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NEED ADVICE

(26 Posts)
manda1989 Sat 21-Jan-17 08:28:15

hello im a 27 (nearly 28 year old) i have an 18month old child from a previous relationship and have been in my current relationship for just over a month now and i found out the other day that im pregnant...the problem is he wont tell his mum...he says how do you tell your mum your having a baby with someone you aint been with long...im worried he aint ready to be a dad he is 25 but all my family already know...he says he is over the moon that we are having a baby and he has even told his mate and his mates kids so why aint he telling his mum who is more important to tell

Kelsey28 Sat 21-Jan-17 08:39:27

Can I ask how many weeks pregnant you are? maybe he is cautious in case something goes wrong?

manda1989 Sat 21-Jan-17 08:43:25

im not sure yet i have a midwife app on the 15th of feb

MiniAlphaBravo Sat 21-Jan-17 08:47:24

I find it a bit strange that you've already told all your family to be honest. He surely doesn't have to tell his mum everything immediately at 25?! It must be a massive shock to have go pregnant so soon, unless you weren't using contraception, in which case it's not really surprising at all and he will have to deal with it if you are keeping the baby.

Kelsey28 Sat 21-Jan-17 08:47:49

If he is unsure how to tell his mum, could you tell her together?

Kelsey28 Sat 21-Jan-17 08:49:05

Also I found out I was pregnant at 10 weeks so very close to the safer 12 weeks. My fiancé of five years still freaked out about having to tell his mum and didn't for two weeks. A lot of men have strange reactions to pregnancy news.

FishInAWetSuitAndFlippers Sat 21-Jan-17 08:52:09

You have only been together a few weeks, give him chance to absorb the news before announcing it to everyone. You must both be in shock. Not telling his mum at this early stage isn't a problem at all.

manda1989 Sat 21-Jan-17 09:02:26

i was on the pill and ive only met his mum once for about 5 minutes

PotteringAlong Sat 21-Jan-17 09:07:09

I hadn't told my mum I was pregnant at this stage with any of my pregnancies and I was married.

I think it's more unusual that you have told them to be honest.

manda1989 Sat 21-Jan-17 09:10:01

i have epilepsy and my family have to know im pregnant incase i have a fit

BastardGoDarkly Sat 21-Jan-17 09:13:53

You must only be three /four weeks? Its not unusual at all to wait until 12 to tell people.

Nightmare all round being pregnant so soon, are you sure he wants the baby?

PotteringAlong Sat 21-Jan-17 09:49:46

That's fine, but that doesn't mean that him not rushing to tell his mum is a problem.

Ilovecaindingle Sat 21-Jan-17 09:52:40

You are expecting him to let his mother knows her little boy has sex!!
You already have a child so know the impact on your life - the good and the bad! He hasn't a clue!! Give him some time to adjust first!!

haveacupoftea Sat 21-Jan-17 12:14:40

Just because your family were thrilled doesn't mean his will be confused if I told my mum i'd got pregnant by someone i'd known a month she would be furious.

sarahnova69 Sat 21-Jan-17 12:20:05

I think I'd probably focus less on whether he's told his mum (I've been married the better part of a decade and I wouldn't tell my mum before twelve weeks) and more about what this pregnancy means for you and whether you want to continue it, given that your relationship is very very new and untested, and that there is a fairly high chance it will not survive the strain.

annlee3817 Sat 21-Jan-17 12:32:44

It didn't really seem real to my DH until we had the first scan, he didn't want to tell anyone before then, he couldn't get his head round it or visualise it. When we went for the first scan and he saw the heartbeat it all became very real, and we'd been married for two years, together for five. I think it's normal for them to keep it quiet and to take time to get their heads around it.

manda1989 Sat 21-Jan-17 12:36:29

firstly i dont believe in abortion it should be illegal and secondly im very happy im pregnant

sarahnova69 Sat 21-Jan-17 12:43:50

OK, great. Well, then your only options really are to wait and see how things play out, but also prepare yourself for the possibility that your relationship isn't ready for this.

Blondeshavemorefun Sat 21-Jan-17 14:01:54

So you've been with partner for a month and already preg

Did you have sex the first night together as usually wouldn't know till 4-6w as go from last period

Is there anyway he could think baby isn't his? (Sorry)

BeingATwatItsABingThing Sat 21-Jan-17 14:08:39

I got pregnant very early in my relationship with DP. We didn't tell our families until 16 weeks. It's not unusual to not tell people immediately.

manda1989 Sat 21-Jan-17 14:38:33

no im not a slag i havent slept with anyone since my ex in october and my last period was 14th of dec

TheFirstMrsDV Sat 21-Jan-17 14:42:14

Its nice you are happy to be pregnant. Congratulations.
Your views on abortion an women who have more than one partner are pretty shite though. Maybe keep them to yourself if you want people to take the time and trouble to advise you?

BeingATwatItsABingThing Sat 21-Jan-17 15:04:03

No one said you were a slag... hmm It's not unreasonable to think that you could have had a partner before your current one.

Kelsey28 Sat 21-Jan-17 15:32:36

You seem incredibly immature.

ColourfulOrangex Sat 21-Jan-17 15:48:54

Give him time it's very early days, most people don't make it common knowledge until they have the first scan

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