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Baby name dilemma - what would you do?

(37 Posts)
ja9 Sat 24-Feb-07 15:28:53

I'm due today. Have girls name and boys name ready. Boys name has come and gone but girls name has remained same since was pg with ds 3 yrs ago. Lots of people know what my names are - not been secretive about it.

Very very close friend gave birth this morning (couple weeks early). Had little girl, called her same name as we have chosen. Friend lives couple hundred miles away now, but we are in touch often and have several friends in common.

Not sure if she knew our names or not. Unusual circumstances in her being overseas for duration of my first pg and having had a late miscarriage (making her nervous about this pg) has resulted in a noticeable lack of 'baby chat' between us. So it could well be that she has chosen this name coincidentally.

Anyhow. With days to go to birth of my lo, if you were me would you change your girl's name?

Miaou Sat 24-Feb-07 15:31:12

No, but at this stage I might mention to her (casually in an email or phonecall) "I definitely approve of your dd's name, in fact it's our no. 1 choice if this baby is a girl!" - ie make light of it but make it clear you are not "copying" etc.

DeviousDaffodil Sat 24-Feb-07 15:33:58

I wouldn't change. If you do not spend a lot of time together it does not really matter.
Friends of ours have a ds withthe came name as ours.
We meet up a few times a year, but it is not a problem.
I would mention it as per previous though

marthamoo Sat 24-Feb-07 15:36:00

I wouldn't change it either. Are you sending a congratulations card? I would maybe say in that - "Love the name - in fact, it's funny - that's always been our no.1 choice for a girl's name too."

Good luck with the birth

3sEnough Sat 24-Feb-07 15:38:33

WE had this very dilemma - we changed ds name and promised to use it again with next boy - we had 2 girls! Use it but warn them.

ja9 Sat 24-Feb-07 15:40:02

oh thanks!! i thought everyone would say to change it which would make me so sad cos i've always imagined myself with a daughter with this name (if a daughter at all iyswim).

thought i'd phone her in next day or so and mention it, so as they are 'prepared' when we announce it as our name.

i'm all for staying with name but dh is going to need some convincing!

i feel so emotional about it. but then i'm emotional about everything at the minute!

NAB3 Sat 24-Feb-07 15:44:19

No.

NAB3 Sat 24-Feb-07 15:45:43

I don't think you need to make a big deal or prepare them. If they are good friends don't they know anyway you like the name? If they say anything that they think you have copied just tell them you have had it in mind for 3 years! Good luck with the birth.

lurkylou Sat 24-Feb-07 15:48:00

Good luck with the birth and as others said before stick with girl's name and congrat friend on having same excellent taste in names as you!!!

PeachyClair Sat 24-Feb-07 16:08:01

Middle name?

We got a call four days after DS1 was born checking tossee casually if baby had arrived- turned oput they (due same day but I was induced early) wanted our girls name LOL! Not a problem for us fortunately but would I have been OKAY if they ahd used it? But miffed I guess but I'd have used it anyway.

Coyuld you hyphenate it to a middle name? So if the name was Sophie it would be, dfor example, Sophie-May?/ Just ideas

tassis Sat 24-Feb-07 19:14:44

huge sympathy - again

i honesty don't know what we'd do...as you know we changed dd's chosen name coz friends were going to use it...

...but the HUGE differences are that you've been planning to use this name for years and you've imagined your LO (if it's a girl) to be called this name for ages too and you have NO TIME (we all hope!) to get used to another name (and I do think you need to try a name out for a bit...)

that doesn't really help does it?

much love
xxx

Waswondering Sat 24-Feb-07 20:11:00

ja9 - if it's any consolation, my dad's best man and groom's man from the wedding (aka the "3 muskateers") both called their sons Jonathan. No problem at all to anyone - one is now Jon and the other Johnny. Always been separate and always been seen as a compliment (there is a year or two between them, so not days as in your case). See each other very very frequently, even though live at a distance. In fact, I don't think we even think of them having the same name.

Stick with what you have chosen - don't compromise just because of that. They would just be known as "Esmeralda A" and "Esmeralda B" (picking a random name!) to those common friends, but have their own identities.

All the very, very, very best in the next few days - keep hoping to see a thread "I'm in labour" with you starting it!!! Hugs!

Twiga Sat 24-Feb-07 20:11:41

Was thinking of you when got the message about the wee ones arrival. If it was us we wouldn't change it, you've liked it for soo long and it's not like you live next door. Think it's a lovely name and if it's a dd you end up with then go for it. We like you guys have names picked out for this one and honestly wouldn't change them now - including you guys there are three other sets of our friends due before us. Big hugs and hope to hear news from you very soon x x x

Waswondering Sat 24-Feb-07 20:13:08

Oh - is it who I think it might be? If so, what lovely news!!! Looking forward to hearing through the grapevine (ja9 - do you holiday with this lady in July?)

tassis Sat 24-Feb-07 20:16:17

Hi Twiga - so tell us your names?

WW - I'll text you who it is...

What're you thinking Ja9?

Twiga Sat 24-Feb-07 20:17:28

Hi WW, just in case ja9 is otherwise occupied (here's hoping) - the answer to your question is yes! Hope all well with you and family. We're still in mad un-packing and sorting mode, taking a while to settle back in. Was in the winter gardens with dd today - what a hit, had forgotten how nice it is in there.

Twiga Sat 24-Feb-07 20:20:26

Would love to tell but am sworn to secrecy by my better half, sorry tassis! Like last time we're down to a list of two for each so first and seconds all sorted out.

Waswondering Sat 24-Feb-07 22:03:21

Twiga - nice to hear from you - was thinking about you today (randomly - wondered if your dh was invovled in the train crash then remembered you were probably back here!)

WG are great, aren't they? Ds often asks to go there!

Hope to see you soon - enjoy being "home" again!

hillary Sat 24-Feb-07 22:12:23

I had my DD's 3 names decided since I was a child myself. When I had her the lady 6 doors down had her baby (about 2 weeks after me) and asked my mum what I'd called my DD, my mum told her and she called her DD those exact names! I was fuming! The names I chose for my DD were not ordinary names so there's two children of the same age with identical initials (even their surname began with the same initial as ours) (In a very small town)

ja9 Sat 24-Feb-07 22:13:10

otherwise occupied - pppffff. chance would be a fine thing!


this baby is not for coming out.

Waswondering Sat 24-Feb-07 22:15:10

ja9 - have you tried some raspberry leaf tea? Or a hot curry?



Really hope it happens soon . . . and you're not too despondent.

ja9 Sat 24-Feb-07 22:18:20

raspberry leaf tea, hot curry, tonnes of pineapple, bumpy roads, bd, g&t, walks, going down stairs sideways, bouncing about at ds gym class....


trying to be more positive today, but it's hard work...

<<forced grin>> "it is such a privilege to be pregnant and to be carrying this lo. how wonderful that it is so comfy where it is"

Waswondering Sat 24-Feb-07 22:20:43

Smiles benevonently. Tactful comment approaching:

Oh ja9, have you not had that baby yet? Ah well, maybe next week . . .

ja9 Sat 24-Feb-07 22:22:43

and i'm sooo looking forward to church tomorrow to be able to smile politely at everyones sympathetic looks.

Waswondering Sat 24-Feb-07 22:25:02

But if you don't go then everyone will perk up and ask "ooooh . . .. "

You never know, lo still has 12 hours to arrive and make it in time for the opening hymn. I'm sure your minister would be ok about your lo bursting through the doors in your dh's arms . . . .

Right. Off to bed - sleep well (oh I remember the cruelty of pg insomnia when I would ding awake at 5am and think what am I supposed to do now!)

xx

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