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Partners at the booking in appointment?

(32 Posts)
kezmarie Sun 15-Jan-17 16:11:20

As the title says really.
Are partners required to attend the booking in appointment at the local maternity unit?
Or is it personal choice?

I have my appt at 4.30 tomorrow & my partner may not be able to get out of work but I said it's fine if he misses it?

Thanks for any advice.

Hollyhop17 Sun 15-Jan-17 16:13:21

You'll need to know his family history if he can't make it. My DH was asked a lot of family medical questions, some of which I knew but not all of it. Good luck.

Doolallylally Sun 15-Jan-17 16:14:02

It's fine. Some women don't have a partner and others prefer to go on their own. Your midwife will often want to see you on your own at some point anyway as they will raise the issue of domestic abuse within your relationship. No easy if DP is there.

sarahnova69 Sun 15-Jan-17 16:15:20

No need so if you feel comfortable without go ahead.

In fact iirc partners are usually asked to leave for part of the session if there so that the midwife can get your full obstetric history in case there are bits partner doesn't know, and so they can share with you some domestic abuse resources.

ProseccoPoppy Sun 15-Jan-17 16:15:25

Personal choice - I was an anxious mess (generally) so DH was at every appointment but he didn't need to be.

eurochick Sun 15-Jan-17 16:17:12

It's just a lot of form filling and probably blood and urine tests for you. No need for him to be there, but probably a good idea to ask about any illnesses in his family.

rosel27 Sun 15-Jan-17 16:17:42

Hi Kez,

I'm not an expert as I'm at the same stage of pregnancy as you, my booking appointment is next week, but I asked the same question of some of my recently pregnant friends who've said that nothing really happens. You get your bloods taken, height weight etc. and they ask about your medical history and your partner's. They sometimes also ask your partner to leave the room for a bit as well so they can ask you some more intimate questions.

I'm not taking my partner to mine as it just sounds like a lot of waiting around for them. I think as long as you are aware of any concerning medical history on his side then it's fine for him not to go.

Hope this helps and good look with your appointment!

rosel27 Sun 15-Jan-17 16:18:23

Sorry I wrote my post before anyone had replied so didn't mean to just repeat what everyone else said!

kezmarie Sun 15-Jan-17 16:18:54

Thanks for your advice ladies.
We've recently had IVF treatment hence baby, so all family history (medical issues) have already been raised then else we would have been denied treatment. Hopefully the fertility clinic have sent everything over!
That's great then, I'll tell him not to worry about coming.
We have the 12 week scan a week on Tuesday and he's more excited about that!

Thanks again

SnugglySnerd Sun 15-Jan-17 16:21:56

The midwife visited me at home for mine. DH was at work, I don't think there would have been much point in him attending though. They did ask about family medical history so make sure he tells you about anything relevant e.g. diabetes in his parents or siblings.

Applesandpears23 Sun 15-Jan-17 16:24:13

I would say partners are only really necessary for scans or if you have anything upsetting you that you want to discuss and need their support. At the booking appointment they do ask for a very detailed medical history including things like are any of his relatives diabetic so you may want to chat about that sort of stuff. If you need to change your answers later you can do. The question I can never remember the answer to was when was your last smear test.

MouseLove Sun 15-Jan-17 16:27:39

I'm glad you posted this as I have my booking appointment in a few weeks. I didn't even think to bring DH. 😮

I'm now panicking as we haven't told our parents yet and they both have different medical issues I'll probably need to tell the midwife? Is that right or will it just be mine and my DH's medical history?

Thank you and sorry for jumping on your thread. Congratulations!!!! X

Scrumptiousbears Sun 15-Jan-17 16:28:36

I didn't take my DP to either. He was working both times and it can go on for an hour or so once you've gone and got your bloods done. As long as you've filled in the forms and know the answers you are fine by themselves.

Oh they also like to question you about domestic violence anyway so handy for them if he isn't there so they done have to find an excuse to separate you.

WhatwouldRuthdo Sun 15-Jan-17 16:34:52

My booking in appointment letter asks me to come alone. I imagine this is, IIRC from my first pregnancy, so that the midwife can ask various questions about the home environment (including possible DV).

arbrighton Sun 15-Jan-17 16:35:08

never dreamed of taking DH- I know the bits I needed from his side. He's allowed time off for 2 antenatal appts.

12 week scan was during his xmas break so will ask him to use them for 20 wk and for the Anti D appt in case I do go funny.

arbrighton Sun 15-Jan-17 16:37:00

no, they will need family history e.g. diabetes and blood pressure. And handy to know about any genetic conditions e.g. haemophilia (DH grandad was but as it's sex linked and on his dad's side, no problem)

I didn't have a letter or anything- just rang up to make appt. They do ask about DV though, they have to in order to identify risk etc

RapidlyOscillating Sun 15-Jan-17 16:40:18

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PatsFan Sun 15-Jan-17 16:41:07

Didn't think about taking OH to mine. Questions aren't anything you aren't likely to know about your partner. And I'm sure if you don't know you can tell the midwife later.

kezmarie Sun 15-Jan-17 17:04:24

I didn't realise about the domestic abuse questions!
Before we started IVF treatment we both had to have crb checks & fill out child welfare forms before they would even consider us. Obviously got the all clear.
Luckily I have no family medical conditions and my DP's dad has diabetes which he developed at the age of 51 - pretty sure I can remember that!
I've heard it's a lot of form filling and you come away with a huge pregnancy folder!

kezmarie Sun 15-Jan-17 17:06:17

No problem! You jump right on!
They will ask about both of your families medical history - siblings, parents, grandparents. So probably best you start gathering the info when you can!

Blondeshavemorefun Sun 15-Jan-17 18:38:59

I didn't take df and he's never met our mw yet (29w) and seen her I think 3 times so far

As long as know history then not a problem or if not sure then can always call him

Far better to take on scans and antal natal appointments

Winniethepooer Sun 15-Jan-17 18:41:52

Six dc here & dp never attended a booking in appointment. Some not all scans.
He knows nothing about his family!

kezmarie Sun 15-Jan-17 18:42:13

Blondes that's fine.
I was jus asking if he should be there or not, didn't want to turn up and then tell me that he should be there!
He only came to my IVF appts at the end when he was actually needed!
Yes he will be coming to all scans

Applesandpears23 Sun 15-Jan-17 18:55:42

Oh and you might want him at the glucose tolerance test about 28 weeks if you have to do one. First time around I puked all the way along the road as I had to get a bus early in the morning on a completely empty stomach. I wished I had got a lift and someone to hold my hand.

Bear2014 Sun 15-Jan-17 19:04:21

My OH has only ever come to scans. Mostly midwife appointments are just loads of admin, blood and wee taking. Later on when talking about birth plan etc it gets slightly more interesting.

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