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Weight gain in pregnancy

(14 Posts)
katmiaow Tue 07-Feb-17 18:04:29

I'm currently pregnant with my first baby. When I became pregnant I had a BMI of 22.8 and was weighing in at 62kg. I'm now 36 weeks gone and I've put on 4kg (9lb) in total. Yes, FOUR KILOGRAMS. I know that there's no specific UK guidelines on how much weight to put on in pregnancy but if I have to deal with one more person commenting on how "neat" I am or someone refusing to believe how far pregnant I actually am then I will scream. It's really starting to get me down - I didn't realise that the moment you became pregnant every man and his dog became an expert on your body!

My uterus measurements are bang on for my dates and my midwife has always been of the opinion that "everyone is different" and therefore not to worry. However, in the last few appointments she seems to have started weighing me, asking if I've been eating ok and even asking if I've been making myself sick, which I most definitely have not. I've suffered from disordered eating for 12 years (since I was 14) but I've managed to maintain a steady and more than healthy weight for a number of years now and haven't been making any attempt to lose or control my weight during my pregnancy journey, that I'm aware of. I know that the midwife is just trying to look out for my needs as well as my baby's but she's beginning to make me feel like I am failing as a mother before I've even started and I'm questioning whether I have been making the right choices for my little boy or have been subconsciously worrying about my weight gain?! (that sounds mad, but it's the way I feel).

Are there others out there that just didn't seem to pile on the expected pounds in pregnancy and still ended up with a lovely healthy baby at the end of it?

confusedat23 Tue 07-Feb-17 19:12:14

Kat you are most definately not failing as a mother! I have 3 friends who finished their pregnancies a lot lighter and even the same dress sizes as when they started!... they also had 'neat' bumps and didn't ever rock the beached whale look i know i am going to end up with!

Your an amazing woman and mother growing a person inside you and i'm sure that burns several calories a day!!

AreWeThereYet000 Tue 07-Feb-17 21:10:19

Ignore people you can't win either way... I have put on a huge 4 stone!! (Nearly 39 weeks gone) although I am now only wearing a size 12 so still not a bigger lady and have comments like 'how many is in there' 'wow look at the size of you' etc there is no right or wrong amount of weight to put on, as long as you and the baby are healthy does it matter what the scales say? - this is what I'm trying to tell myself x

Helbelle75 Tue 07-Feb-17 21:35:25

People will comment whatever and it's really annoying. I've put on 2 stone - an 31 weeks - and have a sizeable bump, but like you measuring fine. Since about 16 weeks I've had 'you're massive' and 'hello fatty'. I struggle with body image so this has been particulalry upsetting.
I'm still wearing size 10/12 maternity clothes, but my bump stick out a lot.
Try to ignore them and think of what a fab job you're doing in growing this baby.

katmiaow Sat 11-Feb-17 20:20:54

This is exactly what I'm talking about ladies- it's such a sensitive time as it is without people just being plain rude. I'm sure they're just trying to be funny but it doesn't quite work out that way, does it? If it makes you feel any better I've had people clearly try to take the proverbial out of me and had comments such as "fatty" and "fading away to an elephant" which is clearly meant to be funny... ha. ha. ha.

Thanks for the comments, you guys are right - we're doing a fab job, big love to everyone dealing with people poking their noses in and making them feel rubbish x

I was massive during pregnancy (I lost 2st just in water after having dd in the first 2 weeks). I gained 3.5st. Dd came out less than 7lbs. My friend on the other hand was tiny. Probably the same as I looked around 18weeks when she was 2 weeks over due. Her dd came out over 7lbs.

Everyone carried differently

MumBeth Sun 12-Feb-17 07:01:53

MW is just worried and has to make sure she asks all the right questions in case you are struggling with the weight gain. BUT don't let it get you down, she's just making sure you and baby are okay 😊

My sister struggled with weight, she had a tiny bump and put on very little weight and had a tiny baby. My mum was the same. People always critized them both for not "eating for two". Whereas I've put on a stone already at 16 wks but it's all gone into bump making (I've still got my thigh gap so I know it's not going elsewhere!), and I'm getting comments like "you sure you aren't further along?" And "are you sure you aren't having twins?" My BIL keeps stating "it's not right you're that big, you need to get it checked out because you're massive". People like to have their opinion and think they are entitled to because they are helping the baby in their view but they rarely have a regard for how it will affect the mum. 😕

Best to keep doing what you're doing and just think about how close you are to meeting your baby 😊 good luck x

CatRash Sun 12-Feb-17 09:03:23

This thread has made me feel better. I'm 16+3 and put on about a stone already! I've stopped weighing myself and stopped caring - the midwife couldn't care less either. I'm prone to water retention anyway and can easily put on half a stone during one of our UK summers due to the heat so I'm imagine a lot of it is fluid. Luckily no-ones made any derogatory comments yet but I think I hide it well and the cold weather helps due to all the layers!!

BernardsarenotalwaysSaints Sun 12-Feb-17 09:28:28

I never put on much weight with my older 4 dc, I was back to pre pregnancy weight +/- a couple of pounds withing a week or 2 of all of them. I'm not really sure why, good luck I think. Despite that I did get proper bumps with dc2-4 & already have a little one now at 14 weeks with #5.

Elm87 Sun 12-Feb-17 20:14:20

Kat
I'm pregnant for the first time and only 7 weeks. However my mum keeps telling me the story of when she was pregnant with my brother: just before giving birth she was 1lb lighter than before she was pregnant. The nurse called her a liar that her recorded weights were wrong even though the nurse was the one recording them! I wouldn't worry: everyone is different. Good luck with your little one.

Missbohan Sun 12-Feb-17 20:21:58

Oh god this would really piss me off - I know people mean well but once you are eating enough to be healthy and YOU are happy and feel fine why do people always comment!!!!! I see it all the time with my friends and cousins who have had babies, some are neat, some gain a lot of weight, but touch wood so far they have all been perfect and had perfect healthy babies - everyone is different. I too have had some eating problems and am currently struggling to maintain weight of 49 kilos so am working towards gaining weight this year as i will be trying for a baby. Am guessing i will be small if i do get pregnant - really dreading the questions / comments and hope i don't get a majorly hostile "why no whale situation here" midwife

hungrywalrus Sun 12-Feb-17 20:24:37

Everyone and their dog has an opinion. It's like instead of doing normal small talk like normal people do they think your belly is an acceptable topic of conversation. How about you amuse yourself coming up with good comebacks for all situations?
Example :
"Ooh you've got bigger since I last saw you!"
"um yes I'd be worried if I hadn't"

"hungrywalrus has a baby bump!" proceeded to rub belly in exaggerated manner.
" at least my belly has a baby in it. What's your excuse? "

Missbohan Sun 12-Feb-17 20:25:12

Oh and about failing as a mother - one of my friends mentioned to me last week kindly that if i don't eat "loads" during my pregnancy it's bad for my baby. I eat as much as I can - and will do everything i can to be healthy but people who insist you gorge and eat tons are talking shit, that isn't strictly necessary. Seems people judge eitherway - some women gain a lot some don't but both open to criticism. So my friend's comment made me feel uncomfortable before i even begin, it was almost as though she doesn't trust me to be pregnant and felt sorry for any baby that might be stuck growing with me! So just block out the negativity and keep doing what you're doing - which, btw, sounds like you are doing brilliantly flowers

CluelessMummy Sun 12-Feb-17 23:28:56

Hi, I had gestational diabetes during pregnancy and controlled it with a healthy diet but I only put on 3kg the whole time. My baby was 3.4kg, so it was a weight loss of sorts. A good friend of mine (a vegetarian and very healthy eater) put on 22kg during her pregnancy. Neither weight gain was "bad". As long as you know you are eating well and resting well you don't need to stress. And congratulations!

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