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Anyone had a child from a previous relationship now pregnant again and scared?

(12 Posts)
Rose280187 Mon 09-Jan-17 08:49:06

I want to be happy but for some reason I feel like I'm making a big mistake and all I do is cry, I have a dd who's 8, me and her dad are like best friends and I never thought I would have a baby with someone else, my new partner is lovely but a bit immature and financially not ready, I'm 5 weeks pregnant and he's happy but I feel like I'm making a huge mistake.....
I don't want to be part of another broken family sad

MilleniumTalcum Mon 09-Jan-17 10:01:38

I'm 8 weeks. My DP is great and we're ready but I definitely still panic sometimes. Doing it alone was hard and pretty shite in the early stages as much as I love DS. I think it's natural to be a bit fearful of history repeating itself.

Rose280187 Mon 09-Jan-17 10:15:32

MilleniumTalcum
I just worry that things will go wrong and I'll have two children from two different people, it scares me as having a child is a life long thing and if I felt more settled with my dp I'd be happy, but I have to move on with my life I guess and maybe I'm a little scared of commitment.

Gregwar Mon 09-Jan-17 11:53:32

In what way do you find him immature? And have you tried speaking with him about it?

Rose280187 Mon 09-Jan-17 12:15:28

Gregwar - I'm 29, he's just 25, has only just left his parents to move in with me, he isn't good with money, he sits on his phone constantly, his mum done everything for him so he can be lazy and I've tried to help him be organised but he sulks if I moan...
he's such a lovely person and he'd do anything for you but he lacks maturity!!

Gregwar Mon 09-Jan-17 12:49:29

I see. How is he with your DD and does he know you're pregnant?

I've noticed in a lot of people that parenthood often forces people to grow up and mature. I remember finding out some of the most immature people I knew whilst growing up, were pregnant. In the back of my mind I sarcastically wished them good-luck. Catching up with them years later, it was incredible to see the growth that parenthood had forced upon them.

The conception of a child is a very demanding stage and if you're choosing to keep the baby, perhaps give your boyfriend and ultimatum. Let him know all the ins and outs of just the conception part of the pregnancy and then separately what it means to raise a child from the moment it's born. Break down how much everything is gonna cost, how you're going to be, how pregnancy affects you, how you're going to be different etc etc. And let him know that if he can't step up to the mark then he needs to go. Give an opportunity to mature and become a man.

Rose280187 Mon 09-Jan-17 13:47:30

Thanks for the advise, I am going to sit down and have a nice long chat with him maybe tomorrow when I feel less emotional.. x

WynterBlossom Mon 09-Jan-17 21:11:24

I know exactly how you feel OP, I'm 26 Weeks but me & my partner have split....as it stands I don't want anymore kids because I'm scared itll all happen again!

Rose280187 Tue 10-Jan-17 11:43:51

Sorry to hear that WynterBlossom, do you have any other children?

My mum brought me up alone and we are extremely close, I wouldn't of had it any other way really!!

smile

hoddtastic Tue 10-Jan-17 11:45:29

you don't have to have the baby. It will be a link to this guy for the next 2 decades- he doesn't sound great to be honest.

Gregwar Wed 11-Jan-17 09:05:36

Just checking in with you, hows it going? did you manage to speak to your partner?

Rose280187 Wed 11-Jan-17 10:41:01

Gregwar, yes I did!!! he agrees with what I've said, I think having a baby with someone is bigger than marriage and buying a house it's life long, I just don't want to make the wrong decision. I am not wanting to be a single mum to two children either.. thanks for your help in the matter!!!

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