Vbac appointment midwife fail

[wineapotamus]

Morning all. I had my vbac appt at 24 weeks, (so six weeks ago) with the consultant midwife. She was very nice but clearly wanted me to choose a vbac rather than the elcs that I would like, but we couldn't have a full proper chat as they mistakenly had my miscarriage notes rather than my dc1 notes. She asked me to call her back in 2 weeks to give her time to find the notes. I called. She was on holiday. I called her when she got back and left numerous messages. I eventually got through to her, she said she'd call me back. No word. I left it over Christmas. I called her on Wednesday. She said she'd call me back. Nothing.
I'm disappointed it has turned out like this, I was ready to give vbac a consider but this has put me off all over again. I have birth anxiety after my terrible first birth and this is causing me to worry a lot about not having a plan for the birth.
My question is, can I ask to speak to someone else? Should I be getting firmer with her? Any advice?

[savagehk]

Personally I'd chase on Monday, it has been holidays etc so likely to take a bit longer, but everything should be back up and running then. If no joy on Monday ask to speak to the supervisor of midwives. You should also be able to have a talk/counseling session with someone about your previous birth.

[hopsalong]

If you don't want a VBAC don't have one. The midwife isn't going to do a c-section. So she's going to be pushing the only form of obstetric care she knows about or gets involved with. Have you not had an appointment with a consultant? I had one yesterday at 23 weeks to discuss mine (not sure but inclining to ELCS after discussing some things that slightly increase possibility of scar rupture) and truly didn't feel I was being pushed either way. The midwives I saw earlier, though, were as you described -- trying to do the hard sell on the VBAC, which I found irritating and in poor taste (I want to be given all available information and to make a balanced choice among risks myself). Not helpful to have people lobbying for one thing or another, when it's not their body or baby.

I would stop chasing the midwife up and phone up the hospital and ask to see a consultant.

[wineapotamus]

Good thinking, I'll leave it til Monday and then call. She is the supervisor of midwives though so don't know who she could pass me on to. I haven't been offered any meetings with a consultant at all. It's driving me mad!

[GreenGoblin0]

How frustrating OP. I had my Vbac/birth options appt with midwife just before Xmas at around 23/4 weeks. the process here is that you speak to the midwife first and if you opt for vbac you stay with the midwives and get booked for a sweep after your due date (sweep has to be done at hospital not by community midwife). if you opt for elcs you then speak to the consultant Dr. which is prob why you haven't seen consultant yet as you couldn't have proper discussion with midwife due to notes problem.

sounds like you've been a bit unlucky with wrong notes then her being on leave etc plus Xmas. I would ring her again on Mon. have you tried speaking to your community midwife about it? you need to be able to have a proper discussion with the senior midwife about the options available to you. I think they do have a tendency to encourage vbac if appropriate but if you really want an elcs they shouldn't stop you

good luck hope you get it sorted.