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Selective reduction for medical reasons

(8 Posts)
Mayray85 Fri 30-Dec-16 10:15:11

Does anyone have any experience of this? We found out at our dating scan that one of our identical twins had Anencephaly (skull and brain not developed) and won't survive outside the womb. We have to choose between having both knowing one will only survive a few hours, if that, or travel to London (we live in Gateshead) for a procedure to terminate one of them by cutting off its blood supply via radiofrequency (I think). I've found a few stories online, mostly in America, of people who have carried both but none of anyone who has had the procedure. I don't know what we're going to do and we're both completely heartbroken.

sj257 Fri 30-Dec-16 10:17:57

I'm so sorry you're going through this, I haven't had any experience, just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you flowers

Spam88 Fri 30-Dec-16 11:11:39

Oh no I'm so sorry sad

No experience to share, but the things I would be thinking about would be whether either of those options pose a risk to the other baby, and whether if carried to term the poorly baby would suffer.

Mayray85 Fri 30-Dec-16 11:14:15

The doctors have advised that both carry similar risks to the healthy baby, so that doesn't really factor into the decision. What it comes down to is what we feel best to deal with emotionally I suppose. Not sure how I'd cope with either though!

Waterfeature Fri 30-Dec-16 15:59:50

I have a friend who carried a baby with anencephaly to term. She knew but chose to do it that way. From the outside, I get the impression that it was very hard but also a very helpful experience for them. They were able to hold and name the baby. They have older children who also shared his short life. Obviously it was painful but they were able to grieve. Nurses put a hat on baby so he looked "normal".

Waterfeature Fri 30-Dec-16 16:02:26

Sorry, was being hassled so posted too soon. I'm so sorry you are going through this. Very very tough.

kmini Fri 30-Dec-16 17:09:04

Oh goodness me, that is beyond tough. Sending positive thoughts.

AerodactylsAssemble Fri 30-Dec-16 21:03:46

Yes, this time last year I was making the same heartbreaking decision as you seem to be weighing up now. There is a thread in antenatal choices that discusses this (currently at the top as another poor mumsnetter is going through this right now along with you)... my story is in that thread (though my username has changed since). Also might be worth talking to ARC, which is a charity that helps families through these types of situations.

Feel free to PM me if you want to chat about anything specific.

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