Husband just told me he didn't want second baby when 31 weeks pregnant?(3 Posts)
I am not sure what to do or who to turn too. I am currently 31 weeks pregnant and me and my husband have been constantly arguing over little things for the whole pregnancy. I think I have finally found the route cause of all his anger and resentment towards me as he keeps saying 'you got your own way'and 'I never wanted another baby.' . We have a 2,5 year old son. His behaviour has changed and he is going out more with friends and acting like he doesn't have a family. When I say that he should maybe keep those feelings to himself seem as though I am near my due date he says he just wants to be honest and he will be there for me and the baby but fears with 2 children under 3 years of age he won't be able to go out with friends and do his hobbies as much as he does now with just the one child.
I find this completely selfish as it takes two to make a child and although we tried it did catch us both by surprise. My husband now says he only went along with it to make me happy which is a disgrace as he now resents me and our soon to be here second child. It is causing real arguments and stress for us both and I don't know whether I should just leave him as it's caused me to question why I am with him the way he is behaving towards me. I am worried about my son being around for these arguments all the time and the impact it is having on him. He says he won't leave me and loves me and the baby but then keeps saying you got your own way. I feel like this resentment if not now will cause more problems when the baby is born due to his lack of being able to go out with friends again and losing freedom. He was happy with one child as I did everything but he now realises with another he will have to take on more responsibility and this will restrict him.
I have not told any of my friends or family as I am hoping he would change his mind but the arguments are getting more intense and verbal every week the baby gets closer.
Any advice greatly appreciated?
I don't want to be rude but having grown up in a house hold with constant arguments and resentment I'd say you have to think about your children. It has a lasting effect of me and my relationships with men. I'm now in a healthy loving relationship but it has taken time. I still do little things that I think will stay with me like getting a fright or jumping when people slam a door or shout ECT. I wasn't physically abuse or anything just parents constantly arguing and resenting each other.
Maybe try fixing it with him? Counciling or something but if nothing changes then I'd leave. Sorry if that's harsh
Sounds like he's worried about the change to his life that a new baby will bring. I think a lot of mums have these wobbles too, however he isn't going about talking about it in the right way. Can you sit down with him and calmly talk about how it's making you feel? Men don't always have the same bond that we do with unborn babies xx
Join the discussion
Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.Register now
Already registered with Mumsnet? Log in to leave your comment or alternatively, sign in with Facebook or Google.
Please login first.