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My pregnancy feels non existent to others

(8 Posts)
Whitechester Sat 31-Dec-16 18:48:15

Due any day and to be honest, other than by my OH and perhaps one or two friends, my pregnancy has felt
Non existent to everyone around me.

My parents haven't really taken any interest, asked any questions, how I'm doing and nor have friends.

In fact if you asked either when my due date was etc, they would not have a clue.

I went out on a girls night lastnight. Not one of the 7 friends even mentioned my pregnancy and asked how I'm doing.

I was incredibly ill the other week and was in so much pain and discomfort. My midwife and doctor were concerned. I felt so incredibly lonely.

I know I shouldn't care, but it's just upsetting that friends that are my closest just don't seem bothered.

Evergreen777 Sat 31-Dec-16 18:52:48

Have your friends for children of their own yet? I found those who didn't weren't really very interested in pregnancy, and didn't have much to say about it. A baby is a bit more real to them though so some were more interested once DC was born.

Your parents lack of interest is a bit more odd. Do they generally take no interest in your life? Or have concerns about your choice of partner or decision to have a baby? If the latter, they may come round once the baby is born.

Congratulations by the way!

Whitechester Sat 31-Dec-16 18:59:13

Yes they have. It's just that I feel that if I was to announce I was getting a puppy they'd be more interested!!

I have my own children and I know I would show interest - and have done to friends. I have offered support throughout their pregnancies.

I text today to say my anxiety is starting to kick in as to how I'm going to cope. No one responded!

My parents like my partner. They've not said anything how I'm doing or anything.

To be honest, one friend
Has been cracking and been amazing - you just assume that friends would be happy for you.

Evergreen777 Sun 01-Jan-17 08:57:15

If you've got at least two children already then I guess the novelty has worn off so to speak and maybe they're assuming you know what you're doing being pregnant and it's not so exciting. Sometimes people are baffled why anyone would want more than two DC, or if they would like more but circumstances make that difficult then they're a bit jealous and unsympathetic to the strains of pregnancy.

Sounds like you're best to share how you're feeling mainly with your one good friend

HeadElf Sun 01-Jan-17 09:04:57

Your friends are really shit.
All of mine were super interested during my twin pregnancy and I had no end of offers when the babies arrived they'd come and help, offered when they arrived to pop in and help with ironing or to help me with them or give me a ten minute break.

No one ever did.
A few popped in for a quick newborn cuddle and expected me to make them tea and take photos for them, they then fucked off with their novelty newborn twin photos.
None of these 'friends' have ever did anything to help me or support me.
When I was feeling super alone with two babies and DH back to work I kept thinking, so and so offered to pop in and help, I'll text them - I'd never get a reply. I was so depressed and lonely.
I'd never expected any help but when everyone made a huge deal offering I thought actually it'd be great.

I wish they hadn't bothered being falsely interested in me during my pregnancy, they really let me down.

Anyway I guess what I'm trying to say is at least they are showing their true colours now and not when you need them the most!

AverageJosephine Sun 01-Jan-17 09:05:24

Ah, the third child! Yep, most people don't care unfortunately. Try not to take it to heart, your new baby will be a fantastic addition to your family but the pregnancy is probably not that interesting to people now it's #3. My SIL is pregnant with #2 and I feel sad for her that nobody seems to be anyway interested about it. It's not being discussed or chatted about in the family generally. So I've been checking in on her lots and making sure to chat loads about how exciting it is. But I think people, even family lose interest. And I suspect my SILs pregnancy is not getting much airtime as she is relying heavily on MIL for the first baby and MIL is overwhelmed and exhausted recently. Also there's other big things going on in the family.

haveacupoftea Sun 01-Jan-17 10:24:45

If it helps, i'm a FTM and my own mother has yet to pick up the phone and ask me how I am hmm

My friends are excited for me and feign interest but I know they don't really care that much so am trying not to be a baby bore.

Thankfully my sister is over the moon and I have other family too.

sj257 Sun 01-Jan-17 11:26:56

I found this a bit when I was pregnant with my second, there's a small age gap between him and my first and nobody seemed as interested or excited as they had been the first time! This one is number 3, but with a nearly 9 year age gap now it seems to have made everyone excited again lol

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