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Verbal abuse & miscarriage

(21 Posts)
Mrscrabtree Wed 21-Dec-16 19:24:23

Hi all, I'm 5 weeks pregnant with my first baby after trying for 3 years then 2x IVF. At work this afternoon I had to deal with a threatening and verbally abusive patient for about 30 minutes and so my body was in fear mode for this long, my heart was racing and adrenaline pumping the whole time. It was horrible. I wasn't physically hurt. But I am now terrified that this acute stress will make me miscarry. I remember seeing a news story about a woman who miscarried after she was mugged due to the stress. I know no one can be sure whether I will miscarry or not but how likely do you think this is as a result of this afternoon? I also feel really guilty about not removing myself from the situation sooner and like it will be my fault if I do lose the baby. I couldn't tell anyone at work that I'm pregnant obviously as it's so early. Any advice or thoughts? I'm scared x

SexTrainGlue Wed 21-Dec-16 19:28:41

You know, babies are born in war zones, in refugee camps and in all sorts of adverse circumstances.

Don't fret.

What you describe really isn't going to precipitate a miscarriage (or at least not one that wasn't going to happen anyhow)

Really, don't fret flowers

Whatsername17 Wed 21-Dec-16 19:37:39

Miscarriage is usually due to chromosomal issues. I lost a baby and wracked my brains to pin point what I did that caused it. The truth is, there is nothing that I did. Your horrible day will not have any bearing on your developing baby. It must be horrendous after such a battle to get pregnant. I'm now almost 36 weeks along. When I was 6 weeks I went through hell on earth and had constant stress and upset for several weeks. It didnt affect the baby though. Have a nice bath, a non alcoholic beer and try to relax. flowers

PotteringAlong Wed 21-Dec-16 19:41:09

There is no likelihood at all that what happened this afternoon will make you miscarry. None whatsoever. As a pp said; people have babies in war zones, refugee camps, in abusive relationships where they suffer sustained abuse daily. You might still miscarry, but it will not be linked at all.

Mrscrabtree Wed 21-Dec-16 19:52:12

Thank you so much for your kind replies. It is really helping. I appreciate it. I am trying to keep calm and relax. I think I'm still feeling shocked by it too and maybe it's triggered me to feel a bit tearful about everything we've been through recently. I'm taking your words on board. Thank you flowers

Dozer Wed 21-Dec-16 19:54:35

That sounds awful. It's unlikely though that stress causes mc, eg according to specialist prof lesley regan's book on it.

Miscarriage is not "usually" due to chromosome issues by the way whatsername.

Whatsername17 Wed 21-Dec-16 20:12:32

That was what the hospital told me when I miscarried? Im repeating what i was told. Miscarriage is hideous, I don't want to upset anyone or get into an argument. I was just trying to reassure the op that feeling scared or stressed will not cause her to miscarry.

Whatsername17 Wed 21-Dec-16 20:16:26

Chromosomal was the wrong word. I meant genetic.

I'm almost 36 weeks so baby brain in full on. Hopefully this will help put your mind at rest, op.

Mrscrabtree Wed 21-Dec-16 21:23:05

Thank you xx

Mrscrabtree Thu 22-Dec-16 20:40:44

By the way just as an update I found this article which is a bit scary. I haven't had any bleeding yet but I have had constant bad cramps and I am still worried. I am still trying to keep your reassurance on board.

Prettybaffled Thu 22-Dec-16 20:47:29

Mrs crab. It is very very unlikely that the stress has caused you to mc. I am going to post more in a minute but sending you some flowers and an un mn hug while I type the rest of what I want to say

Prettybaffled Thu 22-Dec-16 20:51:19

my understanding is that acute stress can, rarely, cause Mc. There was a very well documented case of a traffic accident where iirc a woman was almost hit by an out of control vehicle and then immediately mc. But this is incredibly rare and cramping is normal in early pg. the fact that you have no spotting makes it very unlikely you are mc.

Do you have an early scan booked in at the ivf clinic? We had fertility treatment booked in (not ivf), got pg naturally but they wanted us to still come in for a 6 week scan.

Prettybaffled Thu 22-Dec-16 20:55:05

I wonder if it might be worth you being honest about your pg and how vulnerable you understanly feel with your line manager. I had awful morning sickness so had to tell at 7 weeks. Could you cut the consultation short another time?

I'm sorry if these are bad ideas - just mentioning in case they may help.

Lilly948204 Thu 22-Dec-16 21:14:31

Don't worry about cramps they are normal in early pregnancy, I had them on and off until about 7 weeks. Also don't worry about stress, that is really unlikely to impact your baby at this early stage.

Lilly948204 Thu 22-Dec-16 21:18:33

Btw I just read your link and it seemed to suggest miscarriage might be triggered by stress causing problems with the placenta but at 5 weeks the baby isn't using the placenta for anything so I wouldn't worry xx

Mrscrabtree Thu 22-Dec-16 21:21:26

Thank you Prettybaffled. I do really appreciate you taking the time to reply. I know I am being irrational, it's just so hard after wanting this for so long! Yes we have a scan in 2 weeks at 7 weeks so I just have to hang on til then. And you're right, if everything was ok with the scan I think I will tell work earlier than usual so I can be excused from certain parts of my job because it's not worth the worry. I'm going to do everything I can to never put myself in a similar situation again. I guess I just have to keep my fingers crossed I've got away with it this time, and if not then I will be better prepared next time xx

Mrscrabtree Thu 22-Dec-16 21:23:01

Thank you Lilly, I appreciate your words. I hope you're right. I am trying to absorb all of your confidence! Xx

originalusernamefail Thu 22-Dec-16 21:26:00

If you work in hospital I would just tell your line manager OP. Then they can re-assess and make adjustments for you as necessary. My manager knew from 6 weeks with both my DC as I was off with HG. Prolonged stress isn't good for anyone but one episode won't harm your baby. I was involved in several arrest calls in early pg ( that gets the adrenaline going!) and both my lads are fine.

Co-incidentally I got rotten 'stretching' cramps / pains around the 6-8 week mark which felt like a period coming on, maybe this is what you are feeling?

Mrscrabtree Fri 23-Dec-16 07:58:16

Thanks original, that's reassuring about your cramping and the crash calls. I hope that's all the cramping is. Yes I think I will have to do that at work, good plan x

Prettybaffled Fri 23-Dec-16 08:25:23

Glad to hear you have a plan and hope you are feeling better.

I think early pg is understandably an anxious time for anyone who has been down the fertility clinic route. What helped us was listening to a relaxation every night - might be worth a go?

Mrscrabtree Fri 23-Dec-16 09:45:06

You're right, it is just so hard not to worry after everything you go through to get to this point. It all feels so fragile. Thanks, yes I have some hypnotherapy tracks that I find helpful so I will take those up again x

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