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18+3 struggling to imagine baby

(10 Posts)
Beth6487 Mon 23-Jan-17 08:27:22

Hi, I'm 18 weeks pregnant and I'm 19 years old. I'd only been with bf a month before I got pregnant and the pregnancy wasn't planned. Just wondering if anyone else struggles to picture a baby at the end of pregnancy, can't imagine life with a baby even when I try???

babyunicornvomit Mon 23-Jan-17 10:16:53

Hi, I'm 13 weeks and 20 years old. I fell pregnant completely unplanned but I feel like it's such a great thing. I'm still worrying about money, sorting out a house with bf and that kinda thing, and I too am struggling to imaging what it'll be like to have a real baby! But I do think once it gets closer it'll feel more real, and once you give birth I'm sure you'll love the experience smile

AButterflyLightsBesideUs Mon 23-Jan-17 11:02:18

I think it is totally normal to not be able to imagine a new person. I'm 31, have a 5 year old and am 40 weeks today with a baby boy and I cannot imagine having a baby in the house and how our lives will be with him!

Have you talked to your MW at all about how you feel? You've had a lot of sudden life change and it's a lot to process. There are often young parent (under 25's in our area) support groups etc that MW's can put you in touch with and maybe it would help to meet people in a similar boat etc?

Good luck with your pregnancy flowers

user1480264544 Mon 23-Jan-17 12:26:17

I fell pregnant at 22 and found out when I was 6 months gone! In the same week I lost my job I struggled desperately to come to terms with the thought of having a baby especially with only 3 months to prepare but please believe this... when you hold your baby you will find it just as impossible to imagine life with out them! It happened with me! Now I have a beautiful 19 month old daughter and 13 weeks pregnant with number 2! Babies do change your life but coming from someone who never wanted to have children for me it was definitely the best and most positive change I could of dreamt of! But definitely if you find you need the extra support speak with the MW's flowers x

Coldhandscoldheart Mon 23-Jan-17 12:30:10

Yes! I'm 40, and it was still a surprise when they gave me a baby! I spent a couple of days wondering whose she was (wasn't altogether well). It does come together & make sense after a while tho.
Plan what you can, keep your wits about you, eventually things come clear.
Good luck.

McBaby Mon 23-Jan-17 12:33:53

25 weeks with baby no 3 and have struggled every time to imagine a baby at the end. But it seems totally normal when it finally happens.

ExpectoPatronummmm Mon 23-Jan-17 12:50:14

This is my 3rd baby and I have had those feelings with all three!!
Even though I have two kids I cannot get my head round the fact there will be another and probably won't til it's here!

eastcoastmum2014 Mon 23-Jan-17 13:08:52

I got pregnant for the first time at 26, we were trying and I was so lucky that we got pregnant really quickly. I literally couldn't picture her the entire way through the pregnancy, I couldn't imagine what I would look like as a mother! I was always to career driven and independent. However since the moment my DD was born I literally couldn't imagine my life without her. I identify myself as a mum, and my whole world revolves around her I literally didn't know you could love someone so much! 2 years down the line, I'm about to have a DS and I cant picture his face or what he will be like- but I know I will fall in love with him just as much as I love my little girl! You will be fine, you will love that little baby with your entire heart xx

BingThing Mon 23-Jan-17 18:37:05

I was 30 and in a new relationship when i got pg unexpectedly with ds1 and i felt exactly the same as you! As everyone has said it all just clicks into place when they arrive! The only thing I'd suggest in addition to everyone elses great advice, and it might be a bit daft, but I didnt find out the sex with ds1 but did with ds2 and felt i bonded much better with number 2 during pg. I thought it was because it was second time round but now 30 weeks pg with dc3 and haven't found out and do feel a little less bonded, it's much harder to imagine when you dont know the sex I think. So might be a good idea to find put what you're having to help you bond and plan better x x

sanityisamyth Mon 23-Jan-17 18:45:00

Have you got friends or family members with newborns or under a year olds?

When I took my DS to a BF group we had a lovely girl join us who was in your shoes - pregnant at a fairly young age and just wanted to talk to new mums so that she could picture what life would be like. Could that be an option?

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