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NEED ADVICE

(7 Posts)
manda1989 Sat 21-Jan-17 00:26:15

hello im a 27 (nearly 28 year old) i have an 18month old child from a previous relationship and have been in my current relationship for just over a month now and i found out the other day that im pregnant...the problem is he wont tell his mum...he says how do you tell your mum your having a baby with someone you aint been with long...im worried he aint ready to be a dad he is 25 but all my family already know

AreWeThereYet000 Sat 21-Jan-17 00:51:04

I think before you tell families (although I see yours already know) you should have the discussion together as to whether you're going to go ahead with the pregnancy or not - you've said you're not sure he is ready to be a dad, so is he? Have you asked him? If he doesn't want to proceed with it could you/would you do it alone? These all need answering before telling people in my my opinion, and to be honest if you have only been dating 1 month you can't be far along in your pregnancy, a lot of peopl wait until they are in the 'safe zone' past 12 weeks before openly discussing a pregnancy incase it doesn't go very well. My advice would be to discuss why he doesn't want to tell his family yet so you can make a decision of how and when together - if that's the choice you decide x

AreWeThereYet000 Sat 21-Jan-17 00:54:04

And if it is just that he is anxious of her opinion then really it just comes down to putting on united front and telling her... lead with the positive me and xxx are really happy that we are expecting, if her reaction isn't so nice then just simply walk away and let it sink in, I'm sure she will come around x

Quarksoundslikequack Sat 21-Jan-17 01:20:38

My exes words when I asked him what he'd say if I fell pregnant were "I'd expect you to have an abortion, no way I'd want a baby with someone I've only known 6 weeks".

Personally, I felt quite embarrassed telling his family after knowing my ex 3 months, I was waiting for people to tell me it was too soon.

In hindsight, it was far too soon, I've realised that even after 8 months together, I didn't know him.

I certainly won't be having another child with someone I've known under a year.

manda1989 Sat 21-Jan-17 08:23:50

he says he is over the moon im having his baby he has told his mate and his mates daughter so why not his mum

TalkingofMichaelAngel0 Sat 21-Jan-17 08:30:10

Because it is ridiculously soon! You've known him a month? What are you? two weeks pregnant? That is way too soon to make a pregnancy common knowledge. Wanting him to tell everyone, and you telling everyone already, sounds more like marking your territory than a normal reaction to a Pregnancy.

You dont know who he is. He doesnt know who you are. Maybe he wants to get to know you, and let his family know you before they see you only as the future mother of his child.

You actually sound 16. How much contact does your dc have with her father? When did you split from him? Im wondering wheter your path with your new boyfriend is a result of wanting to fix your original family.

Kelsey28 Sat 21-Jan-17 08:42:29

I wouldn't be telling anyone at two weeks pregnant. Especially not mates.

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