15:13:27

I had this when I first found out I was pregnant. A very lovely student doctor said to me "millions and millions of women have successful pregnancies - there is no reason why you shouldn't be one of them"

I kept that in my head for the next 9 months - it did help but I was a wreck at first. I felt a lot better after my scan although I cried for half an hour solid afterwards - all the fear, relief and happiness tumbled out at once. I hadn't quite believed it all till then and it did put me at ease.

ThatGirl82 Tue 14-Feb-17 15:19:53

Thank you all. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

I have no reason to worry as yet, no bleeding or terribly painful cramps. It's just the knowledge that it can happen and is actually quite common. I go between excitedly talking about future plans with my DP, and then crying because it might not work out, all these hormones have made me an emotional wreck!

uggs I have started taking Folic Acid and other vitamins, and am doing what I can to keep myself healthy smile

Cheese I imagine when you get to 24 weeks it must be nice as you can feel them move around, but then I expect you also panic if you don't feel it move for a while. You're right, we will be worrying for the rest of our lives!

Good luck with all of your pregnancies!

JessieMillz25 Tue 14-Feb-17 16:16:04

I'm 30 weeks pregnant and am still a wreck sad. I was actually alright until my 20 week scan and when I started feeling her move and then that's what started the anxiety. BUT millions and millions of ladies have babies every day. People have babies in war zones. I think the chance of a stillbirth is something like less than 1% or one in 160 (that's an American stat so could be well off) so the odds are hugely in our favour. A massive congratulations to you :-)

ThatGirl82 Tue 14-Feb-17 16:40:57

Thanks Jessie. I know you're right.... it really is a very high majority of pregnancies that work out, I just seem to be focusing on the worst possible outcomes at the moment.

You only have 10 weeks left, and you can feel her move. At the moment, I'm really looking forward to that moment.

Good luck!

Starfish83 Tue 14-Feb-17 17:03:21

ThatGirl, I'm 5+3 and can identify with this! It's strange when you have very little control over something that is so much wanted.

It may be a support to join us in the Ante-natal Club thread. (Are you due in October?) Lots of lovely women going through similar experiences!

Congratulations and wishing you a healthy pregnancy. 😊 xx

HN42 Tue 14-Feb-17 18:42:51

I think its completely normal to have worries at the back of your mind, pregnancy as I'm finding out is a journey of uncertainties, and having actually worked on an early pregnancy unit I was all too aware of the potential complications of the first 12 weeks. I've spent a bit too much time convincing myself the worst was going to happen during my first trimester but all came good I'm currently 14 weeks with twins who are healthy and growing as expected. You'll probably spend the next couple of weeks being desperate for a symptom of pregnancy and when you have days you suddenly don't have symptoms of pregnancy its kind of natural to freak out, but you get days where you feel normal and days where you feel pregnant. My advice after spending too much time worrying about what turned out to be nothing to worry about at all during the past 10 weeks of my life is try and just let mother nature do her thing, pregnancy is an emotional rollercoaster over which you have little control, there will be highs and there will be lows from excitement for your new baby and planning their nursery to being sat crying in the toilets at work for either no reason or for completely bizarre reasons. But it'll all be worth it in the end and in just a few weeks you'll get to see baby for the first time.

emvy Tue 14-Feb-17 22:11:42

Completely able to relate to this. I've just taken a couple of positive tests and have no idea how far along I am with crazy irregular cycles and lots of negatives up until this point. I technically could be as much as 12 weeks or as few as like 2, I have no idea. Now having sent a booking form to the midwife I'm panicking again because my actual address isn't in the location of that hospital because I've recently moved house and didn't think until I'd sent the form blush so I'm worried they're going to ignore the form and I'll be waiting longer to find out what's going on! So on top of the usual panic that I could lose it at any moment, I'm panicking about a million other things too! Rah! confused bring on the point where we have things actually happening!!

ThatGirl82 Wed 15-Feb-17 09:29:08

I don't have time to write a long reply but thank you for all of your support so far.

I have calmed down slightly since my DP pointed out my nipples have got bigger and changes colour. We have also agreed to book a private scan but that would at the earliest be in 2 weeks time, if I am getting lots of symptoms by then I might feel I don't need the scan.

Starfish I will pop over to the ante natal thread as it might be helpful, I am due in October yes. Maybe see you there!

Emvy I hope you get an appointment soon so can relax a little bit.

Fingers crossed it goes well for all of us. X

toomuchtimereadingthreads2016 Wed 15-Feb-17 09:46:43

I didn't really start getting excited about this pregnancy until yesterday! At my 20w scan which was at 20+6. Was lovely to have the reassurance at the 12w scan but somehow now it feels real and I am calmer. Hope you manage to put your mind at ease xx

emvy Wed 15-Feb-17 18:16:46

I've spent a lot of time this week with friends who have young children or babies and that's definitely helped ease the anxiety of an early miscarriage - they all had successful pregnancies that didn't end in the first trimester so why wouldn't I?! That's what I've been trying to tell myself anyway! smile

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