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Struggling with last few weeks + toddler and animals!

(12 Posts)
buckyou Thu 26-Jan-17 22:41:22

Had such a bad day. My DH had to come home from work early because I was losing the plot!

I'm 38+3. My 19mo has a cough and I think is teething too, she's just being really difficult. Then I've got a load of animals (dogs and horses) who just seem to be wanting things constantly.. I just can't be arsed with any of them I just want to rest!!

I'm getting plenty of support from husband and mum. But it's just so hard! Any tips of how to make it through the last few weeks?? Seem to be struggling mentally but also physically with my back. I'm just feeling sorry for myself really.

vixsyn Sat 28-Jan-17 11:28:08

Well I have no babies, but I have five dogs - four small ones and a big, bounding epileptic golden retriever. I can't begin to imagine having to deal with them all needing what they need - food, cuddles, brushing, holding during a seizure - as well as dealing with a screechy and unhappy toddler. I've cared for horses too and believe me when I say I am admiring the crap out of you right now - they're such beautiful, rewarding animals but oh my god they're hard work!

Will your dogs perhaps settle down after a bit of a run around or some food? Do they respond to you flopping out and ignoring them by clambering all over you or do they get the message to chill?

When my nieces and nephews were grouchy with teething I used to bundle them up and take them for a walk. They were distracted by the sights and sounds and seemed to get a bit worn out by it as well. Maybe even a (well insulated) wander around the garden with a dog or two in tow? Might relax you as well!

I do know the ails of bad backs - what sort of pain is this? What region? I ask because heat vs. cold could be important depending on whether is muscular, joint or other skeletal, or from the bump strain. Do you have heat pads/ice packs handy that you could put on? Is the DH any good with a quick back rub? Could you take thirty minutes for yourself every day or two to have a nice warm bath and a mental unwind? Or even a lie down with a cup of your favourite warm something and a lavendar pillow?

If nothing else, take some deep breathes, close your eyes, and try to focus on just one thing - the dark behind your eyelids, a sea horizon, a babbling brook, whatever does it for you - and take a minute to shut everything out. Just find some inner calm. Yes, I know that might sound really cliche, but it really can help bring you back towards the centre.

Feel better, have some hugs, and some flowers

passmethewine123 Sat 28-Jan-17 11:36:25

Do you have any friends or fellow liveries who could help lessen the load with the horse/s? Obviously don't know what your situation is but if you're having to see to them twice a day, if you could get somebody to do one end of the day for you just now would that help? Hats off to you though! I'm not pregnant yet, just TTC but I'm already dreading dealing with my horse when the time comes. Luckily I'm in a tiny yard with loads of support so I think I'll be relying heavily on others, if you have your horses at home I can imagine it will be really tough in the later stages - especially at this time of year! X

SuperUnicorn Sat 28-Jan-17 13:04:27

Are your horses at home or kept with others who could help out? I've got two on my own so when I can't do them anymore I'm going to turn them out and hopefully they will be less work, I'm going to start roughing them off next month and crossing my fingers that the ground will be dry enough. One of my friends is also a freelance groom, so she is on standby to do them if all else fails. I've also been training up my husband so he is now ok with the basics (although I feel bad asking him as I know he isn't keen on them). He seems quite happy to help out though being as this is his baby too.

For the dogs do you have an enclosed space they could entertain themselves in? Then make sure someone else does the poo picking for you so you don't have to be bending.

I've no experience of toddlers at all (this baby is going to be a bit of a culture shock for me) so I'm not sure what to suggest but would your mum be able to take her to give you a break now and then?

buckyou Sat 28-Jan-17 13:07:41

Thanks for the lovely replies folks. My DH had been around more last couple of days to help so I'm feeling much better. The horses are at home but I'm getting help with them most days now.

I've got my old terrier who is no trouble at all but also got a 1yo pointer, to be fair to him he is a good boy for his age but he is just completely doing my nut at the moment! To top it off he seems to have some fowl smelling stuff leaking out of his bum! But not like normal poo.. I don't know if it's his anal glands or something. Trip to the vets I think! Annoying though because I'm feeling like nesting and that I need things to be clean!!

Tends to be very low back pain I get. Normally when I've been walking a lot of lifting my toddler a lot at soft play or something. I've got some heat packs which seem to help. MW said baby might be back to back so that might be causing it.

Jojo13 Sat 28-Jan-17 14:00:02

Oh no, I can totally sympathise. We've just sent our crazy collie to stay with the in laws for a few weeks as he's been barking mad and I've had a bad back too so struggling to walk him. I too have a very demanding toddler at home and have been feeling very tired and sorry for myself the last couple of days (and im only35 weeks!!)
No real advice I'm afraid but I know it's good to know sometimes that you're not alone! Love xx

buckyou Sat 28-Jan-17 15:18:24

I don't think it helps with the time of year either does it Jojo. Just been out with my toddler to help with the horses and it started pissing it down so we all got soaked and freezing. I thought about asking my mum to have the pointer but I feel a bit guilty that she'd have to put up with him!

I expect we will muddle through.. And then in a few weeks we'll wonder what we were complaining about when we didnt have a newborn to deal with as well! X

haveacupoftea Sun 29-Jan-17 01:13:19

The 1yo dog sounds like hes picked up a dose of worms. Probably out catching rabbits or something equally gross. Or it could be his anal glands especially if he is on rich food. Have you moved him onto adult food yet? A dose of wormer and a change to dry adult food could be the ticket. I found Clinivet to be very good for leaky anal glands. Harringtons which you can get in supermarkets is good too! Dont get Iams, its far too rich.

buckyou Sun 29-Jan-17 03:55:11

Thank you haveacupoftea!

TwoDogs9 Sun 29-Jan-17 04:12:55

I feel your pain! I think you need to ask for as much help as possible. Is there someone local who can take the pointer out for a long walk once a day? I'm having to resort to this with my one year old Springer during the week when DH is at work. It also gives my JR a break from him grin. Are the horses turned out 24/7 or do they come in at night? Do you have someone who can help with them when the baby arrives? Having stupidly thought I could carry on as I did before when my baby was born, nearly four weeks in I'm beginning to realise I need to accept all the help I'm offered as it's just impossible to do everything! Good luck with it all OP.

Chottie Sun 29-Jan-17 06:16:48

I don't have any pets, but I remember reading about a dog befriending service which matches up people who love dogs, but don't / can't have one with those who do and need some help with dog walking. Maybe this would help short term, if there is a scheme in your area.

I hope all does well smile

Chottie Sun 29-Jan-17 06:17:21

<< goes not does >> !!!

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