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Feeling the pressure...

(6 Posts)
Kelsey28 Tue 27-Dec-16 10:21:27

I'm not sure what I'm seeking here, maybe other to say they feel the same? I'm 23 weeks pregnant with my first baby. But she is also first grandchild on both sides, first great grandchild, first niece ect. Everyone has completlty spoilt her at Christmas and I've spent the last two days hearing about how excited everyone is for her arrival. The problem is that during one of many night of insomnia I stumbled across three Instagram accounts of people who lost their babies during the third trimister. They all said something along the lines of "I can't believe how stupid I was to think I would have a living baby". I can't get it out my head. Whenever anyone says "when she gets here"' I have a little voice say "if she gets here." I just feel like I'll let so many people down if the worst does happen. Sorry for the ramble.

Notyetthere Tue 27-Dec-16 10:44:26

Kelsey I think we all a momen like that so normal for you to feel like that. I had a miscarriage back in September and now at 13 wks but I was like that, "if baby gets here" or "all being well..." but then it occurred to me one day, you can't plan for disaster. We have to assume everything will be fine this time. The statistics are on your side, there are more successful pregnancies than failed ones. And don't worry about disappointing the family. They will love and support you if things go wrong. You will at some point have to think about baby clothes, nursery furniture, prams, etc. If we weren't hopeful then we be very unprepared when baby arrives.

Blueroses99 Tue 27-Dec-16 10:44:58

I'm in the same situation as you in that my child would be first grandchild, first niece/nephew on both sides too. But sadly I did lose my baby at 21 weeks for reasons totally unforeseen but preventable. I should have had a 5 week old at Christmas (I am 8 weeks pregnant which heals some but not all of the pain). Unlike you though, I thought my struggle was over after years to conceive and that pregnancy was the easy bit, so I had no awareness of all the things that could go wrong after the first trimester.

First of all, you wouldn't be letting anyone down if the worst happened - please don't think that, everyone would be very supportive.

But more importantly, it's good to be cautious but the odds are in your favour that everything will be fine. Make sure you get medical attention if you have the slightest concern.

I had the opposite problem over Christmas in that everyone else is too cautious to be excited for my second pregnancy.

Sorry for rambling, I hope I haven't upset you, I was trying to reassure.

cockermum85 Tue 27-Dec-16 10:47:15

I totally understand what you mean. These terribly tragic things do happen but I think we have to just do everything we can to keep healthy and really we never know what life will throw at us.

I'm 31w and have had a poor pregnancy experience, GD, hyperemesis... totally worn out!
My only advice is to try to look forward to what's to happen because of the worst does happen (and it is not common past 23w) you will deal with it then. Xxx

Evergreen17 Tue 27-Dec-16 10:59:00

The pressure sucks. I suffer from anxiety and had antenatal depression for a few weeks and getting better now but Christmas have been hard.
FIL is such an awkward person and for a whole hour all he said "wow your mum's first grandchild. Wow well done "insert DH's name here" wow first grandchild wow well done.
FOR AN HOUR
and the anxiety has crept in now. What if there is no baby at the end?
I know what you mean OP but these thoughts wont help me cope for the remaining weeks so I will focus on that the chances of having a healthy bubba are far greater
And try to remember it is our baby not theirs.
sad

Backhometothenorth Tue 27-Dec-16 11:07:02

I think every pregnancy brings moments of great hope and joy AND moments of terrible worry and doubt. I cannot recommend pregnancy yoga enough - I found it a massive help in keeping me positive and teaching me to take each day as it comes. All the best to you for a happy, healthy pregnancy.

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