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Hen Do at 36 weeks

(35 Posts)
moonoverthewater Mon 02-Jan-17 15:25:22

Hi all just after a bit of advice as I have no idea how I will feel at 36 weeks.
This is my first baby and I'm currently 22 weeks. The hen do is for 2 nights and a 2.5 hour drive away. I could get the train but if I drove I could take my hospital bag and notes in case plus stop as much as I need to.
Would you go?

Lilaclily Mon 02-Jan-17 15:26:55

I think you will be fine , first babies don't usually come early

I'd just wonder if you'd enjoy it? Is it a club and stripper type hen or treatments and spa day type thing?

kmini Mon 02-Jan-17 15:27:50

No, not really worth the stress unless it's a super close friend. Then maybe ok to push yourself. Super effort at that stage.

moonoverthewater Mon 02-Jan-17 15:30:13

Thank you for the replies.
It's a mix of things. Afternoon tea, meal out, cocktail making (I could have mocktails), an outdoor thing i would not do and a dance class I wouldn't do but would enjoy being part of the weekend. There is a night in one night and a night out the second which I won't do and just retire after the meal I should imagine.
It's just hard to know how I will feel nearer the time especially as I have no experience!

ElspethFlashman Mon 02-Jan-17 15:34:22

Driving would be fine, after all most people are still driving to work at 36 weeks.


You'll kinda hate it and wish you hadn't bothered. Not to be negative, but 36 weeks is when you hit the wall of needing it to be over and realising you still have a whole fucking month to go.

And you won't be able to bop around on a dancefloor that easily, you won't be able to go for long post lunch walks in the area, you won't be able to get squiffy and tell everyone you love them, you honestly do, no I mean it, it's not just the sex on the beach talking promishhhh.

And at 36 weeks even pregnancy massages have lost their appeal as you can't lie down in any position comfortably and you feel huge and yuck.

SerialReJoiner Mon 02-Jan-17 15:35:32

It's hard to say; I felt fine at 34 weeks but got hit by a truck once that last calendar month started looming. I was intending to go to a relaxing retreat at 37 weeks but when it came to the point I really couldn't face it.

Can you provisionally book yes, and then see how you feel closer to the time? When I'm closer to my edd I just want to stay near home.

moonoverthewater Mon 02-Jan-17 15:37:03

Thank you for the honest replies, it's good to have an insight into how I might be at that stage.
I think I'll see when the final payment is due as if I back out before then I can get my money back.
I would like to make the effort but do worry how I might be!

pastabest Mon 02-Jan-17 15:52:52

I'm 36 weeks now and have had a very easy pregnancy and I'm still feeling pretty good and not 'I want this to be over' at all, although I am aware that is unusual.

I would physically be perfectly capable of going along to something like that now and joining in with the non drinking/active bits, HOWEVER I absolutely couldn't be arsed with the hassle and stress of it, and wouldn't find it much fun watching everyone else get drunk.

Also, by that stage you will probably have a nest of pillows set up in your own bed to try and help you sleep, it's unlikely you would be able to replicate that easily elsewhere grin

If it was a bit closer I would probably be tempted to go along for the afternoon tea/meal type bits but but 2.5 hours is too far.

moonoverthewater Mon 02-Jan-17 16:17:57

Thanks, it is a shame it's not a bit closer so I could sleep in my own bed at least!
Already love my pregnancy pillow!!

SarahOoo Mon 02-Jan-17 16:42:45

My sister in law to be's hen do is when I am 39 weeks so I'm only doing the afternoon tea part (IF I feel baby is snug!) and it's only into London and I live on the outskirts.

Based on how I feel now at 25 weeks I wouldn't go away for a weekend at 36 weeks but I'm one of the 'I hate pregnancy' people!

LexieLulu Mon 02-Jan-17 16:46:10

I think it depends on you and your pregnancy. My first pregnancy was lovely and I could easily/happily attended.
Towards the end of my second pregnancy I was in constant agony and exhausted.

How far gone will you be by the final payment?

Obsidian77 Mon 02-Jan-17 16:47:44

I wouldn't go, you won't believe how tired you'll be and ready for it all to be over. You won't be sleeping well, your back will be sore, baby will be pressing against your lungs, you might have bad heartburn. If it were a one day thing fine but an away trip, too tiring. You might even have had your baby by then.
Stay home, rest and save your money. Good luck.

PigletWasPoohsFriend Mon 02-Jan-17 16:52:29

I wouldn't go, you won't believe how tired you'll be and ready for it all to be over. You won't be sleeping well, your back will be sore, baby will be pressing against your lungs, you might have bad heartburn.

The thing is you might of you might not be.

I was like this. My DSis and DSIL were completely the opposite however. Both went to various hen dos at 35 and 36 weeks pregnant and we're absolutely fine.

Obsidian77 Mon 02-Jan-17 17:07:47

op might feel great and if she does, she could maybe drive over one of the days but there's a ton of scheduled activities and it sounds quite full-on.

Oysterbabe Mon 02-Jan-17 17:11:18

I wouldn't, but then I went into labour with my first at 35+5.

annlee3817 Mon 02-Jan-17 17:18:22

I went to my best friends hen do at 36 weeks, it was just the day and night, my feet were very swollen and I did struggle, I didn't stay over and my husband drove the hour to pick me up at around 11pm. I was so happy to get home and in my own bed. I went on another hen weekend and one of the girls was 30 weeks, she was fine and joined in the night out but left early and avoided activities that she couldn't do. Everyone is different

moonoverthewater Mon 02-Jan-17 17:32:36

I think I'll see about when the final payment is due then decide.
Thanks all for your experience at that stage

Trulyamnearanear Mon 02-Jan-17 17:35:59

with my first i went to my db's wedding at this stage. Similar distance and lots going on and I was fine. Now 36 weeks with my second and I wouldn't have the stamina. It just depends.
Would you lose much if you had to pull out? Would it be worth it even if you did?

Brown76 Mon 02-Jan-17 17:38:41

Sounds knackering. I'm 35 weeks, drove today but had to pull over because of Braxton Hicks. Could you use the money to take the bride to be out for a nice meal near home?

Oysterbabe Mon 02-Jan-17 17:48:04

When is the wedding?

moonoverthewater Mon 02-Jan-17 17:48:13

A meal is a nice idea if I decide not to go. I've already paid £200 as it includes the hotel. Think I could get some refunded.

The second dilemma is the wedding is 2 weeks after my due date. I have no idea how I will feel. I am mostly concerned of the fact the bride and groom will have to pay for me and my husband and to cancel last minute would be harsh. Any suggestions?
I did think about just going to the church and not going to the wedding reception. Who knows how I will be, might even be overdue.

Oysterbabe Mon 02-Jan-17 18:11:35

There's no chance in hell I'd have been able to go to a wedding 2 weeks after birth, I'd only have been out of hospital for days for a start. It's impossible for you to know whether you'd be OK to go. You might have sailed though or be recovering from a c-section.

moonoverthewater Mon 02-Jan-17 18:20:18

Thanks Oyster, that's what I'm thinking and when I realistically think how will I feel after birth I can't see me be enthusiastic about a full wedding. And don't want to let them down last minute. I'm sure my friend will understand.

ElspethFlashman Mon 02-Jan-17 18:30:06

Not a hope in hell of a wedding 2 weeks later!

You'll still be bleeding heavily and will possibly have stitches. And you'll be shattered No way.

(Also I went 10 days over with my first!)

But probably your DH can go if it's local enough. You'd probably manage at home on your own.

McBaby Mon 02-Jan-17 18:35:04

I would be honest with the beige and groom and tell them you will come if you can. You may feel totally fine and happy to take a small baby in a sling who could be 2-4 weeks old. Or you may not and only have a baby who is hours old.

With the hen party I would put off making the decision for as long as you can you might be fine or you might not. You could always go for the first night in then come home.

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