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How to tell my parents!?

(5 Posts)
babyunicornvomit Fri 16-Dec-16 20:24:19

OK to give some layout - I'm 8 weeks pregnant. I'm only 20 (partner is 26) and my pregnancy was unplanned, but after the initial shock we're both so happy about it as I thought I could never have children!

The problem: my parents. We told his parents at the weekend and they were overjoyed for us. My parents are... different. They're very judgementall, very old-fashioned. Example: after a 3 year relationship, he had to sleep in the spare room when he stayed over. I live at uni (finishing my degree in March) yet they expect me to text them to let them know where I am all the time. They constantly moan about 'young pregnant girls' and how much they hate 'children out of wedlock' - although my boyfriend's parents were never married for years and they undeniably did a better job than mine.

Anyhow - how do we tell my parents and how do we argue with them when they tell me I'm immature/childish/ruining their Christmas by doing this etc. They always try to make things about themselves and will definitely do it with something like this. Its making me miserable as I'm so happy about this pregnancy and know we'll make great parents. Thanks x

Wiggleyfingers Fri 16-Dec-16 21:53:57

Try going in on a positive straight away. If you explain how happy you both are about your exciting news it will make it more difficult for them to disapprove. Go in expecting them to ask questions and doubt you, then have some lines prepared to fight the negativity!

Shainamarpia Fri 16-Dec-16 22:30:00

You're only 8 weeks so if you're really worried and want to think of a good way of telling them then people usually wait until after 12 weeks.
Remember this is your life and whatever happens this will be your baby for the rest of your life and I'm sure will be worth whatever shirt lives drama there will be in the grand scheme of things.
As for telling them I always find it easier to write everything I'm trying to get out down on paper so maybe you could write them a letter with all your feelings and explain things and leave it open to them to talk to you? I know not ideal and not how it's usually done but then again you have to be selfish in pregnancy and try not get yourself too stressed out and worry to much. You'll have enough to worry about.
Hope it goes well for you
Congratulations on your pregnancy smile

Shainamarpia Fri 16-Dec-16 22:30:40

I mean selfish as in you have to worry and take care of yourself first x

Obsidian77 Fri 16-Dec-16 22:39:01

Aren't about 50% of children nowadays born "out of wedlock" (hideous expression)?
You're an adult, you live away from home and you haven't done anything wrong.
I'd always rather tell people straight away, I hate that nagging feeling of trying to keep a secret.
As your parents, sure they can have hopes and expectations for you but it's your life. There are worse problems to have than an adult daughter getting pregnant.
If they're really dramatic about things anyway, be prepared for an exit, eg you and DP tell them then say ok, we have to go to the shops, I'll give you some time to think about it then we can talk later.
If you end up relying more on your OH's parents then so be it. Enjoy your pregnancy and congratulations.

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