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Family Far Away and Visiting

(7 Posts)
gigi556 Sun 12-Feb-17 00:00:19

I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant and finishing work at 36 weeks. I live in England but I'm from the US. My mother is planning to fly over on my due date to hopefully attend the birth (no perfect way to time this!) and will stay about a month to help myself and my partner with the new baby and housework, etc. My partner plans to take his 2 weeks paternity. My parents are divorced and my dad and his wife will come over for a visit whenever we are ready for visitors. I asked my dad if he wanted to come over for a week or so once I'm on maternity leave to help me get the house prepared as my partner will still be working. I'm planning a home birth and I was just thinking, is this too risky a plan if I'd prefer my dad not to be at the birth? I'll be nearly 37 weeks when he arrives. I guess he could make himself scarce, but he would be staying with us...

Reddy4no2 Sun 12-Feb-17 01:54:59

How do your parents get on? As there may be a close overlap with what you suggest. Would your mum be gutted if you went early and your father was there instead? Also, if your dad has limited funds or time its probably best for them to come after the baby is here to meet their grandchild? I got fairly stressed with accommodating family when my son was born. My folks live abroad and family in the UK live 200miles away. Try not to give yourself too much to do

MamaErmintrude Sun 12-Feb-17 06:56:55

I'm 37+1, having a home birth, and my parents are visiting this week from Monday-Thursday. We get on really well but we've only got 1 room of communal space with seats so if I went into labour they'd have to either stand in the kitchen or sit in their bedroom!!! Hubby and I have been discussing this week and decided the best thing to do is be upfront on Monday. Explain that we love having them but I'm not comfortable with them being in the room if I go into labour. If I start, we're going to pay for them to go overnight/couple of nights into a hotel. If I start overnight then we'll ask them to stay in their bedroom until morning and then to please go out for the day - we'll pay of course! I know they will just want me to be comfortable so they'll be totally fine with that. I realise we're lucky that we have enough savings that we can have a hotel as a backup plan though. All that said, there is currently zero sign of baby - though I look and feel like a whale- angry grin

gigi556 Sun 12-Feb-17 16:21:58

My mom admitted she was jealous he was coming over before her. She hasn't been to see me in the U.K. in 4 years due to costs and work commitments. She's now semi-retired. My dad is retired and quite well off so has come several times and was just here in October. I wanted him to come help me finalize getting the house in order. We bought our house in September and everything is taking longer than we want it to. I know our house might not be perfect when baby gets here but I need to get it to the point where I feel comfortable and actually want to hang out in the house. It's hard for me to relax constantly thinking about everything that needs doing from DIY projects to purchasing furniture. It seemed like a good idea when I mentioned it originally... but I was just looking at the calendar and started to think I might be crazy. I don't think I want my dad around when I go into labour.

TestingTestingWonTooFree Sun 12-Feb-17 18:19:28

Wouldn't your dad rather come when there's a baby to visit? Why don't you ask him to come for when your mum leaves?

buckyou Sun 12-Feb-17 18:31:21

Surely your dad will want to see the baby?

gigi556 Sun 12-Feb-17 18:44:28

Yeah he was going to come back with my stepmom after my mom leaves. Love it here but can really suck having no family around. I was just thinking I'd need some help before the baby came and my partner is still working.

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