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Scared of telling dp I'm pregnant.

(16 Posts)
Itsanothernamechange Sat 07-Jan-17 18:23:29

Just that really.

Background - been together 5 months taking the pill religiously changed pill in November due to af coming every other week.
I have a ds 4 he has a ds 3 from a previous marriage.
Not met his family though they all know about me. This is due to logistics in childcare etc
Anyways today something told me to pos I dont know what or why. Anyway got a positive brought more out of shock same result.
I'm scared to death that when I tell him he'll walk though I think it's un likely as he's at mine more than he's away. He's discussed the future I.e. moving together.
Anyways I'm after a hand hold and some positive stories if anyone has any.
He's away till tomorrow on a stag do so can't tell him till then and im so anxious waiting.

Anyhoooo Sat 07-Jan-17 18:26:49

What makes you think he wouldn't be happy about it? Is this something you've talked about?

Itsanothernamechange Sat 07-Jan-17 18:34:27

No we've not talked about it.

Itsanothernamechange Sat 07-Jan-17 18:36:45

I don't know why I think it.aye because it's still early days. With exp we waited 2 years. Think I'm just scared of the possibility he will walk as I actually really like him alot and feel I may have just buggered this up.

HughLauriesStubble Sat 07-Jan-17 18:38:21

Must be a huge shock for you OP, deep breath, brew and cake for you. I can see why you're scared but best to just come out with it and be done with it rather than tying yourself in knots over it.

ElizabethM49 Sat 07-Jan-17 18:43:29

I found out really late that I was pregnant at an appointment for something else so OH wasn't with me. I cried for hours about telling him, we have been together for five years but were not in an ideal position i.e. We don't even live together (we were teenagers when we got together, I went to uni for two degrees so not earning etc) and in all honesty he was really horrid to me when I told him and really upset me. BUT he did come round. It was just a shock and that's where the nastiness comes from. You'll just need to ride it out I'm afraid. Or he could react in a totally different way. OP is now really excited for the baby!

haveacupoftea Sun 08-Jan-17 00:52:50

Different situation as we were trying (it was me who was really keen though) but i still felt nervous to tell him. Eventually i did and he was like oh..right. not cross but not throwing a party or anything! He has come round a lot since then and is almost as excited as me for baby. The one time he got a bit arsey I pointed out that HE put me in this situation, the baby was made with HIS sperm, and I am carrying HIS child...that shut up him up smile

harleysmammy Sun 08-Jan-17 01:33:20

I was absolutely crapping myself about telling my other half that i was pregnant, was a bit different because we had literally only just left school and was so young but we had been together for 3 years. I worked myself up so much, couldnt even kiss him for weeks because i felt so guilty i was keeping this secret from him. He did walk away and hasnt had contact with me or my son BUT in the end the whole working myself up about telling him thing was so not worth it at all. It was hard when he left but in the end it all boiled down to the best interests of my baby and he was the most important thing. I really dont think your partner will leave, my ex only left because of how young we were but had we been in the same situation as you im 100% sure he would have stayed. But regardless of whether he leaves or not, you'll be a great mam and you should put yourself and the baby first. Just dont get worked up over it (easier said than done i know), get it out in the open and i bet he will be over the moon x

Hellmouth Sun 08-Jan-17 01:54:37

My partner and I were together for only 10 months when I found out. I was renting a flat together with my sister, he was still living with his parents. We had talked about moving in together and trying for a baby in a year as I am a bit older and I didn't want to wait too long.

I took a month to tell him as he was going through a lot of stuff at the time and it nearly broke us up. In the end, his reaction was nothing like I expected. He hugged me and said "I'm going to be a dad" really happily, then went downstairs to tell his parents! All of that worrying for nothing.

I really hope things work out for you.

Sikkinis Sun 08-Jan-17 02:01:17

There's no reason to assume he'll walk unless there are other doubts? I know it's only been 5 months but it's an accident, and sometimes these things happen smile

Perhaps it's positive that he already has a child as he won't be totally flabbergasted and overwhelmed at the prospect of fatherhood.

Sit him down with a cuppa and just say, look, I'm pregnant- explain how (about the pill) and tell him you understand if he needs a bit of time to process

calimommy Sun 08-Jan-17 02:30:52

I'd say don't be thrown by his initial response if it's negative. He may need time to process the information. This pregnancy was unplanned and we have two children, 3yrs & 1yrs, have been married for 5 yrs and together for 12, and very financially stable, but when I told DH the first thing he said was "fuck no" and walked away.
About a day and a half later he was quiet happy about it. I didn't take it personally, I knew he was just shocked.

TheThingsWeAdmitOnMN Sun 08-Jan-17 02:55:33

Congratulations 💐

I hope he takes it well.

If he doesn't, you've dodged a bullet.

It takes two to tango and if he definitely didn't want to get you pregnant he should have been using a condom, so don't you be feeling guilty.

Itsanothernamechange Sun 08-Jan-17 08:51:51

Such kind words thank you all. They've brought a tear to my eye. Feeling a little better today now it's all kind of sunk it. Just need to now wait till he gets here this evening.

Crumbs1 Sun 08-Jan-17 09:03:21

It would be very unfair if he 'blamed 'you since it takes two. He surely won't be that surprised since he is having sex with you and no,contraception is foolproof.

user1482867599 Sun 08-Jan-17 09:05:14

Hi, I hope everything goes okay it's best to be honest and I'm sure he will understand, it's an accident and these things can happen to anybody - sending my love and hope all goes good smile

purpleviolet1 Sun 08-Jan-17 21:37:24

How did it go op? All the best xx

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