Advanced search

Pregnant? See how your baby develops, your body changes, and what you can expect during each week of your pregnancy with the Mumsnet Pregnancy Calendar.

It's ectopic ... heartbroken and lost for words :(

(12 Posts)
Tibbycat Sat 07-Jan-17 16:05:09

Not sure if anyone read my post the other day... i was worried sick as something just didn't feel right. I was right to trust my instincts... little bean is ectopic. 😢 it's about 1cm of tissue mass as he called it :-( my HCG is rising still but I needed time to collect my thoughts so I can home late last night. Husband rushed back from his work trip but sadly not in time to be at the hospital, he was due to be away for 8 days. Very sad and lonely day.

Anyone else been through this? So so hard. The Methotrexate drug is SO toxic. I'm the sort of person who doesn't even touch sweeteners because I think they're toxic enough to process. We don't eat or drink anything manufactured so this prospect is daunting! As is surgery and the loss of a tube. I'm worried about future fertility. I'm heartbroken beyond words sad

Counting my lucky starts for my 4.5 year old who makes me smile every day... I know I'm lucky to have one at all. He has autism and I don't want to die one day and for him to be alone... sorry, this is deep. He and my husband are my world.

cheekyfunkymonkey Sat 07-Jan-17 16:17:07

flowers So sorry op. I have been though this and didn't want to read and run. When it happened to us I was beside myself because it was our first baby and my dsis has fertility issues and I was so scared because they were taking a tube and so desperately sad to be loosing the baby we had dreamed of. The hospital were great but I was presented with reading material trying to reassure me about future conception which just worried me even more because it was talking in terms of years. We tried again the next month and I got pregnant again immediately! We have had to have early (5 wk) scans on both my subsequent pregnancies but all was well with both. It is devestating beyond words but try not to be disheartened about future fertility. I just wanted to let you know my experience in the hope it helps a bit cake

springlike Sat 07-Jan-17 16:19:33

Sorry to hear that news. Didn't just want to read without adding anything. I have been there. I had an ectopic that ruptured and I nearly died. They removed an ovary and a tube and, once I recovered, all I wanted was to know if I would ever have a baby. Fast forward and I am mum to two DS so yes, it is possible. Be positive, get through the next few weeks a step at a time and look after yourself. Good luck!

Hooleywhipper Sat 07-Jan-17 16:19:53

I am so sorry OP flowers

Lovemylittlebear Sat 07-Jan-17 16:24:40

I am so so sorrysad we had an ectopic pregnancy and 2 miscarriages. We since had a healthy little boy and am 29 weeks pregnant. I felt scared and heart broken and didn't think we would be blessed with more but we got lucky. So sorry for your loss but fingers crossed for a more positive future for you all x

dottydee3 Sat 07-Jan-17 16:24:50

Sorry to hear your news op flowers
I did happen to me. The options are methotrexate or surgery, I had the methotrexate and it did work quickly, I felt very tired for a couple of weeks but otherwise was okay. I has since had 2 intrauterine pregnancies and no repeat ectopic so there doesn't have to be future problems.
Take care of yourself at this awful time flowers

Lovemylittlebear Sat 07-Jan-17 16:27:46

By the way I as lucky and had expectant management. I went in for blood tests every 2 days and scans. The hcg increase dropped enough for them to use this method and was low enough to start with (mass small enough), took nearly two-three months until I was no longer clinically pregnant (less than 5) x

kirinm Sat 07-Jan-17 16:39:55

Sorry to hear this. I had methotrexate for my ectopic. It took quite a long time for my HCG levels to start dropping - they actually rose to start with. They did eventually drop but it took a long time and I had to visit the EPU so frequently that one of the nurses sent me a card at the end to congratulate me on my HCG levels getting below 5. (Totally meant in a caring way).

I went for methotrexate as they advised they'd remove my tube if I went for surgery. As my levels never really got that high I went for that. I've since been pregnant 4 times - unfortunately those were miscarriages but scans show there are no problems with my tubes. Unfortunately I'm just one of those who have trouble maintaining a pregnancy. Nothing to do with the methotrexate.

JOMH1982 Sat 07-Jan-17 16:44:42

So sorry to hear you in so much pain. I've had two early losses and a "late miscarriage" at 20 weeks, so I know the pain of a loss and being scared about the future. I know two people who have had an ectopic and gone on to have two children each, so please don't lose hope. Concentrate on yourself and your recovery. Thinking of you xx

InTheDessert Sat 07-Jan-17 17:27:25

I'm so sorry to hear your news.
My first pregnancy was ectopic. I was only offered surgery.
Both my boys were concieved, easily, with just the one tube. It doesn't need to be the end of a journey.
I found the ladies on the ectopic pregnancy trust discussion boards very helpful.
flowers look after yourself.

BagelDog Sat 07-Jan-17 17:34:24

Hi, I had an early miscarriage in my first pregnancy and my second was ectopic. Was going to have methotrexate but then ended up in theatre and lost a tube. Next two pregnancies were gloriously uneventful and conceived first one in the first month of trying, second one in two months. Then another early miscarriage, then pregnant with my third within four months. Planning a fourth now...! But this part sucks. Most people in your life don't even know you are pregnant. If they do know they think as it is so early it isn't a big thing. But to you you have lost a baby, and are also rather freaked out about recurrence in future pregnancies or reduced fertility, so it feels huge. Take it a day at a time, and let yourself take time to get over this, physically and mentally. Sending hugs your way

user1481406249 Sun 08-Jan-17 00:14:57

I'm so sorry for your sad news. I had an ectopic pregnancy 7 years ago. Different circumstances as I didn't actually know I was pregnant as wasn't trying and was on the pill. I went on a holiday of a lifetime to Australia for xmas and new year. Put down tiredness and other possible symptoms to jet lag. Had what appeared to be a normal period but started getting serious pains. Long story short instead of being out celebrating new year and watching the fireworks from Sydney Harbour Bridge I was rushed into theatre with my tube having ruptured and internal bleeding. I lost my tube. I was devastated. And convinced I would never be able to get pregnant again or have a baby. 7 years on having tried for a little while I'm 28 weeks. When I found out I was convinced it was in my remaining tube but had an early scan and he was where he needed to be. I had a little tattoo over the scar where my tube used to be to remember and now it is getting stretched out of shape and will probably look ridiculous but I don't care because it means it did happen for me eventually. So please don't give up hope. Sorry for your loss x

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: