Talk

Advanced search

Would you like to be a member of our research panel? Join here - there's (nearly) always a great incentive offered for your views.

Prospect of being a single mum - advice please!

(4 Posts)
user1486111275 Fri 03-Feb-17 08:55:48

Hi

So I've just found out I'm 6 weeks pregnant with a guy I've not known very long and his reaction to the news was far from great (i.e. we can sort this, it's easy to "get rid") Whilist he was very calm and offered to support me through a termination when I suggested I hadn't made my mind up his response was I can't have a child.

I'm 33 (he's 37) and we aren't dating anymore as decided we are better as friends. Last year I had an ovarian tumour (which was removed & everything is now fine) and I was told I might find to get pregnant when the time came. I have a pretty high pressure job, and although my family don't live close (I'm south London), I am fortunate enough to have a salary that means childcare would be "manageable".

I'm totally torn over what to do - I think I want this child but the circumstances make me nervous in terms of him saying he doesn't want it. Is it fair for me to bring a baby into the world who's dad doesn't want to know? Am I being naive to think I can work and bring up baby?

Any advice or wisdom would be greatly appreciated. Thank you x

AreWeThereYet000 Fri 03-Feb-17 09:39:18

Until I met my current partner I was a single mum. I didn't go through pregnancy alone but split with the babies dad when my child was 4 months old and he wasn't involved much after that until recently, I managed to run a house, a part time job and bring up my DS - and I was only quite young too (23) so it is possible.

Just think, with your previous problems and been told you may struggle to conceive - would you regret a termination if you couldn't conceive again? Or would you still have stuck by that choice.

flowers for you for going through a bad time xx

Fairy45 Fri 03-Feb-17 10:06:52

My partner left me when baby was 2 weeks old it was heartbreaking but just holding your baby and being able to look and cuddle and nurture your own baby makes everything worth while. You can do it on your own it may not be ideal but its certainly doable and the rewards are so much greater when youre single! I actually think it was easier then because theres no arguments about whose night shift it is or whos nappy it is you just get on with it. The bond between my dd and i is unbelievable!! Me and her dad sorted things out after about 18 months and we are now expecting a 2nd child. You already know what you want to do and its your body so do what feels right, if he doesnt want involvment then more fool him. He will be the 1 to miss out. 😊❤❤ sending you love!

FeelingForSnow Fri 03-Feb-17 14:13:44

Keep the baby! If money is not a huge issue then keep the baby. It is not great that the dad is not excited, I know.

If you managed to stay friends and not lovers you might as well manage to stay friends and parents. If all goes well your child will be your friend, too. Its an experience well worth having.

Its the most amazing thing when they grow a bit older and do nice things for you. My DS (12) came back from school the other day and got me some ice cream. He just said, I thought you might want some. I did.
xxx

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now