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People feel sorry for me but I've never been happier?

(7 Posts)
justanotheryoungmother Sun 15-Jan-17 12:20:31

Hi everyone,

I'm currently 24 weeks pregnant with my first baby (DD) and I'm going to be a 'young mother'. I'm 19, and I never planned to have a baby this young, some people I know have been dreaming about having a baby since they were 15, or indeed trying to have one since they were 15! This definitely wasn't the case for me, I found out a few days before I was meant to be going to university that I was pregnant, and have put my plans to get a degree on hold for now. I definitely never wanted a baby at this age, and it's definitely fair to say that when I found out, I considered all of my options, but when I realised how supportive everyone would be, I made the decision to keep it (amongst many other reasons).

So to recap: definitely wasn't planned, had other plans for life and I'm quite young to become a mum (sorry for the rhyme).

But at this stage of pregnancy, I realise that I've never been happier? Is that normal? I really can't wait to meet her, and this hasn't had a negative effect on my relationship with DP (who is also 19). I've just never been this happy, but everyone I know is acting like they feel sorry for me? It doesn't mean I won't go to university, I still plan to (next year), but everyone acts like they feel pitiful for me? I don't mean to sound like a moaning child, but I'm genuinely happier than ever, but I do feel a bit dampened when everyone else acts like my life is over? Or am I just being too optimistic about how my life will be okay? sad

LadyDawn Sun 15-Jan-17 12:43:37

I think that is wonderful news. Congratulations! It seems to be expected for women to have children when they are older, in your 30's probably seeming like the normal. But in my opinion, a women being pregnant and around your age could not be more natural. With your positivity just know how it will reflect in you being a lovely mummy. Everyone around you will get used to it soon enough and see how perfect the timing is really. This is real living smile . Everything else can wait.

user1484383294 Sun 15-Jan-17 12:51:19


I got pregnant with my first at 18 and had him at 19 and it was the greatest thing I've ever done. I also had people feeling sorry for me but it hasn't held me back in the slightest and definitely made my quality of life better. I've since been to university and got my degree and now I'm pregnant with my second. It doesn't hold you back in the slightest, just means you take a different route. People's opinions changed as soon as I had him as well. They could see how happy I was and how wonderful I felt and it rubbed off on them.

Good luck, I'm sure you'll be a great Mum smile

Gardencentregroupie Sun 15-Jan-17 12:57:33

Congratulations smile My DSis was unexpectedly pregnant at 20 and it hasn't held her back at all, she went on to get her degree and Masters and is a very successful professional. It is hard work, but then it's hard work at any age, and honestly at your age you may find pregnancy and babyhood much easier physically than an older mother (my sister definitely noticed her next pregnancy being a lot harder as she was a fair bit older; I am 35 and pregnant and struggling badly, with any luck you are fitter and more energetic than I am!)

reallyanotherone Sun 15-Jan-17 12:58:38

People will assume you won't go back to uni, you'll be stuck low income working round the child, all your opportunities will be lost because you have a child- you'll have more babies, etc..

Not quite the same but many years ago when i was the same age, i deferred uni, befor gap years were a thing.

My mum was devastated. Everyone i met was really disappointed for me, couldn't understand why i "didn't want to" to to uni. I had many, many lectures on how i'd get used to working and not want to give up the money to go back to being a student.

I think people just accept that this is your new path in life, and have no concept that you can change it later.


sj257 Sun 15-Jan-17 13:23:29

Ahh I could have written this myself 11 years ago! I'd just found out I was pregnant at 18. My family were great but 'friends' said some awful things. I was also meant to be going to uni, also considered all my options. But it was the best thing to ever happen to me!

Before I was pregnant I was out drinking and partying 3-4 nights a week, if I'd have gone to uni at that age I would have messed it up!

I had her when I was 19 and then had my son at 21 as I wanted her to have a close sibling. I started my degree when my son started school, graduated with a 2:1 18 months ago ☺ and now baby number 3 is due any day!!! 😂

Ignore all the negative people, you sound very mature. You will come across people your age with children who aren't as mature, but that happens whatever age you are! X

Embra Sun 15-Jan-17 13:23:45

Congratulations , And don't let other people to spoil your happiness! don't worry people will always find a way to make you feel something is wrong) I am 33 and for many years people were "feeling sorry " for me that I don't have kids)

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