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Not enjoying work and waiting it out...

(14 Posts)
gigi556 Wed 07-Dec-16 21:48:39

I'm currently 16 weeks pregnant and not enjoying my job. I started the job in January 2016 and have known for a while that it's not quite for me but chose to stay as we were buying a house and trying for a baby.
I'll get SMP and my partner and I have decided I will take 12 months off. I plan to either return to work or start my own business from home following my maternity leave, but I don't want to return to my current job. Obviously, the longer I hold out the longer I'll get paid while I'm off work. My OH earns more than me and we decided we can survive off his salary for a time but not forever. It's enough to pay all the bills etc but will be tight and difficult to save etc. He is supportive of me starting a business that I can run from home as this is our first and we'd like 1-2 more.
We have discussed me taking about a month off before I'm due on May 25, but I just can't wait to leave! I'm feeling really down on my job sad
Anyone been in this situation? Is finishing work at say 30 weeks silly? I'm thinking I can relax, get everything sorted before the birth, exercise more (walking etc), maybe even start researching business ideas so I can stay at home... I think I could even finish earlier if I took my annual leave before my maternity leave...
I know I'm really in a good position compared to a lot of families so feel lucky and grateful but I'm struggling and depressed about my job (the hormones don't help!).

MrsChrisPratt Wed 07-Dec-16 21:58:40

I am in almost exactly the same position. 25 weeks, hate my job with an absolute passion and my manager is a horrible bullying arsehole who likes to pick on pregnant people. I want to go back to work, but not to this job. DH earns enough to cover the bills but no luxuries/saving. I did think about going on mat leave at 29 weeks (means I'd not have to go back after Xmas as could take some holidays too), but decided I'm not going to let my bosses behaviour financially disadvantage us. Sticking it out til 36 weeks is the current plan. 1.5 weeks til I'm off for xmas anyway then only 7 weeks back after that. Its hard but I found breaking it down into manageable chunks helps me feel less fed up. Everytime I get pissed off I count how many days I have left which cheers me up hmm

I think I'd be bored if I stopped too soon and just spend my time worrying as well. Its hard but I'd try to push through if I were you. Work out how much cash you'll lose out in by going early that might help motivate you (3 months pay soon adds up!).

It sucks though, you have my sympathy

noodlmcdoodl Wed 07-Dec-16 22:28:28

I've no experience of your situation, I don't love or hate my job, it's a means to an end. I only intend to go back for 3 months (after a year off) to keep my enhanced maternity pay. I finished work at 32 weeks (annual leave for first few weeks). I had wanted to finish at 30 and was ready long before, but it wasn't feasible with the annual leave I was entitled to. I've no health conditions and have had an easy, smooth pregnancy.... I just wanted the time to exercise, relax and look after myself. I'm now 38 weeks and I don't know how I found the time to work!! I've been going walking, cycling and doing yoga most days and have had time to cook decent meals. It's been lovely to have the odd day on the sofa reading or watching films too. I've loved every minute and not regretted finishing when I did. I feel really calm, prepared and ready to start the next chapter in my life.

It sounds like you are likely to fill your time and make the most of it.

ginswinger Wed 07-Dec-16 22:30:00

I was you five years ago! I had a horrible, bullying boss and equally unpleasant colleague. At about 30 weeks I quietly downed tools and did the bare minimum to get by. No extras, no unpaid overtime. I brought my maternity leave forwards and legged it at 36 weeks. I never went back, came to an agreement with my awful boss to pay me off (he broke every rule in the book for dealing with a pregnant employee) and started my own business.
Five years on, I'm so much happier. My beautiful DD is at school and I work my hours around her in a pretty successful capacity. My advice would be to get out as soon as you can! Life is too short to be sad.

soontobeamum1982 Thu 08-Dec-16 11:17:21

I'm only six weeks pregnant but in a similar(ish) position. If this pregnancy works out (i've had a previous miscarriage) I intend to take maternity leave from 36 weeks, but I feel like that's so long away. I enjoy the substance of my job by my boss is a complete arsehole, impossible to work for. I intend to take a full year, but I've no idea what to do afterwards, and I don't know if I can bear it right up to my mat leave date. And I earn more than my OH. We could survive on his salary plus me with PT hours, but I expect I won't be offered any flexibility if I tried to return to where I am now. It's so hard to know what's for the best. No advice really, just sympathy - and I'll be watching this thread with interest.

gigi556 Thu 09-Mar-17 11:07:51

Bit of an update here. I'm going on Maternity Leave at 36 weeks. I'm currently 29. Work has been much better since after Christmas but just in the last week is killing me! I'm so bored and negative. Only 7 weeks to go! Give me strength!

haveacupoftea Thu 09-Mar-17 19:03:02

I'm going at 33 weeks, 5 weeks to go. Its getting to be bloody hard work!

nursebickypegs Thu 09-Mar-17 19:14:17

I'm currently 29 weeks, and I've been on sick leave since 24 weeks. I'm going on maternity leave at 34 weeks.

My manager didn't safe guard me at all. No risk assessment, sent to violent patients, swine flu, shingles... 14 patients a day, 12 hour days. Asked to reduce my workload and was told I would put pressure on the team. No maternity uniforms ordered and was told to order my own from Amazon. Wanted proof of my pregnancy. Wasn't allowed time off for appointments. Got told at 23 weeks that Bub has a heart condition and was signed off sick by my consultant. I ended up working 12 weeks with no risk assessment. I raised it to unison and upper management.

I've been applying for jobs as I can not go back there. I asked my manager for flexible hours (wanted 3 set days at 10hours) and was told no. Today I found out I was successful and I'm off to a new job in February! Yay!

In all seriousness, if my manager just did my risk assessment I'd be working until my due date. But they didn't. If they gave me time off for appointments rather than asking me to switch shifts or take leave, I'd been less stressed.

glitterglitters Thu 09-Mar-17 19:31:44

I left my old job at 30 weeks, after being off sick for about 6 weeks after being treated abysmally. I wish I'd taken it to a tribunal but o left it too late. I am now self employed and expecting my second as well. It was a big jump and I worried about money constantly which made me feel worse but in hindsight, a lot of people do a lot more with a lot less. Although op has probably gone on mat leave now if anybody else is wondering your mh and baby's health are far more important than a poxy job.

AndWhat Thu 09-Mar-17 19:40:50

I knew from week 1 in a new job I didn't like it, was looking elsewhere when I found out I was pregnant went sick at 25 weeks started mat leave at 36 weeks.
Then as time to go back got closer I sought other employment got offered another job 2 weeks after going back so kept my mat pay and got a much better job afterwards win win

user1485166754 Thu 09-Mar-17 19:55:14

I am in the exact same situation! I absolutely hate my job and am due in July and also want to take 4 weeks off before hand.

I am going to hand in my notice while nearing the 9 month mark of maternity leave and look for a new job.

I have actually been signed off work for a few weeks as I've had quite a difficult pregnancy with a few scares etc, although obviously I'd rather be at work without any pregnancy issues!

WantingBaby1 Thu 09-Mar-17 20:25:30

I could have written your original post! Really dislike my current job, although it's easy and 9 to 5 which is lovely so I really can't complain. But I'm just so bored and am counting down the days until I can leave. I'm on a fixed term contract until september and will get maternity pay until then as long as i dont go before 29 weeks. I'm currently 19 weeks contemplating leaving at 30.

gigi556 Thu 09-Mar-17 20:29:35

I presume all the posters saying they got signed off sick had genuine reasons for being signed off? I'm having a relatively easy pregnancy and wouldn't change it, but sometimes I wish I had the balls to pretend I wasn't well enough to work!

glitterglitters Thu 09-Mar-17 21:02:59

I got signed off with stress and severe reflux, which was caused by stress 😩. It would improve and my return to work would draw on my mind and would set it off again. My work was horrendous though and even thinking about it now brings me into a cold sweat. I've not even stepped foot there for over two years either!

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