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Abortion or not

(12 Posts)
user1470244422 Sat 28-Jan-17 20:07:25

I don't want no judging please ..
I'm so so torn at the minute I've got a child(4) already and I'm pregnant 11 weeks it's with a different dad but he says he won't be involved ... his family won't...
I'm so scared because I have no family to help me or anything
I know an abortion is hard and I don't want to regret it
I'm getting to far for an abortion
But I really don't know what to do!
Is it really hard with 2 children? I'm heartbroken and so so torn! I know no one can decide for me! I'm only 24...
everyone keeps saying I'm young and can start again another time with someone who loves me sad
I'm just so scared of regretting it ..

MuvaWifey77 Sat 28-Jan-17 20:59:22

Hey Hun, so.. I was in the same situation as you 6 heras ago. No there to judge you, options are here to be used. I find some mums here a but stuck up, as if they were perfect housewives married into a perfect life ,perfect everything, reality is different. My advice is, do what is right for you, it is not too late if you want to terminate , it is your life , your body and your choice if you wish to carry on and if you wish to terminate. No one will knock on your door to ask how you are doing if you terminate ,nor if you give birth. Single mothers are pretty much on their own , I see a lot of support sometimes around keeping the baby but people tend to disappear after that, the strength has to come from you. You are the only one who can tell yourself if you are ready for another child or if you would be better off with an abortion. I hope I have helped.

TimidLividyetagain Sat 28-Jan-17 21:05:01

We can't tell you what is right for you. Have you called a sexual health services or Marie Stopes or spoken to your GP to discuss a termination. How long has it been since you found out. Really it's up to you . Do what you can cope with , what you can live with .Don't let anyone else Influence what is right for you

Patriciathestripper1 Sat 28-Jan-17 21:07:58

You can have an abortion, you can keep the baby Or you could have the baby and have it adopted?
The dad may say he won't be involved but he would still have to pay maintenance.
No one will judge you as it's your life.
Yes an abortion is upsetting. But you will get over it. Good luck flowers

TyrannosauraRegina Sat 28-Jan-17 21:14:22

Only you can make this decision, and if you feel the decision isn't yours you're more likely to regret it. Talking it over with a counsellor or very impartial friend might help.
You can get counselling from BPAS and Marie Stopes - they are very neutral and won't try and convince you either way. If you call them and tell them the name of your GP practice, they will let you know whether they can treat you for free - many GPs are registered with one or the other.
As you are under 25 you may also be able to get counselling through Brooke.

Stuffedshirt Sat 28-Jan-17 21:20:08

If the time and circumstances aren't right then you could have a termination. Your friends are right that you have plenty of time and a future still.

Another baby without a loving partner is a very difficult thing indeed and if you don't feel it right for you, well, it's your call.

I wouldn't judge you whatever you decide. flowers

UnbornMortificado Sat 28-Jan-17 21:24:59

I *find some mums here a but stuck up, as if they were perfect housewives married into a perfect life ,perfect everything, reality is differen*t.

hmmfucking charming.

User no one can tell you what to do. Your best off speaking to someone unbiased in RL. Sorry your in this predicament flowers

user1470244422 Sat 28-Jan-17 21:27:34

Thankyou everyone
I just wish someone could give me the answer but I know they can't 😢
I'm just so scared either way!
I'm so scared to get depressed and regret it
But I'm scared to have the baby and find it hard ..
Thankyou all for your comments xx

Mungobungo Sat 28-Jan-17 21:49:13

You need to contact Marie stopes ir bpas rather soon (some gps will refer, some let you self refer) and speak to them about your options. They are fully trained to support you through this and to allow you to make an informed decision about your future.
As you know, you have to make the decision which feels right for you, no one else can make that decision for you.

Pointlesscrap Sun 29-Jan-17 02:32:45

Personally I could never go through with an abortion mentally and emotionally it would break me. Think I would have the baby and give it up for adoption if I couldn't cope. It's your choice a friend of mine had an abortion almost 17yrs ago up until today she regrets it and hasn't managed to get over it. Just make sure you can cope with your conscience and circumstances with whatever you decide to do...wish you all the best

TheDowagerCuntess Sun 29-Jan-17 05:15:14

And on the flip side, I had an abortion 18 years ago (same age the OP is now), and felt nothing but utter relief afterwards. To this day, that is still my over-riding feeling. It's the emotion that many, many women who have abortions experience.

No one can tell you what to do, OP. I suspect you already know what you want to do, you just need to work through your feelings and acknowledge it.

Good, good luck. flowers

Whatsername17 Sun 29-Jan-17 09:48:19

I think there is a good chance that you are leaning towards one of the choices but you feel like you need 'permission' or someone to tell you that your decision is the right one. In all honesty, you do not need anyone's permission here. Do what is right for you. If you are leaning towards termination then get it done quickly. The further you progress the more traumatic the procedure. Good luck.

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