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Who's the father? Really need some insight please. I don't have access to DNA tests

(29 Posts)
LivieA Fri 10-Feb-17 18:14:59

Hi, would really appreciate some clarity please.

I have a baby boy now but want to confirm who the father is although I have a fair idea of who he might be.

I had sex with guy A in the early hours of January 2nd 2016, he didn't ejaculate in me or at all and penetrated me for only a few minutes.

My period came on Monday, January 11th 2016. It wasn't spotting, it was my regular period lasting 3 days and I filled at least one sanitary pad per day.

I then had sex with guy B after my period ( from 14th of January 2016) and continued to do so until I found out I was pregnant in February. We had sex over 50 times and he ejaculated in me multiple times.

I had an ultrasound scan ( several), the first being when I was five weeks and five days gone ( gestational age) and my EDD was said to be October 18th 2016. Based on this EDD, I delivered my baby via scheduled c-section just a week before October 18th 2016, on October 12th 2016 at 39 weeks.

The EDD was calculated by the doctor based on the first day of my last period ( 11th October 2016) and also based on the findings of the ultrasound scan which corresponded with the last day of my period. There was a two day difference but that's about it. The EDD never changed.

Based on the above, who's the likely father? Considering that I had my period after sex with guy A and that the doctor calculated my due date ( 18th October 2016) based on the first day of my last period being January 11th 2016 and also based on the ultrasound scans results and never changed this due date.

Very many thanks for reading.

Oysterbabe Fri 10-Feb-17 18:17:24

It's very, very unlikely to be guy A.

VocalDuck Fri 10-Feb-17 18:18:23

Your formal EDD is not the date of your last period of the five week scan. It will have been what was given to you at your 12 week dating scan. Although, I am assuming the CS was booked in for 39 weeks exactly, as they usually are, so your 12 week scan matched the dates of your first scan.

Ilovecaindingle Fri 10-Feb-17 18:18:35

Man b. . Please stop worrying. . flowers

ImperialBlether Fri 10-Feb-17 18:18:53

I can't see how it was guy A. Is that good news?

VocalDuck Fri 10-Feb-17 18:20:19

All that will tell you the answer is a DNA test. However, if it was the first man, your EDD would have been around 25 September.

LivieA Fri 10-Feb-17 18:32:37

Thanks soo much for your responses.

I had a first scan at 5.5 weeks and another at 12 weeks. After the first scan, EDD given was 19th October and after the second scan ( 12 weeks), the EDD was moved to 18th October and remained this well until delivery. -'d yes you're correct, the CS was booked at 39 weeks exactly being October 12th. Baby weighed 3.5 kg.

Does your assessment change based on the above information?

Thanks so much for reading

Surreyblah Fri 10-Feb-17 18:35:47

Does the baby have any similar features to man B?

Both of mine were very obviously like their father!

drinkyourmilk Fri 10-Feb-17 18:35:55

You had a proper period after sex with manA. The father has to be man B

LivieA Fri 10-Feb-17 19:00:43

He was said to be a carbon copy of his guy B immediately after his birth and for the first two months but now he's beginning to look like me!

BitchPeas Fri 10-Feb-17 19:03:29

You had a period after non ejaculating man A so you can assume quite safely that man B is the father.

NewtScamandersNaughtyNiffler Fri 10-Feb-17 19:05:28

Man B

SantasLittleMonkeyButler Fri 10-Feb-17 19:10:06

Man B.

Why the doubt? It sounds quite straightforward TBH. confused

Is Man A trying to claim paternity? Or Man B trying to deny paternity?

VocalDuck Fri 10-Feb-17 19:13:47

It's Man B.

buckyou Fri 10-Feb-17 19:13:57

Why would it be man A?hmm

Ilovecaindingle Fri 10-Feb-17 19:15:59

Man b. Please but the whole worry behind you and enjoy your baby. .

CoffeeDiamonds Fri 10-Feb-17 19:16:13

Definitely B

LivieA Fri 10-Feb-17 19:17:22

I think it's man B as well but I'm a very paranoid person. I think I might have a disorder. I constantly look for something to worry about. Initially it was HIV ( took about 20 tests) and then I worried my baby would have Down syndrome even though his 13 week scan results were fine and his nuchal results were within normal limits. Now I have peace and nothing to worry about and then I just started creating doubts in my mind about the paternity of my child. It seems I'm addicted to worrying and can't accept peace. I've been described as a hypochondriac.

I'm very happy it's man B whom I'm started dating after I had sex with man A ( an ex). Sex with man A was a mistake and I've been riddled with so much guilt.

MollyRedskirts Fri 10-Feb-17 19:19:35

Almost impossible for it to be A. Our babies share the same birthday. smile I was actively trying, had a period and tested negative around the same time as you.

LivieA Sat 11-Feb-17 06:14:26

@ Molly, oh wow!! How previous is that :-). Boy or girl ?

Thanks so much for all your responses and taking out time to read and address my concerns. What an amazing supportive group of people on here !

SallyGinnamon Sat 11-Feb-17 06:26:58

I'd say it can only be man B too.

It's a long time since I was pregnant but from what I remember they use the date of your last period as a way to date things not actually when you had sex and or conceived.

Plus he DID look like man B at birth, as did both of mine.

So congratulations on your DS. I was going to say stop worrying but that's what mums do - we all worry! But please relax about this and enjoy him.

LivieA Sat 11-Feb-17 07:08:58

Thanks loads... I started reading stories about women who were menstruating during pregnancies and started worrying about the possibility of having been pregnsnt even though I had my period. But then again, if that were the case, my EDD would have been September ( like a poster rightly pointed out ) not October . The October EDdate was derived from the first day of my last period and ALSO the size of the baby at 5.5Weeks and 12Weeks which tallies with the first day of my last period ( two days more but that's it ). So if you count 40 weeks from my EDD bring October 18th , it takes you to 13 th January ( day 3 of my last period. Doctor said that it means I ovulated two days later. I had sex with guy A in jan 2nd and sperm lasts maximum of 7 days so surely if I had conceived from his sperm, my EDD would have been earlier?

Also the only times I recall ever missing my period was when I fell pregnsnt on two occasions, I don't recall ever missing my period in years for any other reason.

Iris65 Sat 11-Feb-17 07:16:47

I think that you should get some help with your obsessive anxiety. A really good cognitive therapist would be the best to start with.

EllaHen Sat 11-Feb-17 07:17:09

If you had a scan at 5.5 weeks, there is no way it could be man A. The difference in size at that gestation is significant. A scan at that stage will pretty much tell you the day you had sex.

Iris65 Sat 11-Feb-17 07:17:19

flowers

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