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Prenatal depression

(13 Posts)
INeedNewShoes Thu 09-Feb-17 21:33:32

I think I may have mild prenatal depression and I wonder if anyone else who has experienced this has any advice.

When I'm busy and with friends I'm fine and have a perfectly nice time but when I'm alone I feel quite apathetic and like I don't have the mental energy to do anything. Having no inclination to make an effort means my job is suffering and then I feel rubbish about myself which forms a bit of a viscous circle.

Today I didn't eat lunch because I didn't feel hungry and was too lazy to prepare food if I wasn't hungry anyway. This is despite me taking my pregnancy quite seriously and generally making sure I eat a good balanced diet to help grow the baby. I also usually love eating so I don't usually skip meals.

When I look up prenatal depression it talks about feelings of negativity towards the baby or pregnancy but this doesn't apply to me. I am looking forward to being a mum, although I do get nervous about coping (which I'd assume is normal).

Is it possible to have prenatal depression where the focus is not on the baby but just a general low state of mind and letting the days drift past around me?

I don't want antidepressants and actually don't think I need them. Quite frankly a good walk and some fresh air would probably be treatment enough but the apathy stops me doing that!

wingingitmomma Thu 09-Feb-17 22:46:30

How far along are you hun?

Having a baby is a massive life changing event it is totally normal to have these feelings that come and go.

For many woman being pregnant is tough all these new hormones racing through you, the worries you have. I remember feeling that I knew what I was for once the baby was here but what about in the meantime?
Not like you can go out enjoying yourself with your friends (drinking and partying) you tire more easily making it hard aswell.

You're growing a human be kind to yourself it's not easy you will have good days and bad days.

Please OP try and make sure you eat plenty and stay hydrated that will effect your mood tremendously and if you start to become worried see your gp. Nobody is going to think anything bad of you and there's no shame in depression of any kind x

wingingitmomma Thu 09-Feb-17 22:47:23

Is is possible it's also possible to have postnatal depression and no negative feelings towards the baby x

INeedNewShoes Thu 09-Feb-17 23:03:11

Thanks winging

I'm 27 weeks. My pregnancy hasn't been particularly straightforward and I think I'm just generally a little worn out.

I have resolved to go for a walk first thing in the morning and make tomorrow a new day and try to get some sort of routine going which will hopefully help, ensure I eat three meals a day etc.

It would help if the sun would shine a bit more at the moment - the days are looking as grey as I feel!

I feel fairly confident that this is hormones at play, but there is that niggling 'what if it doesn't get better when the baby arrives' but I suppose I will just have to deal with that when I get to it.

wingingitmomma Thu 09-Feb-17 23:06:45

Sounds like a great plan and you sound like a very sensible person.

I honestly remember feeling that way and yes when it's cold and miserable outside it doesn't help. This is going to sound really stupid but when I felt like that I took up knitting I made my baby a couple of simple things and it felt great do you have any hobbies you enjoy that you could maybe set aside an hour to do? I still enjoy knitting now and my baby's nearly a year old lol she's got so many hats x

INeedNewShoes Thu 09-Feb-17 23:14:28

I do have hobbies - I play a couple of musical instruments. I've also got a lovely colouring book that I was given for Christmas which would be therapeutic to do probably in the same way the knitting is (though without a lifetime's supply of hats wink)

I find myself in a spiral of thinking 'I haven't got time to do nice things' because I've got a lot of work to catch up on as well as organising everything for the baby, but then I feel overwhelmed by everything to the point I do absolutely nothing. So then I feel rubbish because I haven't achieved anything and probably even more rubbish because I haven't used the time to do something nice.

Its very daft, and very frustrating!

UniversalTruth Thu 09-Feb-17 23:20:22

Maybe it would be helpful to think of the hobbies as "organising for the baby" because you need to keep your mind well for you and baby. I would mention this to your partner (if you haven't already) and midwife as there might well be some counselling support available to you that might help you.

wingingitmomma Thu 09-Feb-17 23:22:01

Well it's either take that hour to care about you or everything else will suffer. I love my colouring books! I've got about 5 my oh got me when I was pregnant. Take some time for yourself honey you deserve it even just an hour a day make a point of it infact don't be afraid to say no to other people you're number one right now and it will be the last time you can say that for 18 years lol. You'll be amazing I had my worries and my doubts but when they placed that baby girl in my arms my heart flooded with love you'll see it's the most crazy feeling but enjoy every second!

Hey! Nobody's head goes cold in this house lol xx

wingingitmomma Thu 09-Feb-17 23:22:33

Totally agree with universal

INeedNewShoes Thu 09-Feb-17 23:26:38

During my first trimester I did mention that I was feeling low to my GP and midwife and we agreed on a 'see how it goes' approach as it was to be expected at that point that I wasn't feeling positive (I had bad nausea & tiredness and a history of 3 successive early miscarriages so it was hard to be positive in the early weeks). I'm seeing my GP next week so I'll bring it up again then.

I'm single (by choice - I had fertility treatment to get pregnant) so no partner to look after me (more's the shame!). I do have a good support network of friends and family though so I think I need to make better use of them.

wingingitmomma Thu 09-Feb-17 23:34:47

I've had 3 miscarriages. 2 before my daughter. The most recent one me and my oh tried I was desperate to get pregnant.. finally that little pink line showed up I had this moment or joy followed by a huge feeling of dread it followed me around like a cloud and before I knew it I found myself googling terminations! I mean I wanted this pregnancy I tried for it but that feeling of dread was so strong I'd of given anything at that time to not be pregnant.. things progressed a couple of weeks I started feeling normal again and although I wasn't as thrilled as I would of hoped I had got my head round it I even announced it and sorted through my daughters bits as in what I would keep and use for my new baby... I had a miscarriage Christmas Eve just gone.. I was devastated I had feelings of guilt and rage. My gp said she thinks my feelings about my pregnancys have been linked to my miscarriages as in not wanting to get too attached. Please bring it up to your doctor you and your precious baby are gonna be okay! You're gonna make a fantastic mummy! Please don't judge for what I wrote it's a hard thing to tell someone but if it helps you in anyway I'm glad I shared

Hollyhop17 Thu 09-Feb-17 23:38:49

I feel the same. Suffering from HG, no work for 2.5 months and been pretty housebound. Had a couple of bleeding scares early on and already have an existing mental health condition. I agree that I feel better in other people's presence. I think I am just fixating on how lonely I feel and how much I not enjoying being pregnant, despite this baby being very much wanted. Going for a walk seems like a great idea, I hope it helps you. Good luck.

INeedNewShoes Thu 09-Feb-17 23:46:37

Winging - sorry that you've been through another MC recently. Its so so tough. I didn't allow myself to get start getting at all attached until after my 20-week scan and whenever I told people I was pregnant it was preceded by 'please don't congratulate me; it all feels too precarious' so I never experienced the joyous pregnancy announcement! We do what we have to to protect ourselves. I'd never in a million years judge you flowers

Holly - you poor thing having HG. That's something I have thankfully been spared. How many weeks are you now?

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