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Does anyone have an older partner?

(14 Posts)
Firstimefreaked Fri 03-Feb-17 10:18:22

There is a largish gap of 20 years between me and my bf I am 25, we are having our first kid neither of us have ever been pregnant before. I'm a little unsure, I love him but he had an older dad 55 when he was born and it worries us both a little. What are other people's experience with an older partner? Is everything going well any problems to look out for?

FrutiFlutey Fri 03-Feb-17 11:37:32

I am 25, my partner is 40, we are planning our second child.

In my opinion it's better, more mature man is a positive to me!

FrutiFlutey Fri 03-Feb-17 11:38:14

Also no problems so far! He's healthy and great

Firstimefreaked Fri 03-Feb-17 11:55:18

That's great! And congrats X X I read that a younger partner helps prevent and genetic problems from the older partner X He was worried about energy and relating etc I think tbh kids always ask stupid questions/funny and run themselves ragged and teens are always hard to relate, I was worried about being alone later in life...I dunno if I'm being over dramatic I just love him, but I am sure I wouldn't have loved the younger him x

Firstimefreaked Fri 03-Feb-17 11:57:15

I think I'm an old soul in a young bod lol

FeelingForSnow Fri 03-Feb-17 13:50:02

Well...we have 22 years. DD will be DP's first child and he will be 55. We have been together for a while now and it was a bit odd in the beginning for both of us.

Now...neither of us feel any age difference at all to be honest and ppl around us are used to it too.

I would have preferred him the same but younger smile It does upset me sometimes that we have such a difference but so far it has been the happiest time in my life and worth it every day (he does roll a lot, I must say). And he is healthier than me though smile

In terms of children...we will see. Age is not ideal but he has been the best stepdad to my 2 children (11 and 12) and I know he will also be the best dad to our child. I have never felt so safe and protected and it goes for my children and our future child.


Firstimefreaked Fri 03-Feb-17 14:08:33

It's nice to hear about older relationships with younger women, I can get a lot of hateful comments and his family is a bit wary of me even tho we have been together 5 yrs. My mum would prefer me with someone younger, I do wish he was the same person but younger but then he couldn't be the same person. I'm glad to here feeling for snow that he is such a good dad 😄 I guess even with a younger man anything could happen. Roll a lot? Is he a smoker? When my be found out I was pregnant he quit, he's been smoking since he was 8...I'm finding it harder.

soontobeamum1982 Fri 03-Feb-17 14:18:18

My partner is 12 years older than me. We are expecting our first and by the time it arrives we will be 35 and 47. If everything works out well we'd like another before he's 50. I have had a few restless nights worrying about how we'll cope financially in the late teen/uni years, especially if as i expected i dial down my career for a few years now (I earn more than him, but we'll be financially stable if i cut down to 3 or 4 days a week). Realising the fact that my dad was only in his mid 40s - the age my partner is now - when I left home has given me a bit of a start.
And I have worried about him dying when children are still young as his family doesn't have a good track record on longevity.
But then I remember that the most important thing for a child is a stable, loving, lasting relationship and we definitely have that. So try not to worry., OP The most important thing is that you've found the right person to ttc with.x

FeelingForSnow Fri 03-Feb-17 14:24:36

I think his family was bit wary too and it is only normal I think. His mum thought he had lost it smile

But we all are more that OK now. My mum adores him.

With rolling I meant the expression about dogs and rolling over. There is never anything that is too difficult for him to do. He is not a smoker.

And yes, he has been mistaken to be my dad. Only once though smile

Firstimefreaked Fri 03-Feb-17 14:41:36

I'm glad I'm not alone, especially in my fears X I get how you feel soontobemum I worry and cry about it guessing age of the kid me him etc, I feel better speaking to the you guys X X I get the dad thing it's awkward, one guy was hitting on me I said no and pointed at my Bf and said I was happy he asked if I wouldn't want a banging from a real man rather than a grandad 😬

Mrs40 Fri 03-Feb-17 15:26:37

There are 12 years between me and DH so not a massive age gap but we are both going to be first time older parents soon albeit to different degrees. He'll be 52 and I am 40. We are both quite young in our outlook and lifestyle and DH in particular looks a lot younger than his years so we hope we won't be old fashioned parents. I think the fact we are aware of it helps too as we'll make an effort to keep ourselves fit and hopefully try and have as much of a youthful outlook on life we can.

One of my friends has recently become a grandmother which did make me wonder if we were disadvantaging our child but there are so many positives. We both know ourselves well, are quite comfortable (not rich but not poor) and we have both lived very fun action packed lives with travelling, holidays etc. Whilst we know things will change dramatically we don't expect our lives to end either and we'll continue to do things together and independently with friends. The difference is we'll now have so many new fabulous experiences as parents too and we'll have different priorities.

PotteringAlong Fri 03-Feb-17 15:32:55

I know it sounds mercenary, but make sure he has cast iron life insurance. Well, make sure you do to just in case but you need to make sure you will be financially ok in the future.

Firstimefreaked Fri 03-Feb-17 22:31:50

Mrs40 tbh my partner who's dad was 55 when he was born was a good dad, not as energetic sometimes confused for grandad. He tried quite hard but as he was born and lived thro ww2 things and views changed quite rapidly. Who knows if we will be giving our kids anti gravity safe sex talks, But as I heard my babies heart beat for the first time today I realised it didn't matter as long as you love them X X

Firstimefreaked Fri 03-Feb-17 22:33:11

And yes on the life insurance, It's especially important for older parents X or to create a trust or fund if you have the means.

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