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Overweight and pregnant.

(11 Posts)
Lucinda15 Tue 03-Jan-17 07:06:34

Hello everyone. I'm 17 weeks pregnant, a little larger than I'm happy about and it's beginning to get me down. I have posted before about this but need a little support.

I lost weight and got down to a healthy BMI when TTC. Then had 4 miscarriages over 18 months and slowly put the weight back on with pregnancy/comfort eating. To be honest I had lost hope so when we TTC for the last time I wasn't expecting to get this far, and didn't lose weight before we tried. I was prescribed steroids due to my MC history, which increased my appetite in first trimester. Also had terrible nausea, only relieved by eating, and an insatiable hunger for all things carby. So now I find myself a large size 16 and 17 weeks pregnant.

I'm in that limbo between having a fat flabby tummy and 'bump'. Nothing looks nice on, I have a weird (what I think is called a) 'B' tummy. Definite bump in lower half, but also a horrible top bump. And everything seems huge; legs, hips, arms. I dread getting dressed for the day and I just feel miserable when I look in the mirror. I have one DS who is 5 and I was only a size smaller than I am now and I felt ok during that pregnancy. Not sure why I'm feeling soooo huge with this one. Everything just feels huge!!

I'm going to go back to slimming world as I know they have a great plan for pregnant ladies approved by midwives. And I'm feeling better now so feel I could follow it well.

But I just feel so ashamed about how I look, and so unattractive. DH says none of it matters, what's important is the baby and that everything is going well with the pregnancy so far. But of course I worry about the health of the baby, my health, gestational diabetes, labour etc etc. And I am just fed up of looking like this. I'd like to look nice but I'm feeling bigger than I ever have before and not even half way. Plus, intimacy has been practically non-existent due to our worries about miscarriage, which hasn't helped my confidence.

I guess I'm just looking for some moral support, and wondering if anyone else out there is feeling the same or trying to lose weight while pregnant too?

Chottie Tue 03-Jan-17 07:16:35

I would suggest speaking to your MW and getting a healthy eating plan recommendation to make sure both you and the baby keep healthy and well.

What is your budget like? would it run to getting a few maternity outfits which flatter you and feel comfortable?

congratulations on your pregnancy flowers

Lucinda15 Tue 03-Jan-17 07:29:28

Thank you. I will be seeing her on Thursday so will talk to her then. I have bought a few maternity bits, but not feeling very confident in them either till my bump gets more defined I think. X

SunshineAllTheWhile Tue 03-Jan-17 07:57:18

Hello, I feel like I'm totally in the same boat... second baby and 18 weeks here - I feel insanely huge (i started out overweight but lost 25lbs before getting pregnant earlier this year but still about 6lbs off the weight I was when I became pregnant with DS1 2 years ago). But, I'd say I was a size 14/16 (all my clothes maternity and non maternity are all in these sizes) but I'm only 5ft1 so I most certainly am truly overweight.

I have had hyperemesis (IV drips in hospital etc) as with last pregnancy but still managed to put weight on?!!! (I lost weight last time!) and I feel awful about myself. It's starting to bring back some bad feelings around an eating disorder I had in my early twenties which I'm successfully fighting (all the puking doesn't help either!).

All in all, I feel like shit about it all, worrying - as you mention, about Gestational Diabetes etc- I'm desperate for time to hurry up so the baby is here and I can get some control back! I curse myself when I'm exhausted (which is all the time) because I'm sure I wouldn't be so tired if I wasn't carrying around all this extra timber!

This post is more to say "I'm with you sister, you're not alone!" But I would second getting some maternity clothes (asos for cheap) - they have made me look & feel more "pregnant" during the limbo stage (but the last 2 weeks have seen significant bump growth so it won't be long now for you I'm sure!).

I too have been thinking about slimming world - is it a specific programme for pregnant women?

flowers we're almost half way! We can do this! Once our babies have arrived safely we can start to take action once and for all smile I'm trying to think of this as the kick up the bum I've needed since I started to stack on weight sad.

Wishing you a healthy and happy rest of gestation mama!

Lucinda15 Tue 03-Jan-17 08:17:28

Thank you so much sunshine for the kind words and support. I'm glad I'm not the only one in this position and giving myself a hard time. I'm sorry you have been so unwell so far, that must be awful. And well done for managing your eating disorder throughout, must be a challenging time for you.

Encouragingly, I have been aching in my tummy and feel it's stretching and growing so I'm hoping bump is getting bigger. I haven't even considered Asos since my early 20's (now 34) but may look into it again! So far I've bought mat jeans from H&M and they have helped minimise the 'B' belly, but do fall down a lot so I feel a bit of a fraud and perhaps not 'pregnant' enough for them yet! I desperately need maternity bras too as I'm popping out of all my ones which dsnt help the 'huge' feeling I have.

I have done slimming world on and off for the last 5 years I suppose and have always managed to stay at a 12/14 that way. I was doing it when I fell pregnant with DS & continued a little while before MS/carb loading took over and i realised I had to eat what I could manage and the diet went the window.

Anyway, yes they have a great plan for pregnant women, it is the only one that midwives recommend. Essentially lots of healthy foods; fruit, veg, lean meats, rice and potatoes all unlimited (not measured or weighed) but you try to have 2/3rds of ur plate 'super free' foods (fruit or veg) and 1/3 free foods (lean meat, potatoes, rice etc). Then you measure 2 portions of what they call 'a' and 'b' choices per day. 'A' choices are calcium foods, so milk, cheese, butter etc etc. And the 'b' choices are fibre foods, so bread, cereals, nuts etc. Anything extra (treats etc) are counted as 'syns' and you are allowed 15 of these a day. For example, a curly whirly is 3 syns. A spoon of honey is 1.5 syns (dnt quote me on that, it's been a while and prob inaccurate but something like that). There is a lot of flexibility and you never feel hungry and baby and you get everything you need. It's a lot of fresh cooking which is best for everyone in pregnancy I suppose. Just takes some organising! I really need to plan my lunches and dinners for the week to get on top of it. Which is why it flew out the window during the MS & fatigue haze in the first trimester.

I'm feeling quite inspired and going to my local group tonight to start up again, as I just have to get this sorted. Can't stand feeling so miserable about how I look.

Thanks for the encouragement, I'm with u too!! We can do this, if not now, when babies are here and we have more control lol!! Xx

Myusername2015 Tue 03-Jan-17 09:08:32

Snap I could have written this post! You could actually be me; I'm also 17 weeks pregnant and so depressed as I just look fat rather than a bump...I'm also a large size 16; my maternity clothes don't make me look pregnant and I've been so upset this morning to find out I've piled on weight at Christmas. Back to sw tonight for me as well. Sending you hugs I get it x

Sparklyuggs Tue 03-Jan-17 09:33:14

Your husband is right, what matters right now is health and the baby bump will come!

A healthy eating plan is a great idea, and can you manage gentle exercise? It will get the endorphins going, I drag myself out for a 30 minutes walk each day and it definitely helps.

ASOS maternity clothes are great, and I normally find them far too skimpy. They have a sale on too but I felt better once I had a pair of cool maternity jeans and a couple of dresses which don't look like a sack.

sj257 Tue 03-Jan-17 10:52:42

Please don't feel so down on yourself. I've got a high bmi and worried myself sick earlier on in my pregnancy. I'm 37+6 now, have had two GTT tests, I don't have GD. I've only put just over a stone on as well.

Once your bump is bigger I'm sure you'll feel better. It's hard at that stage because you just feel fat rather than pregnant. Just be mindful of your eating and you won't put too much on x

SunshineAllTheWhile Tue 03-Jan-17 11:02:17

Thank you for all the info on the slimming world programme Lucinda - time to take action!

Some (possibly) helpful advice re: asos, I ordered all in a size 14 and they all had room to spare so you may need to get the smaller size even though you might not feel at your slimmest right now!

I'm 34 too and I made a slightly risqué choice of some "wet look" leggings (like all the cool kids have been wearing for ages) but because I didn't get "petite" for the shorter length they're on the baggy side & my husband keeps singing Whitesnake at me since I dared to venture out in them blush. Serves me right for trying to be cool!

Keep in touch Lucinda! Thank you for the inspiration too - going to get organised with my food! xx

Lucinda15 Tue 03-Jan-17 11:44:30

Thank you ladies for the messages and support!! Sooo nice to know I'm not the only one out there. Keep seeing slim women with lovely neat bumps and feeling the shame of my flab!! I am going to check out asos (and maybe try a smaller size as what maternity clothes I do have seem to swamp me or fall down, that wld be a revelation to discover I've bought a size too big 😂) That really made me laugh about the leggings sunshine lol!! Yeah, I'm sooo not down with the kids anymore and will steer clear!!

Will head off to slimming world tonight too myusername, hope it goes well for u. I'm dreading the long queues for weigh in tho at this time of year!! But have just been to supermarket and have stocked up on some staples for the week ahead!!

Walking is brilliant sparklyuggs, went on a lovely long walk yesterday in the (chilly) sunshine and did me the world of good. Might be bit tricky fitting that in around work (full time) but I'm gonna do my best to get a little exercise in this way.

Feeling so much brighter, thank you all. Xxx

PinkUnicorn1990 Wed 04-Jan-17 15:58:42

I know how you are feeling Lucinda I felt so fat when I was earlier on (I'm a size 16-18) and my cravings for everything stodgy and full of carbs didn't help!
Now 27 weeks and feel so much better as I have more of a bump ( still a B bump but getting there!) and felt very happy that a random stranger acknowledged I was pregnant today!
Surprisingly I've only put on just over a stone too, so although I would have liked this to be less, it's not as much as I thought!!

I'm using MyFitnessPal now just to track my food so I can try not to over eat smile

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