Feeling ready for a baby(9 Posts)
What does / did that feel like for you?
I'm curious. Did you feel a strong "need" to have a baby?
I definitely want children and I adore babies, but I'm not feeling anything yet. I'm nearly 30 so I still have time
For our first child we were happy together had enjoyed a few years of each others company and felt we had room for more. There was no pressure and we just went with it.
However we are now ttc for number two. Im now jealous everytime i see a pregnant lady as i now know thw joy they have to come.
If you want kids i dont think you ever feel ready but dont wait too long. Truly a blessing and your life only changes for the better
We got married and I just wanted one. It felt biological. Like I couldn't stop thinking or planning for one.
I got married last autumn and up until then I never felt like I wanted a baby. In fact I worried that I'd never feel that I'd want a baby. Even though I knew I always wanted children.
However once I was married it was like a switch, I suddenly wanted a baby. For me, I always wanted to be married before children so I think my attention was on marriage rather than having children. Me and Dh are now trying ttc. I'm sure it's what I want but I still have occasional moments of 'am I doing the right thing' but I believe it's normal to be slightly worried.
For me it was more the right time as we had both always wanted children. We were married for almost three years, had bought a family home and been on some exotic holidays and generally felt like we'd got a lot out of our systems! I'm 30 and it took 8 months, and I still have moments of not feeling ready but I know we'll make it work.
Financial security was also important to me. I don't think you ever truly know but there's definitely circumstances which work better than others. My cousin is due in Feb and it was a casual thing, no job but baby is wanted and she has a supportive family and that counts for a lot.
I remember sitting in bed with coffee and the papers and the cat and telling my husband I was bored of this and I was ready to bring a baby into our lives. Fast forward 3 yrs, 2 children plus one coming and I'd cut my finger off to read the papers in bed with a coffee. 😂
But I know this won't last forever so I'll get to read my papers again...some day...
I have no idea. I'm 8.5 months pregnant and still waiting to feel ready!
I was 38 weeks pregnant with DS and just getting into bed, said to him "you know, I'm not sure I'm ready to be a mum quite yet" and POP there went my waters.
But to answer the question..like previous posters I felt settled and happy and like there was someone missing in our family. He is now a 3 year old whirlwind and my best mate and we have another on the way.
I was 32 when we started ttc, married for 8 months, career, mortgage etc. We both wanted kids eventually (my husband from the age of 15!!) but not urgently, and it still felt weird making the decision to try.
I'm still not sure I'm ready to be a mum and I'll be having an ELCS this time tomorrow!
What I would say is don't wait forever for that 'strong need' to present itself. If you feel ready and secure in your relationship and your finances allow, that's good enough for some people! TTC will ALWAYS be a huge decision and there will always be a reason to wait a bit longer.
It took us over 2 years to get pregnant, I wanted a baby before I was 35 (oh well) and we fell pregnant naturally just before IVF was due to start. I don't say this to worry you as you are young, you do have time and everything will most likely be fine, but I was very lucky we started when we did. I was made redundant after we'd been trying for a year but we carried on ttc anyway and eventually got sent for tests. My bloodwork (specifically the AMH) says I'll probably stop producing eggs in a year or two. DH has a major sperm issue too. This baby is a bloody miracle.
All that just to say that you might never feel that 'strong need' you mention, I didn't particularly but I'm SO grateful we started when we did or we might have missed the boat altogether, which would have broken both our hearts.
Good luck when the time comes!
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