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NCT just cancelled the course i'd booked months ago! Now what?!

(31 Posts)
GretchenFetchem Fri 06-Jan-17 12:20:05

I'm all a fluster and don't know what to do sad

I booked onto an NCT Signature course months ago and it was due to start in February. I've just received an email saying the course didn't generate enough interest and they've therefore cancelled it. They've offered me another course in an area 10 miles away but it's no good because the days and times would mean my husband couldn't go because of his work patterns. That and I booked the course to make friends locally and 10 miles away isn't local in my eyes. I've also checked their website (as they suggested) for other courses but there are none suitable or closer.

Luckily I'd also booked into my local NHS antenatal course so I will still get all the medical information I need from that, but I don't know that it'll help me make friends?

I don't want to be alone for my whole maternity leave. What else can I do? sad

Whatthefreakinwhatnow Fri 06-Jan-17 12:23:02

I've had 3 babies, never did an NCT course.

I made friends at baby groups, by get8bg chatting at the HV clinic etc, it's never been an issue!

SpookyPotato Fri 06-Jan-17 12:27:24

I never did it but didn't feel the need to socialise as partner works from home. If you want to make friends then you can do it at other groups, or there are apps for parents (mush, mummysocial) that find other parents in your area who want to meet up smile

Mrsbadger77 Fri 06-Jan-17 12:30:05

Exact same thing happened to me. I made loads of friends just by going to baby groups etc. If you don't want to be alone on mat leave , you don't have to be.

Frazzled2207 Fri 06-Jan-17 12:31:14

It's not the end of the world. I did make friends but the reality is we're quite spread out and don't see each other much. I made more local and longer lasting friendships at very local baby groups.

SpotTheDuck Fri 06-Jan-17 12:32:06

Honestly some NCT groups click and all become friends, but an awful lot don't. I'm not in contact with any of my NCT group.

My mum friends are people I met in cafes, at the HV weighing sessions, at library rhyme times and at playgroups.

You'll find you meet people really easily - I'd say it's been the easiest period of life to make new friends in since I went to university.

Be friendly, be chatty, don't be afraid to initiate a conversation, and don't panic smile

imsorryiasked Fri 06-Jan-17 12:32:35

Does your local nct group have meet ups? Usually there are groups that you can go along to as a member (or even as a non-member) which are good for socialising.

Deckthehallswithjammydodgers Fri 06-Jan-17 12:32:44

TRY the local board here for making friends also netmums has a meet a mum friend board I met my best friend there and turned out our eldest sons where in same class now our daughters who where babies when we met are in yhe same clas and best friends too x

Frazzled2207 Fri 06-Jan-17 12:33:24

Also, check out local "mums" facebook groups. Only relatively recently discovered mine and it's a wealth of info about what's going on locally.
At your nhs antenatal you could suggest an antenatal fb group or whatsapp group....

plimsolls Fri 06-Jan-17 12:34:26

I've only seen the people I met at NCT twice.

Other ways I met people:
-Mumsnet Antenatal Group (have you joined one on here?). There were 4 of us living in same area so we meet for lunch regularly
-Local parents Facebook group. These groups are usually Closed so only other members can see what you post,not your other friends. There were plenty of local mums with young babies who wanted to meet for walks or coffee
-pregnancy yoga class
-my friends I had prebaby haven't disappeared.

I also find I have less time free than o had imagined. By the time both me and the baby are up, fed, clean, dressed there's not a huge amount of bored time. Babies are like lava lamps anyway-you start looking at them and before you know it, an hour has passed! I am quite lazy and I like time on my own so it suits me. I'm sure if you wanted, you could be up and out the house bright and early!

My baby is nearly 5 months now and I haven't yet gone to any Mother and Baby groups but there's plenty around.

To be honest, I wish I hadn't bothered with NCT. It just stressed me out, for all sorts of reasons. You'll be fine without it.

Frazzled2207 Fri 06-Jan-17 12:34:32

Yes and our nct also runs a local babies and toddler drop in session, don't have to be a member.

TSSDNCOP Fri 06-Jan-17 12:34:36

Consider it a sign. You'll be ££ up, you won't learn anything you couldn't at the NHS antenatal classes, your DP will be ecstatic and you won't have to spend hours in a draughty church hall or some such. Trust me when I say you absolutely won't miss it.

TheLegendOfBeans Fri 06-Jan-17 12:35:16

TRUST ME you don't need the NCT to make chums. IME and that of others it can be a waste of bucks.

My chums have come from local classes - pram fitness, baby sign language, baby singalong at our local library.

I did NCT as I'd just moved to the area and was worried about being lonely pregnant and a bit worried TBH. It didn't really solve that issue. Going to classes from baby being 6 weeks old did.

Don't panic at all. I promise it'll be ok. The NHS classes are basic but life medically honest. You will be fine flowers

Chippednailvarnishing Fri 06-Jan-17 12:37:12

Took me a couple of years to lose the original Nct group I was put with.
I did meet some much nicer people at a NCT meeting which was just a group of new mums a couple of weeks after giving birth, ask them if they are planning one.

TheLegendOfBeans Fri 06-Jan-17 12:37:22

*more (not life ffs)

Blueredballoon Fri 06-Jan-17 12:40:24

I did not do NCT and made lots of friends- playgroups, baby groups, general clubs etc. Spend the money saved on something more fun!

Laineymc7 Fri 06-Jan-17 12:45:20

Don't worry at all, you really don't need it. Lots of new mums in your area will be in the same boat. When you are up to it normally 8+ weeks sign up for free baby massage and other classes at your local childcare centre, rhyme time at the library, baby sensory any baby class going really. I did one paid and a few free a week. I met loads of mums who I still keep in touch with and we are now having or second. I did the free nhs one for the birthing info and that helped with the first birth. Your local children centre or hospital will also provide info on breastfeeding for free. Enjoy the extra money and use it for something you and your new baby will enjoy e.g. Baby swimming. If you Still want to meet people through NCT they may even do a free coffee morning once a week in your area which you can go before and after you've had your baby to meet friends. This is also free. Good luck and congratulations.

Laineymc7 Fri 06-Jan-17 12:48:39

Like plimsolls said pregnancy yoga is also great. You meet other first time mums and learn tips to help in labour. It's relaxing too. Once baby is born you can sign up to mum and baby yoga.

GretchenFetchem Fri 06-Jan-17 12:49:14

Thank you for your responses. I don't have many friends as it is, let alone any with babies, so I thought it was a sure fire way to make them (even if I was paying for the privilege). I guess I was banking on it too much and that's what caused me to panic so much when they told me it was cancelled. Also, I felt I was being super organised by booking it months ago which in turn made me feel like I had a bit of control. That quickly went out the window blush I appreciate the hand holding/ being shaken by the shoulders and told to get a grip!

Thank you also for reassuring me that I won't miss the course. TSSDNCOP it literally was going to be in a draughty church hall! smile I hadn't considered that I'll get a refund either. That'll certainly come in handy!

I'm going to check out all the groups you suggested and start looking into what's available in my area. There's a community centre which could be promising but they're currently trying to shut our local library so I don't know that that's a viable option, sadly.

I don't anticipate having a lot of free time on my hands but just don't want to go stir crazy and climb the walls with cabin fever on those days I want/ need to get out.

DangerQuakeRhinoSnake Fri 06-Jan-17 12:50:14

Yy pregnancy yoga or hypnobirthing group instead.

NameChange30 Fri 06-Jan-17 12:55:10

See if there are any Daisy Foundation, Wise Hippo or hypnobirthing courses near you.

Also look up Birthlight pregnancy yoga, in my area there are loads of classes and they've just started an antenatal course too.

I've done a hypnobirthing antenatal course but I think I'm just as likely to stay in touch with the women I've met at pregnancy yoga. Plus it's just a lovely thing to do!

GretchenFetchem Fri 06-Jan-17 12:57:01

Oh bums! I just realised something! My NHS antenatal course is only 2 weeks before my due date. It was the only date available that didn't clash with the NCT dates, but I wasn't worried before because I'd have definitely done the NCT course by then. I hope my baby doesn't come earlier than that confused

P.s. pregnancy yoga sounds good. I've been doing it on my own at home until now but I could used the money I've saved to go and book a block of classes now.

Clarabell33 Fri 06-Jan-17 13:02:09

I did NCT to make friends and NHS because it was available and I felt I should. Both were useful and made friends with everyone at both... but 2yrs later, I regularly meet up with the NHS mums (with and without toddlers) and rarely bother with the NCT group, partly because they are mostly too far away and none of them were willing to travel far in the early days so it always fell to me to travel to see them, as it was easier for one person with a newborn to travel than say, four of them, sharing two cars hmm

The NHS mums, as well as being very, very local (some live only a street away) are also a more welcoming bunch - our NHS group had 6 of us, but increased through making friends with people we met at playgroups etc to a core of about 11, so it's worked out really well as there is always someone around to talk to and we all make the effort to meet up, proper Christmas nights out and everything wink

It basically all comes down to luck and the amount of effort you put in. So don't worry about NCT - buy something nice with the £££ you've just saved!

NameChange30 Fri 06-Jan-17 13:05:37

You could always change your NHS class booking, now the NCT one has been cancelled there might be an earlier NHS class you can do.

CurlsNoMore Fri 06-Jan-17 13:08:35

Panic not - find a pregnancy yoga course and/or hypobirthing course; lots of lovely people there. Also try your local La Leche Breastfeeding group and visit whilst pregnant - made some lovely friends that way and got fantastic advice and support too https://www.laleche.org.uk

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