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Telling friends

(12 Posts)
huffwoof Wed 14-Dec-16 07:52:32

How would you tell friends who are actively TTC without success as yet about an accidental pregnancy? I'm conscious of not wanting to hurt/upset them but I can't keep it under wraps forever either....

DustOffYourHighestHopes Wed 14-Dec-16 07:57:51

We told by email a week or couple of days before we met them. Then we have the warmth of personal contact, yet gives them time to absorb it.

RoseBud2016 Wed 14-Dec-16 08:27:12

Definitely agree- email or text is the only sensitive way to do it. It means that your friends can take in the news in their own way, at their own pace, and deal with their own emotions, before expressing their happiness for you.

arbrighton Wed 14-Dec-16 08:35:36

I'm about to go and see various friends this weekend and while my bean isn't accidental, we weren't TTC long and at least one couple have been through several miscarriages and IVF just failed.

They've then found out another friend is pregnant (big surprise, she's in her 40s and as far as I know wasn't trying) .

So, a mutual friend is going to let them know beforehand. I'm only 10 weeks but really, it's pretty obvious already and several friends in our group do know. We decided if it were less of a surprise, that might ease it a little. I know nothing will really but people do get pregnant.

Monkeyandthebear Wed 14-Dec-16 09:15:20

We have a similar situation. Family member has been struggling with ivf etc we will see them over Christmas. I am 12 weeks today so going to tell people at Christmas but think we will ask the sister in law to talk to the family member first. They are closer than we are so think it would come better from her and give them time to process the information before she sees us. I know they will be happy for us, but also know how hard it was when we were TTC and people told us they were pregnant and our journey was pretty straight forward so can only imagine how they feel with similar news.

GreedyDuck Wed 14-Dec-16 13:18:59

I emailed a couple of friends who I thought might find the news difficult, before I made a low key announcement on fb at 20 weeks. Both really appreciated getting a personal message.

Having been on the other side for many years, I always preferred to know in advance, so that I could have a bit of a cry/feel sorry for myself, but then plaster on a happy face and mean it when I actually saw them. I would also say that I found seeing pregnant friends very difficult, and in a couple of cases avoided them for the entire nine months, but once the baby was actually born I found it easier to see them.

Rustler74 Wed 14-Dec-16 14:02:16

How considerate of you to think of that. Before long I've been in that case of not knowing when I was ever going to have a baby, and friends who knew this have been very sparse with their information about getting pregnant, which left me with having to act on the spot, although I was always happy for them. Your way is more considerate, and I think the replies of some others was very good, like GreedyDuvk says.

reindeerbitesback Wed 14-Dec-16 14:08:08

I'm in a similar situation, but we were ttc (albeit we conceived first cycle, but we won't disclose this information).

I really don't know what to do. My sister and SIL1 are both pregnant too, while my SIL2 has had a failed round of IVF a couple of months ago. I'm 12 weeks and haven't told anyone yet, but her and my brother will be the first people we tell (by text) before we arrive for family Christmas.

sweetchilli77 Wed 14-Dec-16 14:26:46

As someone who was TTC for 6 years i always dreaded friends telling me they where pregnant.....NOT because i was gutted, but because i didn't want them to feel sorry for us or feel we would be hurt with there lovely news.

A txt sounds nice, an email too formal for me IMO.It makes when meeting a nice occasion to congratulate without any awkwardness.

Im now 20 wk pregnant smile

xStefx Wed 14-Dec-16 14:35:10

Defo a txt first so they can digest it. Nothing to imply that your feel sorry for them (that's hurtful) and just a normal nice, breezy message. Im only saying because im trying after a miscarriage and that's how my SIL told me she was pregnant and I was really greatful xx

namuandme Wed 14-Dec-16 15:24:12

We've just gone through the same thing, one of our friendship group announced her pregnancy (12 weeks) on facebook and the friends TTC were really upset which I didn't know and I had arranged to meet up to tell them face to face about my pregnancy (18 weeks) which ended up being a really horrid experience for all of us. So definatly earlier rather than later and do it before you put it on any social media. smile

huffwoof Fri 16-Dec-16 13:32:39

Thanks for your ideas smile

It went ok !

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